Page 40 of Delay of Game

“What?” he looks at me, bewildered.

“Why did you wait all day to tell me?” I ask stubbornly, already knowing the answer, but needing him to say it.

“Because,” he groans impatiently, “I had just found out I’m moving thirteen hundred miles away. I needed to process and find a way to—” He stops, biting his cheek.

There it is.

“To what?” I ask, blinking back tears, but not backing down from this challenge. He should have told me sooner, damn it.

“To tell you.”

“And you think that distance matters to me?” I say with a shaky smile, taking a step forward. “It doesn’t. I think we can make this work.”

“Make what work?” he asks, incredulous, pinning me with his dark brown eyes. There’s none of his usual kindness showing now, just pure anger. “Alice, we’re nottogether!”

I instantly recoil, my face falling as I drop my arms from my chest. I try not to let my tears fall but my lip trembles and everything is blurry now anyway.

“Do you mean that?” I ask in a small voice.

Jordan pauses and my heart soars. He’s just angry about the trade, he didn’t mean it, he?—

“Yes.”

His resolute answer feels like a punch in the stomach, and it takes everything in me not to fall to my knees and cry. I fiddle with the sleeves of my cardigan and use it to wipe the tears off my face.

“Then leave,” I manage to say in a steady voice.

“Alice,” he tries to say, taking a step towards me. “This is for the best. Let’s not make this complicated and messy over a crush.”

A crush.

That’s all I am to him. Aftereverything. I’m fucking furious at him for making me fall head over heels in love only to leave me behind.

His expression shutters when he sees my face, hot tears still falling. But I don’t give him a chance to say anything else.

“I said, leave.”

PART 2

IF I GO, I’M GOIN’

CHAPTER 14

Three Years Ago – November

Jordan

For the firsttime in my life, I spend Thanksgiving alone. The walls of my small studio apartment in Austin are bare as I haven’t bothered to decorate or buy any furniture besides the essentials. I’ve lived here for seven months now, and this place still doesn’t feel like my new home.

I hate everything about this place—the sweltering heat, the traffic, the fact that I have no friends. I stab around at the store-bought mashed potatoes and rotisserie chicken on my plate, but I quickly give up on my meal. Nothing tastes the same as the Elliots’ cooking. I even miss Robbie’s focaccia, for fuck’s sake.

I’m sick of the quiet in this apartment and I’m sick of being lonely. I didn’t realize how hard things would get once I moved away. I knew I was putting distance between myself and everyone else, but I figured I’d be okay, that maybe I’d make some friends during the off season. Instead, I joined a team of hotheaded assholes, none of whom have bothered to connectwith me. Training camp was gruesome, but my game has been better than last season, and I even got called up to play for Dallas once so far.

And yet, I don’t feel any sense of fulfillment. Not in my career or my personal life. I just feel … miserable.

Tangela was right, I do regret leaving Grand Marquee in April. I should have stayed and supported my friends as they made it to the Calder Cup playoffs. When I found out they were in the finals, I bought a ticket to the last game and flew into town without telling anyone. It was a fucking amazing game and Ash and Eli crushed it, bringing home the Cup. I should have stayed and told them how proud I was of them.

I should have offered to help Robbie and Alex with the nonprofit they started after Robbie retired and Alex moved back to Grand Marquee. I’m sure they wouldn’t have turned me down. I should have spent more time with my sister and my nieces. And most importantly, I shouldn’t have lied to Alice.

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