Page 74 of Bar Down

“We can talk about it before you leave. I just want to enjoy our time together for now.”

“Okay,hani.”

When we walk into the Elliots’house, the entire place smells like turkey and herbs. Michael, Robbie’s brother, and his wife Tangela are running around after their two daughters and making sure they don’t eat too much sugar before dinner. Olivia and Alice are on the couch, reading a romance book together and Robbie and his mom are in the kitchen, putting together some delicious looking appetizers. Robbie’s dad is watching the football game and I’m hit by a wave of longing so bad that I stop in my tracks.

This right here is all I’ve ever wanted from my own family. Casual affection and holiday dinners with close family members has never been a part of my life. Not until now. Holidays were always big, fancy parties with all my dad’s business partners and friends. It was always catered meals, suits and ties, and cold shoulders. I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on until Robbie brought me into his family and showed me that I could have more. That I deserve more.

Eli notices I stopped in the hallway and comes back to check on me. His eyes roam all over me, concern showing on his face. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I’m just happy to have found this family.”

His expression softens and he gives me one of his bear hugs, arms completely enveloping me. His dark green sweater is soft against my cheek when I place my head on his shoulder and he rubs his hands all over my back.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Alice yells out from the couch. She places her book down and runs over to hug us. I expect Eli to pull back since everyone’s attention is now focused on us, but instead he grabs my hand and squeezes my fingers. I look up at him and whisperthank youbefore I’m attacked by a tiny blond.

As soon as Robbie’s mom sees me, she gasps and fusses all over me, offering an ice pack and having me lie down on the couch like I’m injured. It makes me wish my own mom was morelike her, but growing up I never really had this level of care and nurturing. Maybe that’s not fair, I’m sure my mom tried, in her own way, to love me, but I was a pretty wild child and eventually I realized that she was always going to pick my dad’s side over mine. So maybe I’m also to blame for our falling out.

“I promise I’m okay. Can I help you with the food or anything?” I ask.

“Nonsense,” she says, “you and Eli relax and catch up, I’m sure you’ve missed each other a lot.”

I nod appreciatively at her and turn back to my boyfriend who takes a seat next to me on the couch. He hands me a hot cocoa and some appetizers and my heart feels like it might explode at any second.

“Thank you,” I manage to say, even though my throat is threatening to close up on me. I still don’t think I deserve this amazing man, but I want to keep him anyway. All of them. This family of mine.

THIRTY-THREE

ELI

Between Thanksgiving dinnerwith the family and Friday brunch with our friends, Ash and I don’t get a lot of time to spend alone. The annual holiday game takes place on Friday night and the whole family has seats to watch them play. It’s weird being on the other side of the plexiglass.

Olivia is reffing the game, so Robbie and Alice sit on either side of me and pepper me with questions about the NHL while we wait for the game to start.

I’ve always thought Ash was a great hockey player, but the way he plays now is out of this world. He’s faster than ever, easily stealing pucks away from the opposing team and getting breakaways. His shots are better too, so much so that by the end of the first period, he’s scored two goals and is on the watch for a hat trick.

“He’s been improving a lot,” I tell Robbie during intermission.

“I think he’s dedicated. He’s always been good, but he sometimes lacks motivation. When he encounters a setback, heretreats back into his shell and thinks he doesn’t deserve good things. It’s bullshit, but I think he’s become more self aware recently.”

“Do you think he’ll stay motivated?”

“I think being with you has opened his eyes more. That there’s a future for him alongside you, not just in the NHL, but in life.”

I nod, not knowing what to say. As much as I want him by my side, always, this job is so fucking unpredictable. One of us could get hurt, we could be traded to different teams. What then? The last thing I want is for him to resent me, or vice-versa.

Robbie picks up on my quiet brooding and as always, he always knows what to say. “I know long distance is hard. Hell, I miss Olive all the time when she’s gone on the road.”

I look over at him and expect to see him sad, but he’s smiling, lost in thought. “But do you know what the best part is?”

“What?”

“At the end of the day, she calls me, excited about her job and happy to tell me all about it. And not only that, but she’s excited to hear about what I’m doing too. The key is to listen to one another. And when we do see each other again, it makes it all that much more special. Because we chose each other and we cherish every moment together, even if those moments are sometimes rare.”

“Do you ever worry about Olivia getting transferred to a different region?”

“Sure I do.”

“So what’s your contingency plan?”

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