Page 41 of Delay of Game

Every time I think about her, I can’t stop seeing the hurt and tears and pain I caused her by brushing us off as nothing but a crush. I didn’t want to say it, but I just couldn’t stand the way she was looking at me. Like she believed in me, like she’d follow me if I asked—like I was worth it.

I wasn’t, and I didn’t deserve her dedication. So I ended it. And I regret that the most. We could have had more time to figure things out. We could have stayed friends.

My phone buzzes with a notification and I open the group chat that I’m still a part of but rarely respond to nowadays.

Robbie

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know Robbie’s message is aimed at me, but I don’t respond. A few minutes later, a picture comes through of thewhole family. Robbie’s parents are standing behind the couch, one holding Katie, the other holding Lory. Both my nieces are smiling brightly and my heart hurts with how much I miss them. Even though Tangela and Michael took a trip here this summer, a week wasn’t enough time to spend with them.

My friends look cozy sitting together on the couch, Ash’s arm around Eli’s shoulder. I zoom in on Ash’s face and wince at the massive black eye he’s sporting. The game last night must have been intense. Next to him, Alice is sitting with her knees pulled up, an open book in her lap. I smile at the sight and take a screenshot of the zoomed in picture of her. She looks so pretty with her hair in a messy bun and wearing a sweatshirt with a pumpkin on it.God, I miss her.

Olivia is seated next to Alice and she’s holding hands with Robbie, who is more preoccupied with watching her than the camera. It can’t be easy for him to be back in Grand Marquee, working on the nonprofit all the time while Olivia is traveling all over the Midwest as a referee. I don’t know how they do it—and look so happy doing it. Tangela and Michael are sitting on the floor, and he has his arms wrapped around her.

I should be there too.

I quickly close the message and look up the next flight to Grand Marquee. It’s twice as expensive as usual and there are two layovers, but it should get me there by tomorrow. It’s impulsive and stupid since I have to be back Sunday for a game, but I miss my family too much.

My duffel bag is packed in record time, and I take a cab to the airport. I text Tangela on the way too, since I’ll need a place to stay for a couple nights.

Jordan

Making a quick trip home. Do you have an extra ticket to tomorrow night’s Manticores game?

Tangela

Yay! I miss you, little brother. Michael is taking the girls to a movie tomorrow so there are spare tickets if you want them.

Jordan

Thanks. Don’t tell anyone yet.

Tangela

You and your secrets…fine.

Alice

Ash wason fire tonight as the Manticores won 4–1. It was strange to sit next to Robbie and Eli at a hockey game—every other time I’ve attended, they were on the ice.

The truth is, I haven’t been to many hockey games since Jordan left. I came to the home playoffs because I wanted to support my boys, but this is my first game of the new season.

With Robbie being retired, and Eli currently being up at the NHL temporarily, Ash is the only one of the group that’s left playing for the Manticores, and he doesn’t actually care if I attend the games or not.

“I’m surprised by your choice in attire,” Eli says as we wait by the players entrance for Ash and Olivia, who was a ref in tonight’s game.

I swallow and look down at my #20 jersey. “I couldn’t find my other ones,” I mumble and cross my arms. Eli doesn’t believe me, but that’s okay. The truth is, ever since I moved into Eli’s apartment as he got called up to Detroit as a backup goalie for two months, I haven’t been able to find my hockey jerseys. I know they’re in a box somewhere, and I destroyed my entire closet trying to find them tonight, but I couldn’t.

The only reason I had Jordan’s is because it was packed separately in my “things that remind me of him” labeled box. The one I try not to open under any circumstances, unless it’s an emergency, like tonight, or when I get a little too wine drunk and cry about him until the early morning.

“What’s going to happen now that Nadison got hurt again?” Robbie asks Eli, bringing up the reason for our friend’s call to the NHL. During training camp two months ago, Nadison suffered a pretty nasty injury, taking him out for six to eight weeks. Lucky for Eli, he was called to step in. When Nadison came back frominjury reserve two days ago, he got hurt again, but no details have been shared.

“Sounds like another six to eight weeks, from what I heard,” Eli says, running a hand over his pale blond stubble. I sigh, feeling bad for Ash. I’m sure he was excited to get his boyfriend back.

“That’s great,” Robbie says. “For you, of course. Sucks for Nadison.”

I chuckle. “Smooth.”

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