Page 131 of Away We Go

I’m going to do a little grovelling as well if I need to.

“This is so romantic.” She gazes off into the distance with a dreamy expression on her face and I focus on the brunch in front of me until she’s ready to re-engage in the conversation. We’re at one of my favourite Melbourne cafes and I’m more than happy to spend time with my avocado toast while she daydreams about my reunion with Nicky.

“And he doesn’t know you’re coming?” she asks, finally drifting back down to earth.

I shake my head. One of the most painful things about our separation is that we’ve not spoken since I left. I tried to text with him, but when he didn’t respond, I left it alone, thinking it was for the best. I gave up, not wanting to distract him, but really, I think it was for self-preservation. If just looking at him on my TV and my Instagram was this difficult, hearing his gravelly voice would have ended me.

“We thought it best to keep him in the dark. This is the biggestweekend for him. There’s no need to pull his thoughts from the task ahead of him.”

“Win the championship first, then win back the girl.” She grins and I laugh.

“The girl is well and truly won.”

She takes a sip of her Magic coffee and hums. “You know, I think he was keen on you even way back at your twenty-first.”

I tell her she’s nuts with a raised eyebrow and a dismissive hand gesture.

“No, seriously. You didn’t notice because you were all in a tizz, being the centre of attention. But the guy looked like he’d swallowed glass when he saw you.”

“That’s a bad thing,” I point out.

She thinks about this. “True. But he was stunned. Like he’d taken a punch to the stomach. And he watched you for the entire time he was there.”

My best friend, always seeing things that aren’t there.

“Come on, Tanya. He was a famous superstar, even back then. There was no way I was capturing any of his attention.”

She tuts at me. “You never see it, Cherry. You never see the effect you have on people. That’s why you ended up with Troy.”

We both make a face—looking likewe’veswallowed glass—at the mere mention of my ex-boyfriend.

“Did I tell you he messaged me?”

Her mouth falls open. “No. Tell me.”

I fish my phone out of the bottom of my bag and scroll down to his last few messages. “Here, read them for yourself.”

I watch her face turn pink, then red and then purple as she reads through the message chain.

“I’m going to kill him.”

She’ll have to get in line behind Matteo.“Eh, he’s not worth the jail time.”

She looks at the phone and then back at me, staring at the lines of hateful insults my ex-boyfriend sent my way. After my relationship with Nicky went public, he’d taken it upon himself to send me messages listing all the ways it’s going to fail, how ridiculous I look in the photos posted of me, and how Nicky will grow tired of me, too. Just as he had.

“How are you alright with this?”

I shrug. “I’m not alright with it. I know he’s toxic and a bad person. I guess I just realised he doesn’t have the power to hurt me anymore. Gosh, that feels incredible to say out loud. Those messages just speak to who he is; they have nothing to do with me.”

Her small hand reaches across the table to hold mine. “Now, if you can only take that and apply it to Frieda. And to all the hateful people on the internet.”

Huh. She’s right. Maybe with a little help from the counsellor who I’m seeing tomorrow, I will be able to do this.

“It’s like having brunch with a side of therapy,” I joke.

Tanya knows about my midnight breakthrough and my commitment to getting some help and like the true bestie she is, she’s one hundred per cent supportive.

She grins. “For you, I’ll charge only one hundred dollars an hour.”

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