Page 56 of Bar Down

TWENTY-FIVE

ASH

We decideto be lazy on the couch and watch a movie, but I can’t concentrate the entire time. Being this close to Eli after so much time apart is messing with my brain. I’m aware of every single movement he makes, my eyes drifting to his face more times than I could count, to the point where I feel like I watched him more than I watched the movie.

We end up saying good night and going to our separate rooms and I might be losing my fucking mind for asking to take things slow, but I really don’t want to mess this up again.

While Eli forgave me, I still feel like I owe him. I need to make it up to him, and if that means being patient and letting him find his stride until he’s ready to make our relationship public, I’m more than happy to wait.

I shoot Robbie and Olivia a text letting them know Eli and I talked last night and that things are going well. Olivia immediately sends back a series of heart emojis in the group chat we have together, but Robbie sends me a private text.

Are you sure you’re fine? Call me if you need to talk.

His message makes me smile. Robbie, always the caretaker of the group. I truly don’t know what I would do without him.

promise I’m good. are you coming up for the red and white game?

I wait for his reply and hope he can make it. The red and white game was always Robbie’s favorite. It’s this training camp tradition where we get assigned to one of the teams and we get to play against players that are normally our teammates. The game has referees but doesn’t follow the normal rules of hockey. There’s no checking and no fighting allowed, just a combination of plays that we practice throughout the entirety of the training camp. In all his years with the Manticores, Robbie was always on the red team. And they always won.

Hoping to, even if it’s just for the day.

cool, can’t wait.

The next morning,I can hear Eli moving around the kitchen, so I grab my clothes and a towel and head out into the hallway. I pass the bathroom and poke my head into the kitchen where I find him making coffee. Eli looks over at me and smiles, one dimple popping in his cheek.

“Morning,” he says in a low, gravely voice.

I grin back helplessly. “Hey there. Are you hungry? I can make something once I get out of the shower.”

Eli shakes his head no and takes a small sip of his black coffee. He grabs the other mug and brings it over to me. I take it with my free hand and sip it and—of course—he made it just right, like always. I sigh contentedly, but my suspicion arises when he says, “I’m actually going out for breakfast.”

“Yeah? By yourself? I can join if you give me five minutes to shower.” I gulp down more coffee and step around Eli to place it on the counter.

“Oh, um—” He hesitates and I turn back to look at him. Does he not want me to go with him? It’s not like I can’t keep my hands to myself in public.

“I’m actually meeting Juuse,” he says, bringing the mug up to his lips. He seems nervous, his fingers are wrapped around the mug, tapping the side of it repeatedly. His eyes dart around my face looking for a reaction. Is he worried I’m jealous?

Am I jealous?

Of course I fucking am.

Stupid Juuse.Eli basically idolizes him, with his charm and perfect face, and the fact he’s also Finnish probably doesn’t hurt. I’m sure Eli could use a break from me and spend some time with a fellow goalie.

“Right. Okay,” I say, not knowing what else to add. “I’ll see you at the arena, I guess.” I don’t mean to sound as miserable and disappointed as I do, but I can’t fucking help it. I want more of his time and attention already.

Chill, Ashton.

I muster a smile and walk by him again towards the hall but Eli stops me with a hand on my bicep. “You seem bothered by it. Why?”

“I’m not, all’s good,” I say.

“Can we be honest with each other from now on? I don’t want you to be upset about something that I don’t even know about. I’d like some open communication going forward.”

I swallow.Well, shit.He’s right, communication hasn’t been our strong suit up until now so maybe being open is better.

“Okay…well, for the sake of honesty, I guess I’m bothered by the fact that last night you said you’d giveusa real chance but said you’re not ready to be out, and this morning you’re going on a date withJuuse.” His name comes out more like a curse, and I realize I’m being kind of petty, but that’s what happens when I’m forced to communicate first thing in the morning. I’m hangry.

Eli’s eyes are wide and he lets out a sound that’s somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. “It’s not a date,hani. We’re just talking about hockey. He’s giving me some pointers and advice, that’s it.”

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