Page 8 of Bar Down

Ash nods, his shoulders relaxing just an inch. “I came over to talk to you. I wanted you to be my date to the party,” he says.

Shit. I stop breathing for a moment because his honesty takes me by surprise.

“Why?” I hear myself ask as I grip the door handle tighter.

Ash laughs and shakes his head. He looks at the crack in the door for a moment and we both hear the countdown.

10, 9, 8…

His hand comes up near my head and he shoves the door closed, his body pressing into me.

“Because,” he says, keeping his right hand propped on the door as his left hand lifts up to grab the back of my head and all I see is red hair, freckles, dark blue eyes, and full lips. Everything is still and I hear the muffled noises through the door. “Because I like you,” he whispers and I can feel his warm breath on me.

3, 2, 1…

And then—his lips are on mine, and I freeze. I didn’t expect it. Never in my wildest dreams did I think there was a possibility of him liking me back. Even though my head is telling me this is a bad idea, that he’s drunk and I’m not what he needs, my heart and my body are telling me something very different. Because when Ash’s tongue touches my lips I open up and deepen the kiss.

He tastes like whiskey and cherries and I feel fucking intoxicated. I match the fervor of his kiss touch for touch. When he pulls, I pull harder. When he pushes, I flip him around and back him against the door. His hands move over me frantically like he can’t believe this is happening, like he doesn’t want to let go.I don’t want to either.

I don’t know how much time has passed, but out of nowhere, the door starts to open. Before it can hit Ash in the back, I slam my hand against it and yell out, “Just a moment.” My voice comes out high pitched and panicked.

“Eli, is that you?” Robbie asks from the hallway.

“Yeah, I needed a second to myself,” I say, flustered. Ash’s breath is hot against my cheek as we stand here and I silently beg Robbie to go away.

After a beat, he finally says, “Take your time. I just couldn’t remember leaving the light on in here.” I wait until I hear his footsteps retreating to look at Ash. As soon as I do, his lips are on mine again.

“Wait,” I say halfheartedly. Ash’s lips move to my neck and he starts to lick and suck at my sensitive skin. But I can’t do this. What am I thinking? He’s drunk, and I care too much about him to turn this into a one night stand.

“Just, wait,” I say and gently push him away. His face falls and I already hate myself for taking away the small joy I’ve seen there all night. “I don’t think we should do this. We work together, we’re friends.” I really don’t want to stop this, but I have to. “I care about you Ash, but I don’t think hooking up is a good idea.”

He bites the inside of his cheek and nods, turning around and leaving me alone in the laundry room. I stay behind longer than I need to, thinking of how devastated he looked.

THREE

Eight Months Ago

Eli

Ash got progressively moredrunk as the night went on and he’s now passed out on the couch, a bottle of whiskey dangling from his hand. Once most of the guests leave, I try to wake him up and take him home, but I don’t think that’s an option at this point.

“Just let him spend the night here,” Robbie says, joining me in the living room.

“What if he has to throw up at some point? You want him to do that on your nice carpet?”

Robbie winces and says, “No, but if you take him home he’ll probably throw up all over his bed.”

“I was planning on taking him to my place,” I say and catch the surprise on Robbie’s face. Maybe I’m revealing too much, but I trust Robbie and maybe it's time to be more open with my best friend. “What is it?” I ask.

He hesitates, but then says, “Nothing, that’s just surprising. You two didn’t seem to get along that well tonight. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I sigh, contemplating how much to tell Robbie. “It’s not that we don’t get along. I just don’t like it when he drinks so much. It’s hard to have a serious conversation with him.” I shrug but take a seat on the small patch of couch that’s not covered by Ash’s slumped body. I reach down and take the bottle from him, then move his dangling arm up and lay it over his stomach. He doesn’t stir.

“Can I ask you something personal?” Robbie asks quietly, even though no one else is around to hear. I know what he expects, for me to shut down, but I hold my breath in anticipation and nod.

“Why do you always take care of him?”

I exhale in a rush, relieved he didn’t ask the obvious question.Do you have feelings for him?I clasp my hands so hard they turn white and say, “He’s my friend. I care about all of you.”

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