Page 61 of Delay of Game

I’m not staying at the cabin.

I roll my eyes and think about texting back, but I’m worried that once I do, he’ll find some way to burrow himself back into my life. I’ve got enough to deal with as it is, the last thing I want is to let him in again.

Jordan

Everyone else has gathered herefor a bonfire—Ash and Eli, Robbie and Olivia, even Alex and Malia are here, alongside my sister and Michael. My nieces are already asleep in the basement, and the whole cabin is full. Even though the place is crowded, Alice’s absence is palpable. Or am I the only one feeling it?

“I really like the guy, he’d be a great fit for running the program here,” Alex says, taking a sip of his IPA and adjusting the black baseball cap on his head.

Robbie throws another couple logs in the fire and nods. “I agree, he’s dedicated and seems to genuinely want to give back to the community and help kids.”

“What are we talking about?” Ash asks, carrying a tray of fruit and cheeses, placing it on a table by the cooler.

“Alex and Robbie are enamored. Got themselves a boyfriend,” Malia snickers, making fun of the guys, who have been constantly talking about this new guy—Jason.

“Oh yeah, what’s he like?” I ask.

“Har-har,” Robbie says, sitting in the hammock next to Olivia. “We’ve been talking about expanding the youth program. The community here has always shown up for us at training camp, and it would be a good spot to try a pilot program.”

“Jason’s one of the guys we’ve been interviewing to run the local program, maybe even coaching the kids,” Alex supplies, pulling his wife into his lap. “I think he’s got what it takes, even if he’s a little young at twenty-one.”

“You know who else has got what it takes?” Ash asks, squeezing my shoulders. “This guy. Congrats on your first day as assistant coach, man.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, peeling the label off my beer and avoiding everyone’s eyes.

“You looked amazing out there,” Robbie says, and I lift my gaze to him. He nods and I crack a smile. “It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” I say, and bite back my emotions. I don’t deserve these guys. Not after keeping them in the dark about my injury and reason for retiring. Even though Robbie and I have kept in touch, I couldn’t bring myself to burden him with my sob story. Not when he became a dad and had so much on his plate already. But I promised myself I would be honest from now on, no matter how hard those conversations would be.

“There’s actually something I’ve been meaning to tell you all,” I say, clearing my throat and standing up. Looking around the fire, everyone’s eyes are on me. I catch my sister’s gaze and give her an apologetic smile, knowing I’ve kept her in the dark too.

“I haven’t been entirely upfront with you all about the reason I came back. That injury I got in January, when I was supposed to meet you all at the hospital—well, it wasn’t just a broken leg,” I say, glancing at everyone, catching their confused looks.

“The hit landed me in the hospital for something much worse. I had a fractured hip”—I grimace just thinking about it and how dark and miserable it felt in that lonely hospital room—“and recovery was a bitch, honestly.” I laugh, looking at the sky and blowing out a breath. This is harder to share than I thought.

Ash pats my back and nods at me to keep going, so I do. “It took about five months to recover, but I’m still dealing with a lot of pain. I may need a hip replacement if I want a chance for the pain to go away completely, but even then …” I trail off, looking at my friends.

“Why didn’t you tell us when it happened?” Robbie asks, shock and disappointment written all over his face.

Fuck, I hate seeing that expression aimed at me. “I wasn’t going to ruin one of the greatest nights of your life.”

“Why didn’t you tell us after?” Eli asks, even though I’m sure he knows a lot more than he leads on since Ash was flying to Texas on a regular basis to check on me during my recovery.

I shake my head. Because I was embarrassed, because I didn’t want to be pitied. “Because I didn’t want to be a burden on any of you. You’ve all got your careers and you’re kicking ass?—”

Tangela stands up so quickly that her chair falls backwards. She gives me one tearful look and heads inside the house, Michael trailing after her. I run a hand over my short beard and consider following her to explain myself.

“Does Alice know?” Olivia asks, a contemplative look on her face. When her green eyes meet mine, Iknowthat she knows about my past with Alice.

“No, she doesn’t,” I say, my shoulders dropping. “And I want to tell her myself, if you don’t mind keeping it to yourself a bit longer.”

She purses her lips but gives me a curt nod and I relax.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you guys. But more than that, I should have trusted that you’d all have my back when I needed you.”

Robbie takes a few steps towards me and wraps me up in a big hug. I cling to him tightly and let my tears fall. “From now on, we’ll be honest with one another, all right?” he says, and I nod, relieved. Getting this reaction from Robbie gives me hope that Alice might forgive me too.

“I should go talk to Tangela,” I say, preparing myself for a well-deserved lecture.

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