Page 3 of My Boss

“The company has an active health promotion policy,” explains Olga. “Anyway, you’ll see for yourself when you get the monthly newsletter. Healthy nutrition, active lifestyle, free from addictions, et cetera. You understand a healthy employee is a less expensive employee. If you want to grab a quick smoke, do it best in back of the building so that no one can see you.”

Just perfect.

The next few days are like a cold shower. I stay at work until seven, eight, and nine in the evening. I analyze overdue reports and statements and draft a plan for the upcoming weeks. In a word, I’m slogging, and I’m so exhausted that I don’t know who I am anymore.

My contact with my boss is limited to exchanging a few business-like utterances. We mostly communicate via e-mail because that’s what Jan wants. Occasionally he mumbles something under his breath as he walks past my desk, spreading the scent of his expensive cologne. I wonder if he doesn’t happen to have some problems with his speech box.

“Please don’t use emoticons in e-mails,” he grunts rudely, passing my station. He doesn’t even, damn him, stop and look in my direction.

Pompous jerk.

You say emojis, you halfwit. They are cute and sweet and should be called emojis, not EMOTICONS!

“Do you have any specific ones in mind?” I call out after him.

“All of them. Concentrate on the content. Emoticons knock you out of the rhythm, and I have no desire to read such messages.”

And I feel like knocking your teeth out, how about that? Then at least you’ll have a really serious reason not to smile, you fucking stuffed shirt.

I glance at the e-mail I was just about to send him.

To:Jan Engler

Subject:Report for Unirem

Good morning! :)

Attached, please find the report. I managed to finish it before the deadline, although I’ll admit that the analysis of the profitability of their new acoustic beacon investment has fried my brain and I think I’ll have to take a day off :P ;)

The topic is of little interest to me, but profitable for the customer. My analysis and preliminary data indicate that the innovative solution for low-power consumption, dust and water resistance of ecoLEDs, although costly, is cost-effective and highly competitive. I estimate the projected return on investment at one year and two months :D More information in the report itself.

Have a nice day :)

Maria

I sigh, delete all the smileys, rephrase the message and remove the final ‘have a nice day’. I don’t wish him a nice day at all. I wish that he gets diarrhea and expels the broomstick that’s obviously pushing from the inside against his anus. I don’t know why I thought that perhaps the relaxed tone of the message would bring some friendliness to my correspondence with Jan.

I was wrong. As of today, I’m not going to try to be nice to him anymore.

To:Jan Engler

Subject:Report for Unirem

You will find the report attached. I completed it ahead of schedule. The analysis and preliminary data indicate that the innovative solution for low-power consumption, dust resistance and water resistance of eco-LEDs, although costly, is cost-effective and highly competitive. I estimate the projected return on investment at one year and two months. For more information, see the report itself.

I plan to take the day off tomorrow.

Maria

I send the e-mail and get ready for a smoke. I decide that from now on, I’ll match Jan’s aloofness toward me. He’s my boss, I don’t need to have a warm relationship with him. I’m content with Olga and Agata, with whom I have enjoyable coffee conversations, as well as the people I spend cigarette breaks with.

I grab my jacket from the hanger, take the elevator down to the first floor and step outside. A gust of wind gives me goosebumps. At least it’s not snowing.

I go behind the elevator to hide from the cold and surveillance cameras, and see that the regular smokers are already there: Monika, Tom and…

Well, well, well, lookee here, and who is that? Quite a good-looking guy. I’m seeing him for the first time and I have to admit that he’s quite easy on the eyes. My type. Dark blond hair, lumberjack-like beard, cheerful amber eyes, a wide playful smile, worn-out jeans, leather jacket. He radiates positive energy, which I love in people, especially guys. The total opposite of Jan, who with his stiffness could even embarrass a corpse.

Jeez, why am I even thinking about him? After all, I’m on a break!

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