Page 45 of Delay of Game

“Oh, shut it. You know you like it,” he says, making one for himself and clinking glasses with me.

Olivia comes over and checks on the pot roast in the oven. The whole place smells incredible and if it weren’t for the giant six foot three elephant in the room, I would actually be excited to hang out with my favorite people. But my stomach flutters and I can feel Jordan’s eyes on the side of my face from where he came over to stand by me.

I just wish Ash could get here already. He always has something random to talk about and would make this awkward silence dissipate.

“When’s Ash coming?” I ask, taking another drink and rubbing the side of my neck, willing Jordan’s gaze to land somewhere else. I feel like he might set me on fire with his looks alone.

“He’s not,” Robbie says, putting on oven mitts to take the food out.

The mimosa tastes bitter all of a sudden. How am I supposed to make it through dinner now?

“Oh, is he okay?” Jordan asks, gripping the counter.

“Yeah, he got called up to play in Detroit tonight. Sorry, I forgot to mention it,” Robbie says, placing the pot roast on a board in the center of the kitchen island, followed by the potatoes and honeyed carrots.

“That’s amazing,” Jordan says, reaching for a beer and pouring it in a glass.

“I’m so excited for him, I can’t wait to see him on TV,” Olivia says, and smiles at me. Our eyes hold for a second and I’m sure she can sense my panic about this being essentially a double date. She takes in a deep breath and lets it out, never taking her eyes off me. I mirror her and do the same, relaxing a bit, knowing she’s got my back.

Out of everyone in our group, Olivia is the only one that knows the full extent of what happened between me and Jordan. Eli and Ash have hinted at knowing bits and pieces, or at least that they assume something happened that week at the cabin, but Robbie has been pretty oblivious.

Dinner is thankfully pretty quiet as we talk about the upcoming holidays and plans. Robbie fills us in on the progress for his nonprofit, Blue Line Brigade, and talks about how grateful he is that Alex and Malia moved back to Grand Marquee last year and that they decided to start the nonprofit.

I briefly mention that teaching is going well still and that my bookish social media account continues to grow. Olivia tells us how excited she is to have her grandma move to Grand Marquee to have the last member of her family closer.

Unsurprisingly, Jordan plans to be in Texas over Christmas and New Years, but he hints at returning over the All Star break when we plan to take a cabin trip.

I take another sip of my drink, trying to erase all thoughts of the cabin from my mind. I haven’t been there since two months ago, when we all went up to visit Ash and Eli at training camp. That was the first time we found out they were in a relationship as we literally caught them kissing in the backyard.

I squeeze my eyes tight, hiding them from view.Stop thinking about that week. Stop thinking about his hands on you.Just stop.

“Al, everything okay?” my brother asks.

“Yep,” I lie. “The mimosas are getting to me, I should go sit on the couch,” I say, standing and moving to the living room, picking Beans up on the way, plopping the chunky little black cat in my lap. He squirms for a moment, but then fully sits down and starts to purr. I give him gentle pets on his fluffy little head and he tips his nose up, mouth open in satisfaction.

I smile and lean back, letting my hands roam over his fur. The couch dips next to me and I square my shoulders. Looking back to the kitchen, I don’t see Robbie or Olivia.

“They went to take the trash out and turn on the Christmas lights,” Jordan supplies, and I nod, deciding that's enough of an answer.

“Can we talk?” he asks after a few minutes of silence.

I debate giving him the silent treatment, but I’m better than that. I can handle this as a mature adult. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Sure there is,” he says, almost pleading. I turn my head, finally looking at him head-on, and find that he’s already watching me, a mixture of regret and sadness in his brown eyes. Whatever—he’s the one who hurtme, he’s the one who left.

I hold his gaze, keeping any emotion off my face. “No, there’s really not.”

He sighs in frustration and a muscle in his jaw ticks. “Al, I’m so?—”

“Don’t,” I snap, spooking the cat, who jumps off my lap and runs to his cat tree. “Can you just keep pretending like nothing happened? It’s what you’ve been doing this whole time, cutting everyone off.”

Jordan winces and shakes his head, “Will you let me apologize, at least? Or explain.”

I tilt my head, pondering it for a second. “No, I don’t think I will. I think you said precisely what you needed to that night andthen your actions and disappearance from our lives spoke the rest.”

“That’s not fair,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

His wish for a heart-to-heart is here a little too late and I’m pissed that he would corner me like this when he clearly could tell I didn’t want anything to do with him. “No, Jordan. You know what’s not fair? It’s not fair that you left me like I wasnothing. I wasn’t even worth a full explanation from you. It’s not fair that you treated me like garbage and didn’t even talk to me about your issues or decisions. I was just an afterthought at the end of the day.

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