Page 58 of Speak

No light.

No sound.

Just the cold, black water, a void, accepting me as its own.

I told you, I never trusted Raven Monroe.

Chapter Fifteen

Raven.

He's anathlete. I thought he would have better lungs, more of a fight but I suppose all that fentanyl that I slipped into his beer has something to with how quickly he accepted his fate.

That fucking melody builds to a beautiful crescendo as though I’m sitting in the middle of the front row at an orchestra right as he goes limp, body no longer twitching.

I slowly release him and pull myself up back on the dock, throw my clothes back on, and sit there, until his body floats toward me. I kick it away with a toe.

I sneak back into my dorm, avoiding all of the cameras by staying in the shadows, showering off the pond water. Sure enough, there are small finger-size bruises on my hips and thighs. I touch and then press into them, reliving the moment he stopped struggling and then his hands let go of me, of when his mouth went slack against my sex and my thighs released him.

Even with the adrenaline, this wasn’t like those Professor Harrington teaches. I had no sexual motive. It didn’t get me off.

I rinse off, dry myself, shove my dirty wet clothes into my washer, and then grab my oversized Def Leppard T-shirt, slip a thong over my thighs, and settle it onto my hips.

I go to the mirror, part my lips and practice making a face of horror, one with wide eyes and a silent, echoless shriek. I practicepanting as though I’m hyperventilating and lastly, before finally letting myself fall into a restful night of sleep, I practice willing tears into my eyes. The big fat ones. The ones that say,“I’m just as sad and torn apart about this shocking death like the rest of the alumni. Here. At Rayne-Moore University. So tragic. He was so young. Such a bright future. I’m so… so… sad.”

I’m about to give the performance of my lifetime.

_____

I’m running back to campus, legs pumping, muscles burning, I go to the place I know I’ll find him. I fling open the doors to the dorms, run up the stairs, find room 627 and pound on the door. Hard.

Jonas opens the door wearing nothing but boxers, rubbing his eyes and I grab his hand, tugging him out into the hallway. “Fuck, Raven, hold on. What’s wrong? I gotta put some pants on. Give me a second.” He tugs on some jeans and a shirt off the floor.

I make a motion for him to bring his phone by holding my fingers to my ear.

“My phone’s in my pants.” He replies in an annoyed huff.

I’ve never been inside of his dorm room and as much as I want to get to know his space, this isn’t the right time. Once his shoes are on, I’m tugging him outside, frantically. We’re out of the dorms in record time. Being that it’s Saturday morning now, all the students are either off campus or sleeping off a hangover after last night’s party. I take off running.

“Raven, wait! Fuck, it’s too early for this.” I can hear his footsteps after me as I sprint into the woods. I halt at the edge of the dock, where my cello and a fold-up chair wait, all part of the set up. Just a girl, coming to the pond to play her cello. I point at the floating body, tears streaming down my face, chest heaving.

“Oh, my fucking god, CHASE!”

Chase is lying face up, blue eyes greyed over staring at the grey sky, bloated, dead.

Jonas screams and then bends over, vomit spewing out of his mouth, agonizing screams in between. Tears spill over his eyes; he grabs at his chestnut hair and then he wipes at his mouth. “Chase.” He breathes.

I make the same motion for him to use his phone to call the police.

He dials. “I’d like to report a drowning. Yeah, it’s… Rayne-Moore University Campus… At the pond… no, he’s not breathing… I’m not putting my mouth on him; I’m telling you he’s dead! Yeah… Chase Prescott. P-R-E-S-C-O-T-T.” he spells out. “Yeah, I’ll be here… Oh my god… Chase… What the fuck?”

When Jonas hangs up, he reaches for me and pulls me close. The faint smell of puke in the air and on his breath but I don’t care. He’s touching me. The warmth of him against me feels so good. It feels perfect. He pulls away, putting his hands on either side of my face. He looks into my eyes, and it feels as though everything is perfect even if there’s a corpse floating beside us.

“Raven… Raven, fuck. Fuck I’m so sorry you had to find him like this.”

I will more tears out of my eyes and I shake my head, pulling him back to me. I need him. I need him so much. I love him. I’m out of my mind. I’m sick. Purely mad. He rests his chin on the top of my head, his chest caving with each shuddering breath.

_______

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