Page 2 of The Love Penalty

I hold still until I’m sure he’s gone, then breathe in and out, trying to calm my racing heart. I shouldn’t care what Mark of all people thinks of me, but I can’t help feeling hurt by his comment. Probably because he’s right, I’m not worth it. I’ve never been worthy of anything or anyone.

My mom left when I was ten.

My boyfriend dumped me because I wasn’t smart and ambitious enough for him and his family.

And my dad…well I can’t really blame him for dying. I probably didn’t deserve him either.

My father, Carl Wilson, always had a great opinion of me. He worked so hard as a mechanic and always made sure to be home on time to spend time with me after school. I was his whole world and after seeing how excited I was about hockey, he made it his mission to give me every opportunity to play. He’d always say, “’Squirt, some day, you’re going to play women’s hockey at the professional level!’”

The farthest I got was playing Division I in college. The closest I will get to the professionals is by officiating. When I was 16 and realized I needed to get a job and help my dad pay for my hockey gear, I decided to start reffing. I got certified and started out in a little league.

More than a decade later, I am officiating at the EHL level and have my sights on the NHL. I know it won’t be an easy road, there are very few women officials for a reason. It’s a cutthroat job market to begin with, but being a woman in the world of men’s hockey is brutal. Not only am I not respected by the players and coaches, but also by the fans. One bad call on the ice, and the entire arena is suddenly against me.

But I’ve always had thick skin, and if I am going to make it to the NHL, I can't let that kind of stuff get to me.

I lift my hockey bag over my shoulder and decide it’s time to head home. There is no televised hockey tonight since we’re in the offseason, but I’m excited to get home, away from people, and curl up on my couch with a romance novel. As I start driving, I get a call from my old mentor, Jack, who I haven’t spoken to in a year. I wonder what this could be about.

TWO

Olivia

I first metJack six years ago, after I graduated college and decided I wanted to officiate hockey games for a living. I signed up for a referee camp and he happened to be my instructor. He’s one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met and has always made me feel part of his family. His daughters are a few years younger than me, but we’ve always gotten along. We haven’t spoken in the last year because I have been too busy with the EHL gig and my other side jobs. I tend to fall off the face of the earth sometimes.

If it were anyone else, they would probably be offended if I didn’t answer their calls or talk to them in so long. But Jack knows me, and he’s in contact with my grandma, the only person I talk to regularly. So he knows I’m not dead.

I answer the call and it connects to my car speakers. “Hi Jack.”

“Olivia, why don’t you answer your phone? I called you five times. I have news,” he says in a soft, chiding tone.

“Sorry Jack, I was at a beer league and my phone was in the locker room. What’s up? Is everyone okay?” I say with some concern. He wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. My mind is already thinking of the worst possible scenario. Did something happen with his wife, Bonnie? Is he sick? Is he dying?

Before panic can overtake me, Jack says, “Everyone is fine, I am calling with good news, honey.”

“Oh. Okay…” I say and wait for him to continue.

After a moment, he says, “There is an open position for a young AHL referee in the Midwest region,” he pauses for another moment and I feel my heart racing so fast, “and I recommended you.”

He says this matter of fact. As if he didn’t just hand me a huge opportunity like it was nothing. I am so excited that I need to pull over and process this conversation.

“Wait, wait... what?” I all but screech. “What kind of position? What’s the pay? Would they really take me without much EHL experience?”

“Slow down, honey. Here’s what I know so far. One of the young referees that was supposed to officiate this season had some kind of accident over the summer. He’ll recover, but he’s in no condition to skate for a while. That means there’s an opening. I heard this from some of my old contacts at the AHL, so I immediately recommended you. They want to have a meeting with you at the end of this week. What do you say?”

I am so shocked, I don’t even know what to say for a full minute. “Of course I will meet with them!” I blink back tears, becauseholy shitthis is exactly what I needed.

“Now, as a young referee, you’d still get paid per game, so it’s not a salary position, but the pay is better. You’d get to travel around the Midwest, so you’ll at least get out of Minnesota for a bit.”

“That sounds great, Jack. Truly, I don’t even know how to thank you.”

“You can thank me by buying me a drink when you’re in Wisconsin for a game,” he says, laughing softly. “I’ll forward you an email with all the details for the meeting. And call me every now and then, yeah? I don’t want to call your grandma every time I need an update about you, that woman talks my ears off for hours.”

I can’t help but laugh, and okay, maybe some tears do escape this time. This man has been a father figure to me these last six years. “I will call more, I promise. Thank you!”

“Alright kiddo, have a good night.”

“Goodnight.” I hang up the phone and grip the steering wheel as hard as I can. I drop my head on it with a huge sigh of relief and anticipation.

Suck it, Mark,it will be super fun to hang out by myself in all the cities I’ll get to travel to.

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