Page 90 of My Boss

“And then?”

“I have dinner.”

“And after?

“I read a book.”

“And then?”

“I go to bed.”

Right. Apparently, Jan already has a whole day planned and there’s no room in it for me.

“And do you ever modify this schedule of yours?” I ask with a clear suggestion in my voice.

“Absolutely not. You should not change the established order. Unless there is an emergency situation.”

I have a lump in my throat. Well, yes. And I foolishly thought he was serious about that cabin in the mountains and spending Christmas together.

I stand up, look at him, but he totally ignores me.

“In that case, I won’t disturb you.” I walk to the door.

“If you are hungry, please help yourself to anything in the refrigerator.” He does not raise his eyes at me.

What a fucking asshole. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach. Not that I’m hoping for some morning kiss or breakfast together. But, for fuck’s sake, he could at least look me in the eye when talking to me. Is this damn watch really more important than me?

God, how naive I am. I am totally not needed here.

*

As soon as I leave the apartment building, I’m greeted by snow up to my ankles. Everything is still. And it’s dark, though cloudless. You can already see a translucent sky behind the apartment buildings. It must be as cold as in Siberia. I’m shivering all over, and it’s not surprising since I’m only wearing boots, a skirt, a bra, and a jacket. I decided to leave Jan his shirt.I rolled it up into a ball and threw it in the laundry basket in the bathroom. Nevertheless, I can still smell his scent on me. I don’t know if it’s from the shirt or from the fact that we rubbed against each other during our awesome sex. I need to take a shower as soon as possible. But first I’ll have to eat something.

I take out my phone and track down the nearest 24-hour McDonald’s (because I have absolutely no food at home).

Oh my, what a festive breakfast. McWrap, large fries, strawberry shake, ice cream with caramel topping, coffee and the whole restaurant at my disposal. I’m the only customer! Christmas music seeps quietly from the speakers, I look out the window at the snowy city and eat my favorite fast food dish. Only, I feel no taste in my mouth. I’ve got a lump in my throat and my stomach is full of knots. OK, that’s enough. I can’t eat anything else.

I pack everything in a doggie bag, take the coffee and reach for my cell phone to order a cab. Battery’s dead. Damn. Tough, maybe it’s for the best. I walk back home. I’ll finally smoke a cigarette. Or two. Maybe the wind and cold will dispel my worries.

Not that I’m somehow particularly depressed, but I don’t feel good either. If I had to describe my mood, I’d call it ‘depresso-fuck’. I’m half sad and half pissed off. And definitely severely sleep-deprived.

The first thing I’ll do when I get home is take a hot shower. Then I’ll lie down on my bed, turn onThe Holiday, and then fall asleep to Jude Law’s soothing British accent. This is the kind of guy I dream about. So different from the gloomy boor of my boss. Also, why did I get it into my stupid head to sleep with him? And three times! Or maybe four? At the mere thought of what we did in the office and later in his bed, I want to howl with frustration. I have total chaos going on in my head. Because, on the one hand, we had such a good time, and on the other,Jan pissed on me afterward—not literally, of course; we didn’t go that far. I like sexual games, but that is definitely not one of them.

Hmm, I wonder how perverse Jan can be? Does he get turned on by such things? The fact that he loves oral and anal I already know. How far would he like to go with me?

I recall abruptly how I sat on him in the elevator, and he filled me from behind with his hard cock. That was so hot! Damn! It’s a shame that he turned out to be such an insensitive stuck-up snob after all… But what did I expect? That he would suddenly turn from the gruff Jan Engler, CFO of a damn corporation, into the noble knight on a white horse who would worship his Maria to the end of his days? Evidently, something damaged my brain yesterday.

“Why don’t you answer the phone?” A male voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

I glance toward my building. My heartbeat accelerates.

Jan is standing leaning against the car, just like when he came to pick me up to take me on a business trip.

Except that now, he is not dressed in a suit. A gray turtleneck, dark blue jeans, and beige boots stick out from under his winter coat. He looks awesome.

So what? He’s a despicable asshole and I don’t give a damn about him.

“You are standing in a no parking zone.”

---