Page 35 of Bar Down

I smile at him and want so badly to reach out and touch him, to kiss him. But I made the damn rules, and I need to stick to them. So I settle for looking at him, basking in his brightness and making plans for the summer.

After a short flight to New York and an even shorter layover, we board the second flight. Ash passes out for the entirety of it, and I read the book Alice gave me, crying over how much I relate to the main character, Landon, and his story. I know my life is nothing like a book, but maybe I need to get over this fear I have and just tell my family that I’m into guys.

Would they react badly? Or would they accept me?

SEVENTEEN

Three Months Ago

Ash

After fourteen totalhours of travel, wefinallyland in Helsinki. I was able to sleep the entire flight, which is not an easy feat for me, so by the time we go through customs and pick up our luggage, I am awake and ready for the day.

Eli, on the other hand, looks more tired than I’ve ever seen him and his pale blue eyes are bloodshot and a little puffy. “Hey, are you okay?” I ask, gently stopping him by hooking my hand around his elbow.

Eli looks down and smiles tiredly. “I’m good, I just don’t really enjoy long flights. Couldn’t sleep.”

I nod and let go of him. We each grab a cart and pile our hockey equipment bags, suitcases, and backpacks on them before making our way out of baggage claim.

Maybe I should have been more worried about what Eli’s parents would be like when I first met them, but I can tell right away that I’m going to love them. I could spot them from a mileaway. His dad looks how I imagine Eli would in 30 years. He’s just as tall and imposing, with dark blond hair and the same color eyes as his son, except he has the slightest glimmer in them when he reaches out to hug Eli.

His mom is shorter than I expected, her head barely reaching Eli’s chin, but the fierce hug she gives him shows how strong she is. I stand by, watching their reunion, not knowing what to expect, but it doesn’t take long for them to notice me.

Eli’s father smiles as he shakes my hand and says, “Ashton, welcome to Finland. Is this your first time here?”

“Yes, sir,” I say, trying to sound more confident than I really am in front of this man that Eli looks up to so much.I am meeting Eli’s family.This is a huge step for me and some panic finally starts to set in. What am I doing here, intruding on Eli’s time with his family? Does he truly want me here?

His mom wraps me up in a swift hug as Eli looks at us with a soft smile. Our gazes catch and I take a deep breath. This is fine. Hedoeswant me here, he wouldn’t have suggested this otherwise.

An hour later, we get to Eli’s childhood home, which is not far outside of the city. The mint green house looks more like a duplex, with two separate entrances, except it’s connected together through the living room. The ceiling is high and the kitchen is on the right side of the house, with a small dining room tucked in a corner by the door to the back patio. The left side of the main floor of the house has a large master bedroom and bathroom. This is where his parents sleep.

Upstairs there are two more bathrooms, and three bedrooms. One is Eli’s old room, one is his brother’s, and the last is the spare bedroom. Except, when we get to the spare bedroom, it looks more like a craft room than anything else. There’s definitely no bed in here.

“Mom, what happened to the spare bedroom?” Eli asks, frantically looking around.

“I turned it into my office. I paint and sell things on Etsy now,” his mom says proudly, showing off her work area.

“Since when?” Eli asks. Is it just me or does he seem panicked?

“Since last year,hani.” Eli’s mom says something else but my mind is stuck on that word,hani.

Eli calls me that all the time, and I still don’t know what it means.

“What does that word mean?Hani?” I interrupt quickly, before the conversation can move to another topic.

She smiles at me and says, “It meanshoney. It’s—what do you call it—a term of endearment?”

I feel a flutter in my chest and I can’t stop smiling. When I look over at Eli, I see his face is beet red and he’s looking everywhere but at me.

“Why do you ask?” Mrs. Kalias says.

“Oh, I’m just curious to learn more of the language,” I say with a smirk. “I have more words to ask you about. What doesilo?—”

Eli jumps in at this point and distracts his mom. “Do we have a spare mattress then, can we set it up? I won’t have Ash sleeping on a couch for the whole summer.”

His mom looks almost offended. “Hani,of course not. He’ll be staying with you in your room. We switched your twin bed out for the queen size. I’m sure you can share.”

Eli’s face looks so red, I’m afraid he’s not even breathing at this point.

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