Page 50 of Delay of Game

Holy shit.

“Are you serious?” I ask, looking around the table, seeing everyone’s shocked expressions, the shots long forgotten.

Olivia nods and I scream, jumping up and down with joy. I’m going to be an aunt—again!

“Shh,” Robbie shushes me, placing a hand over my mouth. “No one else knows yet.”

I tamp down my excitement and hug my best friend. “I’m so happy for you guys,” I say, crying for the fourth time.

By the timeI’m done dancing, my hair is a sweaty mess, I’m two drinks in, a little tipsy, and having the time of my life celebrating love.

“Love Guru,thank you for this dance,” I say, dropping in a curtsy in front of Ash.

He laughs and picks me up, spinning me around. “Anytime.”

A slow song starts up and everyone finds their partner, ready to sway together. I look towards the table, thinking I can maybe sit down and talk to Jordan, but a hand captures mine and gently pulls me back. I steady myself on his chest and can’t help the smile that shines for Jordan.

“May I have this dance?” he asks, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

I nod and bring both my hands around his neck, letting him lead me throughout the slow melody. His hands are warm as they land on the small of my back where the cutout of my dress is. Jordan’s thumbs sink into the flesh there, and I press myself closer to him. He smells like red wine and a little hint of smoke from the bonfire that was started out back, and I revel in the feeling of having him this close again.

We could have had so many moments like this if he hadn’t broken up with me and moved so quickly. We could have foundhappiness in every text, every call, every conversation, and I don’t understand why he chose solitude. Maybe it’s time to hear him out.

“J, why did you leave so suddenly?” I ask, looking up at his clean-shaven face and twinkling brown eyes.

He blows out a breath and musters up a smile, but I can tell it’s weighed down by regret. “Are you sure you want to know now?”

I swallow and nod, so he continues, pulling me closer and whispering in my ear. “The trade announcement messed with my head. It caught me by surprise, but the truth is, I already knew I wasn’t playing up to my potential. I just expected a talk from my coach, not a trade at the end of the season. I felt like I was letting everyone down and taking the blame for a lot of missed plays. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had nothing to offer you—and that scared me the most.”

“That’s not true, though,” I say, looking up at him again. How could he think that? “All I wanted was you, just as you are.”

Jordan sighs and our steps slow enough so that we’re just standing in the middle of the dance floor. “I was too scared to be in a relationship with you, especially when I knew—” He pauses, biting down on his bottom lip and shaking his head. I want him to tell me everything he’s thinking. I want him to be honest. “I knew that I wasn’t good enough and I was scared that if we did long distance, I would find a way to fuck it up, just like I fucked up my career.”

“J,” I sigh, my heart hurting for him. He’s more than good enough.

“I’m sorry for how I ended things, and I’m sorry for pushing everyone away. I hate it there and I’m so fucking lonely, all the damn time. I miss my family, and I want to come back.”

I nod, slowly trying to tease out his deeper meaning. Perhaps he does still have some lingering feelings for me, but I can tell he’s not in a good place, mentally, to be in a relationship right now. I lean my head on his chest and take a deep breath. “Maybe someday,” I say, low enough that I’m not sure he hears me.

CHAPTER 18

Two Years Ago – September

Jordan

I saw this bookstore today on my drive back from Dallas. It was all pink. I’ll send you a picture.

Alice

OMG, that is adorable. When can I visit so you can buy me all the books?

Jordan

Season is starting soon, but you can sleep on my couch anytime. ;)

Alice

Wow, you won’t even offer up your bed? That’s kind of rude.

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