Page 56 of The Love Penalty

“Where’s the fun in that?” He smirks over at me, “Is Olivia nearby?”

“Don’t piss me off tonight, Ash. Stop flirting with my girlfriend.”

“Aw, but it’s so worth it to see your murderous glare.”

“So, I take it you didn’t ask your person to be your date?” I throw back and immediately regret it.

His face falls and he takes another shot before saying, “Nope, guess I didn’t.” The next thing he says is so quiet I almost don’t hear him. “He’s here somewhere anyway.”

I pat his shoulder and tell him, “I’m sorry. I’m being an ass. Come with me, let’s play some darts or something. And maybe take it easy on the drinking, yeah?”

“Fine, Grandpa. I guess we can do something fun around here. It’s a good turn out by the way.”

“Unfortunately,” I grumble and he laughs at me and pats my chest.

“You’re such an old man.”

The party was surprisinglytame and people left around two in the morning. We had a countdown at midnight and then Olivia and I sneaked off to the bedroom and made out for ten minutes, until Alice knocked on the door and told us someone was looking for me. After that we didn’t get any more moments alone which is a shame. All I wanted was to press her up against the wall, hike up her dress and bury myself inside her. It’s like I’m starved for her body and warmth. I haven’t been this horny since I was a teenager.

Jordan was fine to drive and offered to take Alice home. She suggested they both stay and take the spare bedroom but he yelled out, “No!” and basically ran to the car. What an idiot.

Ash got progressively more drunk as the night went on and he’s now passed out on the couch, a bottle of whiskey dangling from his hand. I saw him disappear around midnight, but I couldn’t tell who he was with. I’m not sure if that interaction went well since Ash is in his current state. Poor guy must have gotten rejected.

Elias is trying to wake him up and take him home but I don’t think that’s an option. “Just let him spend the night here,” I say.

“What if he has to throw up during the night? You want him to do that on your nice carpet?”

I wince and say, “No, but if you take him home he’ll probably throw up all over his bed.”

“I was planning on taking him to my place,” Elias says and that takes me by surprise. Although, maybe it shouldn’t. They live in the same building, across from each other. They’re close and spend time together at parties and work events. Even our social media account loves their “bromance.” Something seemed off with them tonight, though. I must be quiet for a while because Elias looks up and says, “What is it?”

I hesitate, but then say, “Nothing, that’s just surprising. You two didn’t seem to get along that well tonight. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s not that we don’t get along. I just don’t like it when he drinks so much. It’s hard to have a serious conversation with him.” He shrugs but sits on the small patch of couch that’s not covered by Ash’s body. He reaches down and takes the bottle from Ash, then moves his arm up over his stomach so it doesn’t dangle anymore.

“Can I ask you something personal?” I say quietly even though no one else is around to hear, expecting him to shut down. He surprises me again by nodding, but he’s not looking at me.

“Why do you always take care of him?”

Elias exhales in a rush, relieved I didn’t ask the real question. He clasps his hands so hard they’re white and says, “He’s my friend. I care about all of you.”

“That’s a lie. I mean you care about us, sure, but you don’t treat us like this. You don’t cover us with blankets when you think we’re cold. You don’t bring us water when we’re hungover.You don’t rub our backs when we throw up because we drank too much. Should I keep going?”

“No.” He takes a moment to gather his thoughts then softly says, “It’s hard to explain. When I met him, I thought he was an idiot. Probably still is, but he’smyidiot, you know?”

I smile and sit down on the chair to his side. He relaxes a bit more and continues, “I told myself I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. I know I never talk about my previous relationship. I was young and stupid and fell in love with a teammate.” He looks up at me, waiting for a reaction. He won’t get one. I just nod and encourage him to continue. He blows out a relieved breath and does.

“I was 24 when we started seeing each other. We were on the same team in Finland and we hit it off. Both of us wanted to keep it a secret, because let’s be real, gay men in hockey are not exactly respected. There were very few openly gay players in the league, if any at all. So we did our best to hide it, and we did for two years, until a couple months before my trade here. I was ready to come out, but he didn’t think I should. He basically told me I’d ruin my career if I did. So I asked him where he saw our relationship going. You know what he said?”

I swallow but shake my head and he continues. “Nowhere. He said I was a fun time for a while, but he would never even dream about being seen with me in public, let alone date me openly.”

“So what’s keeping you from telling all this to Ash? I mean he’s not exactly closeted. Sure, he doesn’t publicly announce his orientation, but we all know he’s bi.”

“I just don’t think I’d be good for him. He’s got so much potential, and I’ve got a lot of baggage that he doesn’t need to deal with. I don’t want to put that pressure on him.”

“I still think you should tell him.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

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