Page 29 of The Love Penalty

Robbie is quiet the whole car ride to one of my favorite delis. After my two failed attempts at making conversation, I am quiet too. I want to know what is going on in that beautiful head of his. He’s quiet as we eat and now I’m starting to get worried.

“So, did you have a fun weekend? I know it doesn’t compare to Chicago,” I say, attempting to break him out of this funk one last time.

He finishes his last bite of sandwich and gives me another intense look as he says “I had the best time. I'm so happy I got to know you better. That you let me in.”

I nod and say, “Yeah, same here.” I expect him to say more, but he doesn’t. He gives me a half smile and throws away our trash. Okay then, I guess that’s that.

I can’t help thinking this is going to be an awkward car ride again. And I’m right.

Robbie looks out the window the entire drive to the airport as we just listen to the 80s radio station. Every now and then I see him tap his foot or his fingers and can’t help but wonder what he is possibly anxious about.

We approach the airport and I finally break the silence, “Should I go to the drop-off or park?” My heart is in my throat. If he says drop-off, that means something is wrong and hedoesn’t even want to say a proper goodbye, right? But if he tells me to park, maybe that means he wants me there until the last moment when he has to go through security.

Before I can panic more, he says, “Park.”

I bring the car to a stop in one of the empty spots and get out. Robbie does too and grabs his overnight bag from the backseat. He checks that he has everything he needs and we head inside.

“I checked in on my phone earlier at the arena, so I don’t need to do that here,” he says softly, peeking a glance at me. I try to keep all the emotions off of my face as I walk alongside him to the security area.

Robbie fidgets with the strap of his bag and then abruptly turns to face me, bringing me to a stop. This is it. He’s leaving and I won’t see him again until the day after Thanksgiving when I am back in Grand Marquee. And by his demeanor this afternoon, he didn’t have as much fun as he said he did.

Is he about to tell me that we can’t hang out again?

Is it because of me? Was I not enough? Was I too much?

I feel the pressure behind my eyes and bite my lip to not let the tears out. I look everywhere but at Robbie’s face. If he’s about to let me down gently, I might actually run and hide in a hole for the rest of my life.

“I was thinking—” he says, but pauses like he needs to collect his thoughts. This is it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I prepare myself for his next words. “You should come spend Thanksgiving with me.”

My eyes fly open and move to his face. He looks nervous as hell. And what did he just say? “What?” I ask, dumbfounded.

He swallows and says “Well, I know you have your Grams here, but I’d like you to come spend Thanksgiving with me and my family. I met the most important person in your life, it’s only fair you get to do the same.”

I furrow my brow and ask, “Is this a pity ask?”

His eyes widen and then flare. “I would never pity you. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I admire the shit out of you. You let me in this weekend and it made me see how truly incredible you are. So no, I am not asking because I pity you. I am asking because I want to let you in as well.”

A stupid tear escapes me but Robbie’s thumb is there to catch it. Again. “Olive,” he whispers, and the way he says it is enough for me to break. I step into his arms and hug him as tightly as I can. He squeezes me back just as hard and we just stand there in each other’s embrace for a few minutes. Neither of us willing to let go.

“I would love to spend the holiday with you,” I mumble against his neck and I can feel him relax in relief. Was he really worried I would say no? Does he not know how much I crave his presence? “Is this why you were so quiet the whole ride here?”

He pulls back a bit so we can see each other and he nods. “I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Wasn't sure if it was too much, too soon.”

“It’s not.”

He gives me a full smile this time and I can’t help but mirror it. “Good. I was thinking you could fly in on Wednesday night, we can spend Thanksgiving with my family. Then Friday it lines up perfectly with you officiating our game. And if you are open to it, you can stay until Sunday. I have those next two days off. There are some other family traditions we have, like cutting down our own Christmas tree from the farm and watching holiday movies. Plus, I can show you around Grand Marquee,” he’s getting so excited but I need to tamp it down.

“I’ll have to check hotel prices… I’m not sure I could afford staying that long. And I might have to take a bus if flights are expensive,” I say in a rush.

“Are you kidding? You’re not paying for any hotels. You’ll stay at my house. And I know you’ll probably say no, but I dowant to help pay for your ticket. After all, this was all my last minute idea. Let me help. I’d rather spend more time with you than wait around for the bus to bring you,” he smiles hopefully.

I shake my head but smile back and say, “I’ll take you up on the offer to stay with you, but I can figure out the plane ticket.”

“Just, promise me you’ll ask for help if you want it? Please don’t bail,” he asks. And it’s that last plea that does it.Please don’t bail.

“I would never. I’ll be there,” I hold his gaze as I say this and he nods. Then he wraps me up in another big hug.

Holy shit, I might be addicted to this man’s hugs. They are everything. He makes me feel safe and cherished and I haven’t felt that in over a decade.

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