Page 41 of My Boss

“And why are you unsuitable?” Again, no eye contact.

“I’m not feeling the numbers, although I’m good at counting. Besides… Hmm, how should I put it? I get the impression that you are anything but fond of me.”

Gray-blue eyes hover from above the monitor, looking at me icily until I get cold for real.

“You got the wrong impression. Please stop analyzing, just unpack your things on your new desk and start working.” His gaze returns to the computer.

“So…? What is your decision?” I don’t know why I’m asking, when I can guess what his answer will be.

“You will stay in my department. I have just sent an e-mail to your inbox with a client statement. The deadline is 5 p.m.”

And so much for my brilliant idea of moving to another department. Jan is a nincompoop. But at least I have a job and a new workstation where I won’t be alternately sweating and freezing on the same day. Somehow I will survive. It is good. One can even say it’s very good.

God, what a relief that I won’t be unemployed.

I just have to put up with Jan somehow, these moods of his, his changing attitude, his grumpiness, his anti-socialness and his high demands. But only until February (that’s according to my calculations). Only eight more months of corporate office work and I’m starting my own company: ‘Maria Gabara—Furniture Restoration’.

After moving to a new desk, nothing actually changes in my relationship with Jan. Well, except maybe that he now speaks to me not twice, but three times a day. In one e-mail, in response to a calculation table I spent a whole week working on, he even wrote, “Good job.” After the period there was a colon, followed by a closed parenthesis—that is, a smiley face!

Who puts an emoji after a period? JAN.

I almost smiled and believed that my relationship with him might finally take on a human dimension. But that was the one and only time; it never happened again. Maybe I responded unnecessarily and too enthusiastically to his e-mail at the time: “Thank you! You made my day with that smile ;). You don’t realize how happy I am that you appreciate my work:* :D <3.”

Okay, I may have exaggerated with the kiss and heart, but knowing Jan, he probably didn’t even catch that it was a heart emoji and wondered why the heck D was less than three.

We don’t mention either the phone call, in which Arti tried to seduce him, or the nudes I sent him, or my notice which he tore up in front of me the same day he caught me in his office.

Weeks pass, and day after day an eager and dutiful ‘corpo-rat’, I work bravely at my desk, hammering away on overtime, drinking coffee in the lounge, and smoking cigarettes on my breaks, which happen more and more often.

My life after work is practically limited to refinishing furniture. Because, first of all, my relationship with Karol endedthe moment I realized that he cared more about playingCall of Dutythan about me. Secondly, as it turned out, with the selling of the wing armchair, I gained a regular customer, and in the last few months I have sold him all the furniture I managed to get for next to nothing and transformed into real beauties. TS has bought from me an early communist-era commode with yellow ornaments, a Louis-style dressing table, a baroque footstool and an art deco standing lamp.

I suspect the guy is a wacko and his house resembles a pawn shop. But let him decorate it in his own way. Since he buys and pays, I wholeheartedly support his ‘kitsch’ eclecticism. Especially since thanks to him—in addition to a boost of cash—I gained the gratitude of my friend. And that’s because one evening, when Tadeo was picking up the dresser, Nina dropped by for an unannounced visit. She saw Tadeo, he saw her, and they were both struck by cupid’s arrow. Seriously, they fell in love at first sight. I would never have predicted this in my life. They are total opposites, they come from completely different worlds: she an anesthesiologist who makes the bucks, emotional and hyperactive; he an ex-convict, barely making ends meet, an ocean of calm. Well, except maybe for the moment when he almost killed that dude who hurt his sister. But the bastard got what was coming to him, didn’t he? Too bad Tadeo didn’t cut his dick off. I demand castration for rapists!

Nina is head over heels in love. Love to the death. Tosia too is also head over heels in love with her baby son. She gave birth and flipped out. There are times when she babbles like crazy.

“Look at this lovely poop my little boy did today. Marvelous scrambled eggs.”

Christ, I’ll never touch scrambled eggs again.

“Sure.”

“And did you know that he smiled at me three times today? He is such a cheerful child,” she says at a time when the young family scion is piercing my eardrums with his shrieks.

“Sure.”

Gosh, he shouldn’t tense up so much, or he’ll pop a vein in his head.

“Don’t look at him like that. He’s just hungry.” Tosia admonishes me reproachfully as if she thinks I might kill her firstborn with my gaze. “I’ll feed him, and you go for a smoke in the garden.” She takes the little one in her arms and that’s when I notice two big wet spots over her nipples.

What is it?

“Tosia, your boobs…”

She looks down.

“The breast pads got soaked. This is nothing.”

“Nothing? You look like you’re bleeding plasma. Is that normal?”

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