Page 61 of The Love Penalty

“Hey, babe. I’m so sorry, I don’t have any updates yet,” I say with a frustrated sigh. Why did this stupid storm have to come today? Just to wreck my plans.

“Can you find someone and ask?” he says with a bit of an edge. My brows furrow and I pause. Is he mad at me? For being stuck in an airport due to a snowstorm I have no control over?

“It’s not going to do much good. Someone nearby tried and the worker just said to sit tight and wait for an attendant to come to the desk. My hands are tied, Robbie.”

He scoffs and I wince slightly. He really is mad. “This wouldn’t have happened if you just let me get you the direct flight.”

“I’m sorry that I have principles, Robbie. Sorry for not letting you pay for everything all the time, like God forbid I ever pay for a meal once in a while. What does it say about you that you need to always be the one to provide?” Shit, it feels good to snap every once in a while. Screw him for being the only one who’s mad. I am angry and frustrated too. We’ve been away from each other for a month and I miss him like crazy. I really don’t want to have this meaningless fight, but at the same time I feel like it’s long overdue.

Robbie is quiet for long enough that I can take a shaky breath and blink back the tears that threaten to escape. His voice is cool when he says, “There’s a winter weather advisory starting, and if we don’t leave in the next two hours we risk not making it up north.”

“And what exactly do you want me to do?” I whisper yell through the phone. “Turn back time, get a different flight? Teleport myself there?” I’m being a bitch and I know it, but how the hell is it my fault that the weather is bad?

“I just want you here!” he yells and I wipe away the tears from my face.

Sniffling, I softly say, “I want to be there too, okay? I’ll let you know as soon as I hear any news. And if I don’t have any updates in the next hour, just go without me. I’ll see if I can get a flight back home. Alright?”

“No, not alright, Olive,” he replies defeatedly. “This is supposed to be our vacation. A full week of spending time together. Just—just keep me posted, I guess.”

“Fine,” I say meekly and he hangs up. And I stare and stare at his name on my phone and let myself cry more, because it’s the first time he didn’t end the call sayingI love you.

An hour passes by with no updates and I text Robbie to let him know so the three of them can head to the cabin. It breaks my heart that I won’t get to see him and have the rest of this fight in person. I want to see his face, to know if he truly does blame me for this trip going south, or to see if he’ll hug me and apologize instead. I don’t hear anything back from Robbie or Alice and that puts me in even worse spirits.

When an attendant finally does come she reassures us that we’ll be able to take off in the next hour, which we do. As soon as the plane is about to leave the gate, I text Robbie again and let him know I’ll text him when I land. Then I turn it off, turn my head to the small window and cry some more.

The flightfrom Chicago to Grand Marquee was only 50 minutes including take off and landing, and even though there was a ton of turbulence, we landed in one piece. I’m not usually paranoid when flying, but with the storm, I did question all my life choices and why I even got on this plane to begin with. I should have just gotten a return flight home from Chicago and not even come here. But I didn’t have my luggage with me and maybe deep down I was also hoping that Robbie would still be here to pick me up.

I feel so lost right now. Robbie is mad at me, Mitchell is probably going to get me fired, and I’m starting to question if along distance relationship was a good idea. Would we have been better off as just friends, without all the added baggage?Was it all worth it?

I drag my little carry-on and approach the baggage claim area, hoping that my luggage didn’t get lost with the delay. I know this airport like the back of my hand now, and so I walk with my head down, avoiding the looks that people give me when they see my swollen face and puffy eyes.

I shake my head at my traitorous thoughts. Of course it was all worth it.Robbie is worth it. I love him, and I’m willing to fight for him. But is he willing to do the same?

My gaze snags on a pair of black winter boots as they stop and stand next to me. The scuff on the top of the right foot looks exactly like the one I accidentally gave Robbie’s boot when I wore it in the garage last time I was at his house. I tripped and scuffed it on a piece of metal and I immediately panicked thinking he’d get mad. He didn’t. He’d laughed and said, “Love, they’re just a pair of shoes. I’m just glad you didn’t fall.”

I blink away more tears just thinking about him and I slowly look up at the man next to me. He stares back with a look of sadness and exhaustion on his face that mirrors mine. I manage to give him a small smile and say, “You still came.”

Robbie’s shoulders slump and he lets out a sigh before slowly approaching me and wrapping me up in a hug so tight, I can barely breathe. But I don’t care, I hang on to him just as tightly and nuzzle my face in his chest. He’s bundled up in a warm winter coat and I want to burrow myself in there with him. “Of course I came. The trip is not worth it without you there, love,” he says in a ragged voice while wiping away some of my tears.

The luggage arrives and we head to his car. I notice that he brought the Jeep and not the truck this time. He usually prefers to drive the truck in the snow. We don’t say much on the drive to his house and I wonder how awkward this week will be if allwe do is fight and ignore each other. I don’t like this feeling one bit, not being able to tell him every single thought I have, not knowing how he feels about skipping the trip because of me. I know he said it wouldn’t be worth it without me, but that’s not true. He loves going up to the cabin every year, and Alice and Jordan would have been there too.

When we get to his house, everything is quieter than usual. Not even the cats come to greet me and that brings another wave of sadness. So I just walk straight over to the couch and lie down. Robbie crouches and pushes a strand of hair away from my eyes.

“Olive, we need to talk,” he says, serious but in a soft tone.

I sit up slowly and look anywhere but at him when I say, “I’m sorry you’re missing out on the trip. I messed up your plans and it’s all my fault. I’ll reschedule my flight for tomorrow or something and I can leave you be.”

Robbie’s fists clench and he sits next to me, turning me slightly so I can look at him. I still avoid his eyes. “Why do you think I want you gone?”

I close my eyes but my shoulders slump as his hands are holding me. I all but melt into him, my head leaning on his shoulder. “Because, I don’t deserve you. I just feel like I’m always going to mess things up and you’ll just leave me.”

Robbie grips the back of my neck and pulls me closer to him so that I’m now crushed to his chest. His heart is beating fast.

“Because you didn’t say I love you,” I whisper.

“When?” he asks gently.

“On the phone, after we had our fight.”