Page 41 of Bar Down

At some point, my dad steers the conversation to hockey and comes up with a plan for practice. Ash is quiet while my dad talks about it and I’m surprised. The sport has always made him excited and happy, but lately that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. His smile is always tight when someone brings up the Calder Cup.

Ed groans and says, “Dad, I just got home, can we maybe not talk about hockey yet?”

“You know how important training during the offseason is,” my dad says, putting on his serious face and I nod along. Ed shrinks into himself a bit and I feel bad. Maybe we should talk about something else.

“Okay, enough hockey talk,” my mom says, collecting the albums and putting them away.

“What do you want to do for your birthday,hani?” she asks when she comes back a moment later.

My gaze snaps to Ash and I see him grinning at the term of endearment. I knew something would go wrong bringing him here. I figured that my family would find out we’re into each other before I got the chance to tell them, but I never considered that he would slowly learn the meaning of all the secret nicknames I’ve come up with in the last few months.

“I was thinking we could go to Helsinki. Maybe rent a hotel so we can sightsee a few places. Ash wants to ride the tram.”

“Woah, woah, don’t make this about me,” Ash says, standing up and stretching. I catch a glimpse of skin as his shirt rises up and do my best not to stare at it, but I fail miserably. He notices and gives me a subtle wink. “It’s your birthday in a few days, what do you want to do?”

“That is what I want to do,” I say, frowning. I’ve never cared that much about birthday celebrations. It’s just another day to me, so why make a big deal about it?

“Okay, so the three of you go, get a hotel for a night or two, it will be fun,” dad says.

“Do you two not want to come?” I ask my parents, hoping they will say no so I can get more time alone with Ash.

“We can celebrate you here when you come back. I’ll make your favorite cake,” mom says and I straighten up in my seat.

“German chocolate cake?” I ask.

“Of course,” she responds, patting my shoulder as she walks by to the kitchen.

“Ugh, what is it with you and coconut? It’s not even that good,” Ed says and I smack him in the chest with a decorative pillow.

“Alright, let’s get the hotel and train tickets. Are you excited?” I ask Ash as I stand up from the couch.

“Hell yeah!” Ash says, turning around and running for the stairs.

“Pack light, we’re only downtown for one night,” I yell after him.

“Yeah yeah,” he says, bounding up the stairs to our room. His excitement is infectious and my brother runs up after him to pack his own bag.

Ash

Even though theman I love is turning twenty nine today, he doesn’t want to make a big fuss about it, so we keep our excursion lowkey. We walk over to Fleet Park where we see all kinds of boats, but the sailboats are by far the most interesting ones.

Sailboats are fucking cool.

Growing up in Charlestown—one of the rich neighborhoods of Boston—means I’ve seen and been on my fair share of boats. I remember begging my dad for months to get a sailboat when I was fifteen. I was so excited when he finally said he’d purchase one, it was probably one of the few times I actually liked hanging out with him, touring different boats together. But when the time came, he bought the biggest, most expensive yacht he could afford instead.

My father has never been a man of his word. I don’t know why I expected him to actually follow through when he never seemed to care about me or my interests before. I should have known better.

I’m lost in my own thoughts when Eli steps up next to me, leaning on the fence that overlooks the bay. Ed joins on my other side and for a moment we take it all in. The sun is out and a small breeze picks up and it’s enough to ruffle Eli’s hair, which has been getting longer.

“We should go on a sailboat,” I say wishfully.

“My friend Mikko has one, I’m sure we could at some point.”

I gasp and turn to Edvin. “Are you holding out on me, Ed-man?”

“We’ll get in touch,” Eli says, walking closer to me. He’s been doing that more since we got here. Finding ways to be near me. I expected him to put a mountain of distance between us, but he’sbeen more casual than usual with his affection. I look over my shoulder at him. He’s so close I could kiss him.

Instead, I just look at him. I keep telling myself that I need to stop staring at him all the time, but it’s not easy to peel my eyes away, not when he looks so good in a pair of navy blue shorts and a white button up short sleeve shirt. When he winks and puts on his RayBan sunglasses with a smile, I go a little weak in the knees.

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