Page 20 of Bar Down

I don’t know what this hot-and-cold back and forth with Eli is doing to me, but I need some kind of explanation.

Or closure.

Orsomething.

He can’t just keep rejecting me, reaching out, only to ignore me later and then get mad when someone else is making a move.

“It’s fine, we’re going to the same place,” Eli says to the driver, eyes still glued to mine. I hop in the backseat, only now realizing how freaking tiny this car is. Both of us are big and take up the majority of the backseat, and when I spread my legs to get more comfortable, my knee bumps into Eli’s.

I pull it back like I’ve been burned, knowing he doesn’t care for physical touch, especially not in public. His body goes still and my knee starts bouncing. After about a minute of awkward silence, I feel Eli’s hand stilling my knee. His touch is soft and warm, andfuck, I want nothing more than for him to grip harder, and higher. But he doesn’t.

I fully expect him to yank his hand away as soon as he stops my bouncing leg, but his hand lingers. His long, gentle fingers run circles over my bare knee and I want to melt right here in the backseat of the world’s tiniest car. My eyelids flutter and I turn my head to face him.

Eli is already looking at me, so much hurt and longing showing in his pale blue gaze. His fingers stop circling on top of my knee, and he just lets his hand rest there, with a light grip. Not breaking eye contact, I move my own hand to slowly cover his. His gaze drops down to our hands and moves back to my face, and more specifically, my lips. My tongue peeks out to lick them and I see him track the movement.

He still wants me.

Eli

Ash keepshis hand on top of mine the whole ride back to the hotel. I can’t stop stealing glances at him. I don’t know if I want to stop. Seeing Max all over him made me so irrationally angry.

I didn’t think I was the type to get jealous, but just thinking about the way Max’s hands were roaming all over Ash’s body is making me grind my teeth.That should have been me.

I still don’t know what exactly it is that we’re doing, and I’m in no way ready for a relationship. But maybe we need to get this out of our systems. Maybe all this tension can just go away and we can go back to how things were.

The car drops us off and our hands no longer hold as we walk inside the hotel. We’re both quiet on the elevator ride up. Quiet is not usually Ash’s strong suit, but I don’t say anything for fear of ruining this. Whatever this is.

As soon as we get to our door, my mind is made up.

One night.

This needs to happen. We need to get this out of our systems so we can move on.

I unlock the door and gesture for Ash to walk in first, which he does. As soon as I get inside as well, I kick the door shut, reach for the collar of his polo with both hands and push him up against the wall.

For a second we’re both stunned, just looking at one another, but then our bodies move of their own accord—heads tilting, lips parting.

As soon as his lips are on mine, I let my desire take over. He tastes like the fruity cocktail he was drinking at the club and I chase that, touching my tongue to his seam, begging to be let in, and it feels all consuming. I’m starving and the only thing I want ishim.

Ash’s hands grip the back of my shirt so hard I think he might rip it off me, but as soon as my hand grabs a fistful of his hair and I tug, his grip loosens. He gasps and that’s all I need to deepen the kiss, angling him right where I want him.

And fuck, do Iwanthim.

I’m hard already and I let him know it as I bring our hips flush together and I grind once, twice. I do it again until we reluctantly break for air, panting hard. Ash’s dark blue eyes are blown wide with desire and his lips—they’re pink and swollen.Fuckable.

“Is this really happening?” Ash asks, one hand moving to my chest and trailing down, down, down. It lingers at the waistband of my pants and he looks up through his lashes for permission.

My cock twitches at the touch and it takes everything in my power to remain in control. I swallow hard and say, “Just once. I need to know what you taste like.”

“We’ve kissed before,” he says with a small smirk on his face.

I grin back at him, pulling him into me. As I leave a trail of kisses from his lips to his jaw to his ear, I hear myself say, “That’s not the kind of taste I’m talking about,rakas.”

Ash sways on the spot and I can see a glimpse of his eyes rolling back in pleasure. I bite down on his earlobe, getting an immediate reaction from him. But right as he’s about to shove his hand down my pants, I step back and muster all the confidence I can to say, “Take off your clothes.”

Ash

I don’t thinkI’ve ever heard Eli use such a commanding voice before, but it’s hot as fuck. I swallow and very enthusiastically pull off my blue polo shirt, my hands moving so fast I almost get tangled up in it. It ends up somewhere on the floor. My hand hovers over the zipper of my shorts when Eli suddenly grabs it.

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