Page 96 of My Boss

“I’m sorry you had to listen to that.”

“Don’t apologize. It was an interesting experience. Your mental state is appealing.”

“Are you attracted to my… mental state?” I look at him like he’s crazy.

“Indeed. I have never met a person who is so highly developed in terms of logical-mathematical, verbal, interpersonal and emotional intelligence at the same time.”

Oh shit, I guess that was a compliment.

“I thought you were primarily attracted to my ass.”

“Undeniably, you have a great ass. However, from a pragmatic point of view, your other qualities have a more stimulating effect on me.”

“Like?”

“You do not wear jewelry. You don’t use strong makeup or beautify yourself with fake eyelashes and nails. You are natural.”

“And that turns you on?”

“This shows that you are not vain and do not pretend to be someone you are not.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about vanity.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to keep talking.” I smile. “What else turns you on about me?”

“You are punctual, which means you also respect my time,” he continues. “Your friend is gay, which shows your tolerance toward individuality that is not necessarily accepted by society. You are not discouraged by directness, which also suits me, given that subtlety is not my leading asset. You are energetic, open-minded, and lively, which makes you a sexually attractive partner, although this can be quite an obstacle in our relationship, given my aversion to spontaneity.”

“Your behavior yesterday at the office and today’s trip were spontaneous.”

“They would have been spontaneous if I had not been planning them for six months.”

“I see.”

I feel a pleasant warmth spreading from my stomach all the way to my heart. And this is quite a surprise to me because I didn’t think that someone like Jan would be able to evoke such feelings in me. I’ve never dated this type of man. I have always steered clear of grumps, withdrawn individuals, stiff, formal types. I am drawn to those ‘cool guys’ who, with a frivolous smile, flirt with you at the first meeting and charm you with effortless ease, often verging on nonchalance. I like to mingle with open-minded, chatty, funny and laid-back people. I seek to feel exceptional, validated and important just being next to someone like that. But it is Jan, who I hated and considered a social loser, who has made me feel really special. I regarded him as the type who only thinks about himself, while he’d been studying me for the past twelve months so keenly and imperceptibly that he noticed qualities in me that none of my previous boyfriends knew existed.

God, how sweet, kind, loving and appreciative…

I stare at Jan, feeling my heart melt. His gaze is focused on the road, his profile as sharp as ever, restrained. He sits up straight, and holds the steering wheel at ‘3 o’clock and 9 o’clock’.(How come his hands haven’t gotten tired from this textbook position?) The speedometer doesn’t move past eighty-five miles per hour, the maximum speed allowed on the highway. With such a car, he could easily floor it to one hundred and twenty. But Jan the ‘Risk-Taker’ won’t, of course; he’s had more than enough crazy on this trip, which he planned for only six months! He is a very peculiar specimen.

I consume him with my eyes, admiring his killer look in that turtleneck that accentuates his sculpted physique. I’m reminded of how his muscles flexed under his bare skin as we were doing ‘it’ in the office, at his apartment, at my place in the shower. I hear his words in my head: “You are mine,” “you are beautiful,” “you are so damn sexy…” I recall the watch he gave me; all the furniture he bought from me; the overtime I was paid for…

My heart beats faster and faster, my stomach clenches into a knot, I feel a tingling sensation that spreads from my thighs, up into my chest and suffuses my face with heat. My palms start to sweat, and I know perfectly well why. Holy shit, I fell for Jan!

“Stop,” I say in a choked voice.

“We can’t stop. We are on the highway.”

“There is a rest area there.” I point to the emergency exit. “Get off the road.”

“This is not a parking space.”

“I don’t give a damn. Get the hell off the highway!”

Jan glances at me. I must look strange because he turns on his turn signal, pulls over and parks with the car almost touching the emergency gate.

I grab my purse, jump out of the car like a cat on a hot tin roof, pull out a pack of ciggies, a lighter…

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