Page 80 of Away We Go

Worse than that?

“Can we make it go away?”

He stands up in a jerky movement, pacing a few steps away from me and then back again. “There’s only one way to kill this sort of speculation.”

My heart pinches at the grim expression on his face. Whatever he’s about to say, I’m not going to like.

“How?”

His broad chest rises and falls as he draws in a deep breath. Running a hand through his hair, he turns and moves further away from me, stopping when he gets to the window. “It means we need to be careful. The media sense a story here and they won’t leave us alone until they find one. We need to give it—the story—zero oxygen.”

“Okay…”

“This means we can’t spend too much time together in the coming weeks. Especially alone. There are too many people around willing to take and sell photos of us. It’s not safe.”

“You want me to stay away from you?”

His shoulders jolt up around his ears. “It’s for the best.”

The idea of it, of keeping my distance from him, of him keeping his distance from me, bounces around my brain. We’ve been on the precipice of something happening between us—the media isn’t completely off base in their reporting—and now it’s crashing to a halt. In his need to protect me from the people out there wanting to hurt me, he’s hurting me the most.

I want to cry out, to yell at him that what we may have is worth whatever they may throw at us, but I don’t. From the set of his shoulders and the tone of his voice, I know there’s no changing his mind. Nicky will never put me in harm's way; it’s the way he’s been programmed with me since the day I was born.

“Do you want me to leave the team?”

He spins around, panic flickering on his face before he masks it. “No!”

Phew.Because I can take keeping my distance from him, as long as I can still see him. Still be in his life in some small way.

“Then we’ll just be professional around each other. You’ll treat me like any other member of the team.”

His gaze roams all over me before he closes his eyes with a quiet sigh. “It’s for the best.”

“Yes.”

Decision made, I stand and walk over to him. Taking his hands in mine, I stare up at him, using this moment to study his face. The bruises under his eyes and the deep grooves around his mouth tell me how much this is weighing on him. His hair is ruffled on top and his jaw is held in a tight line, like he’s holding in something he desperately wants to say. I stand up on my toes and brush my lips over his cheek, wanting to comfort him—to let him know I’m okay—and not knowing exactly how to do it. His eyes fly to mine and he inches closer, until we’re standing chest to chest, breathing each other in.Who knows when we’ll be close like this again?

I pull in a deep inhale. “Nicky—”

His phone blares from somewhere deep in his pocket. He squeezes my hands and steps back, looking at his screen and back at me. “I have to go.”

I swallow thickly and nod, turning to walk with him to the door. This day has gone downhill so fast; just a few hours ago we were holding hands on his plane and now we’re being forced to keep our distance.

This must be what Rose and Jack had felt at the start ofTitanicwhen they were forced apart by societal class structures. Well, class structures, and then the iceberg and then the floating door (I just know they both could’ve fitted).

“You can still call me…anytime.” He pauses before opening the door. “I mean it, Cherry. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

I nod and attempt to give him a reassuring smile. I’m pretty sure I look like a sad face emoji instead.

“See you tomorrow at the track.”

He runs a gentle finger over my cheek, a mere whisper of a caress that hurts not because of the bruise that’s blossoming there, but because I know he won’t be touching me like this again.

“Bye.”

I wait until I know he’ll be long gone, before collapsing on the bed and finally allowing the tears that have been threatening to fall. I cry because what happened out there with the press was scary. I cry because my face really hurts. But mostly I cry because whatever was developing between the two of us is now gone.

Perhaps we are like Jack and Rose after all? I just hope our ending is not quite so tragic.

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