Page 39 of Speak

The blanket turns so soft. Softer than ever. Like silky strands between my fingertips. My sex is so swollen, hot. The need to orgasm so intense. I pull Damon closer; this dance we’re doing nightly is perfect. His finger wiggles inside of me, not painful but the stretch around him is still enough to feel so good. In my dreams, I always want to ask for more, but before I can, his lips caress my clit, kissing my pussy, licking all around, sucking in my lips, praising me. I want more.Needmore. And he knows just how much to give. I spread my thighs wider and reach for my nipples, only to find he’s already there, twisting and pinching.

We do it together, my inexperienced fingers over his expert ones and my hips rock against his strong, expert tongue.

“Take it, little bird,” he tells me. “Take your pleasure from me.”

My back arches and he laps at me, turning his finger to hit a spot deep inside. Ilove itwhen he does that. My orgasm rips through me, continuing, descending into another one, and he licks it all up, moaning through his praises.

In my dream he licks me until I’m a whimpering mess. It’s safe to make noises here, in my dreams. He climbs up my body, nudging the tip of his cock into me, but Ialwayswant more. Ineedmore. “Not yet, little bird. I need to stretch you out more so you can take all of me, I’m not a small man.”

I reach between us and wrap my hand around his thick, rigid length, and pump in succession with his hips as his tip stays inside of me. He’s right. Even in my dreams I know it would hurt to feel all of him like this. But I want it. Want him. Closer. More.

His lips meet mine, the faint taste of me and the brutal force that is his tongue fucks into my mouth, taking every gasp, every moan and whimper, desire burning through me at the knowledge that in my dreams, I’m his and he is mine and it brings me so much closer to heaven than death ever did.

“Keep going, love. I’m so close. You’re so beautiful.” He dips his head and sucks one of nipples into his mouth, lavishing it, swirling, and biting. “Going to push a little more in but just a little okay? I won’t break you, and even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. You’re mine to break. You’re still perfect to me. Fuck you’re so insanely sexy. I love you like this, a whimpering mess for my cock to fuck you, to ruin you. Just a little more, okay?”

I nod.Yes please, please, more.

There’s a small stretch; I feel a little fuller but it feels amazing.

“Fuck you’re so fucking tight.” He orgasms with a groan inside of me, I can feel him pulsating with each hitch of his breath in my ear. I love it. Love these imaginary moments where I’m with the man of my literal dreams. The man that cared for me and watched over me during my weakest moments.

My dreams are becoming more and more vivid, which I know is adding onto my delusions because it’s so real, too real and surreal. When he’s done, he cleans me up with facial tissues I keep on my nightstand. “Maybe I broke you a little. But not much. You’re only bleeding a little bit. But this belongs to me, you know that don’t you, Raven? Me and only me. Your virginity is mine.”

It’s the next part of my dreams that I adore, because after he cleans me up, he slides into bed with me, and he pulls me half on him, he always tucks the tip of his dick inside of me. I’m not as full of him as I wish to be, but I take what I can get as he pets my hair, praising me all over again in hushed tones. I inhale his scent of cedar and spice and cigar, letting it settle into my bones, my skin, my very essence.

As I fall deeper into sleep, Jonas’ smiling face pops into my head. A thrum of guilt eats at me as I let thoughts of him drift in and out, while I dream I’m sleeping completely naked in another man’s arms…

Chase is right. I should leave Jonas alone.

______

I wake up close to noon, sans clothes, a throbbing between my legs. When I go to the bathroom to relieve myself, there’s a dull ache.When I wipe, there’s just a drop of blood along with what I think is discharge. But the scent is… different.

My brows knit together, and I gnaw on my bottom lip, feeling more confused than ever before. I throw on some panties, my favorite Yo-Yo Ma tee then sweep my room, looking for any discrepancies. Nothing is out of order or out of place. I go to the window, the one I had to latch shut during last night’s storm due to the howling wind... only to find it unlatched.

My blood runs cold, sweat now on my forehead, my hands go clammy as I run a hand through my hair.

How?

I think back to my dreams, think of how Doctor Archer has been in charge of my medication list for the better part of four years… how he himself, put me on birth control because he knew there were sometimesincidentsin the institution. Incidents that sometimes ended up in unwanted and unplanned pregnancies. And since I wouldn’t speak, I probably wouldn’t tell anyone just like I never told the staff or nurses when I would be attacked by other patients.

They never noticed unless I was left bleeding… or they watched the cameras. And the days Archer was there, it seemed orderlies came a lot quicker than usual.

My eye in the sky…

He had me fitted for the arm implant he inserted himself so fucking tenderly, looking longingly into my eyes, numbing my arm, pressing down and rubbing it with his thumb to make the lidocaine spread under the muscle. “You’re doing so good, Raven. I know this is uncomfortable, but it’s for your own good. We won’t have to do this again for another three years.”

But this was impossible. Wasn’t it? He was back at Lorne Wood. I was almost a hundred miles away.

My eye in the sky… I look up at the smoke detector in my room. A shiver shoots through me.

Damon’shere. He has to be. I didn’t make myself bleed… but why hasn’t he shown his face?

Three loud knocks take me from thoughts, I blink rapidly.

Jonas.

Brunch.

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