Page 21 of My Boss

“What are you talking about?”

“The sales department managed to get a last-minute invitation to a banquet in Szczyrk. The President of Traper, a company whose business we have been trying to win for over two years, will be there. This is an excellent opportunity to speak with him semi-formally. I want you to come with me.”

He wants. He wants! What an egotist!

“I’m not working today. It’s my day off.”

“And I have the right to call you to work on Saturday, which is what I am doing now.”

I clench my teeth.

“And I already have plans for today.”

“Change them.”

Insolent nincompoop.

“With all due respect, but… ‘Screw you, Jan!’” is already on the tip of my tongue, but I restrain myself just in time. I need the job and the money. I can’t give him grounds for termination, which doesn’t mean I’m not going to exercise my labor rights. “You have a shitload of employees straight from the Pecker Headhunting and Partners, so what do you need me for?”

Jan frowns.

“From where?”

From the shithouse, you moron.

“From the Pecker Headhunting and Partners.”

“What is Pecker Headhunting and Partners?”

Oh, mother.

“Never mind.” I pass him, open the door and enter the stairwell.

“Where are you going?” Jan follows me.

“To the old-fashioned luncheonette.”

“Where?”

I roll my eyes. Jan’s sense of humor is like snow on the Equator; not once recorded since the last glaciation.

“I’m going to change. What about you?”

“I need data from the server.”

“Then you are in the wrong building.”

“This is where you live. Is that right?”

“I’m just visiting a friend.”

“This is the address in your file. Am I to understand that you gave someone else’s address to HR?”

Jesus save me. I don’t have the stamina for this anymore. Does he have some kind of defect? He doesn’t recognize irony at all, can’t tease, doesn’t understand metaphors, jokes, not to mention reading facial expressions and sarcastic tone. He takes everything too seriously. Interpersonal communication level at minus one hundred on a scale of zero to ten.

“It was a joke.”

“So you do live here.”

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