Page 38 of Kingdom of Embers and Ruin

“Your parents told you your fate?” He asked, his voice laced with anger and disbelief.

Maude kept her back straight and closed her eyes for a moment, scolding herself for letting that detail of her past slip. It was forbidden to tell your child of their fate for the very reasons Herrick had explained. Maude had always been resentful that her fate had been revealed to her; she had been trying to outrun it ever since the last fight she’d had with her father.

Shutting down the emotions that were rising to the surface, Maude said, “Forget I mentioned anything.”

“Maude—”

“I said let it go, Herrick.”

With that, she squeezed her knees around the horse so they started moving again. Sensing that she needed to be quiet for a time, Herrick did not push the subject. Maude focused on forcing her emotions down again so hergalderdidn’t explode out of her before they made it back to the group.

“Is your fate so horrible that you would keep running from it rather than make the best of it?” Herrick asked so quietly she knew only she had heard him.

Maude was silent for a long time before she answered.

“Yes.”

It had been torture to ride with Maude in front of him for so long, especially after the moment they had shared when she had lost her temper. To feel her soft curves up against him, to be wrapped in her bonfire-smoking cedar scent, and to be aware of every breath she took had driven him to the brink of absolute madness.

Herrick knew how to get under anyone’s skin; he could irritate anyone into agreeing with him or fighting him. When they had fought before heading out for the night, he had seen a side of her that had proven to him how much she struggled. She wouldn’t allow him to see her in any weakened state for long, though, stubborn as she was.

Maude vexed him in a way that not even Hakon could compete with; she knew how to hit every nerve he had, how to beso contrary that he could only grow more frustrated. He had such limited patience with her when she fought with him, but the more they argued, the more he realized he enjoyed it. Maude had burrowed under his flesh and latched herself on to him without even knowing it.

She was an angry, frustrating, and difficult person to be around most of the time, which probably made it easier for her to keep people at arm’s length. It was clear that her past haunted her, shaping her into the distrustful person she was.

When Maude wasn't paying attention, however, he could also see she was kind and funny, that she had a good heart, and someone had tried to tear her down for it. He couldn’t just offer these observations to her either because she had a temper that could rival his own sometimes. He enjoyed having his balls where they were: attached to his body.

Herrick was certain, deep in his soul, that she would let down her barriers with him. Maude was stubborn, but so was he. He couldn’t explain why he had this inflexible need for her to know that he saw through her veil of indifference to the world around her. He needed her to know that he could see her clearly for who she was.

Their small party had traveled through most of the night without any problems. A fewtrollenhad made themselves known, but Maude was able to spit some fireballs at them. Her use of her fire had seemed to improve now that they were out of the city and no longer had to hide from the soldiers, but she had bottomed herself out pretty spectacularly when they fought.

Gunnar worked with Maude a bit on controlling her emotions when they had stopped to rest the horses that morning, going through breathing exercises with her to hone her feelings into a knife she could control. Herrick knew he had promised to help her, but after being so close to her for that long ride, he was having a hard time controlling his passions.

“When you feel you are losing control of your hold on your emotions, try to ground yourself by thinking of five things you can see, four things you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, and one emotion. This technique will center you and give you a grasp on whatever you're feeling that is overpowering you,” Gunnar explained to Maude as they sat across from each other in the sand, hands on their knees, palms to the sky.

Maude closed her eyes, breathed a few times, and slowly relaxed. Her fire flickered in her hands, and a strong breeze blew through their small party, which stoked her fire even more. Maude made the fire in her hands begin to float above her head, breaking the flame into four smaller flames that braided within themselves and then reconnected to create a circlet that she then placed on her head. The flames flickered as they rested on the crown of her head.

Herrick felt a wave of delight wash through him as she opened her eyes and grinned at her work. Her smile made his heart stutter, the sight of her joy causing some unknown emotion to flare within him.

“That technique will help you hone your anxiety and force you to be present,” Gunnar continued, nodding his head with approval. “This will give you better control over your fire.”

“Won’t it take too long if I’m in the middle of a fight to point all those things out?” Maude asked as she flicked her fingers, the circlet lifting from her head and the flames burning out into smoke.

“The longer you do it, the easier it’ll become. Keep practicing it when you feel your emotions start to slip or when you feel yourself becoming angry.”

Maude nodded and stood to stretch, leaning to one side and pulling her arms above her head. Her shirt pulled from her waistband, revealing a sliver of her tanned skin and black lines from the tattoo on her ribs. Herrick’s fingers twitched like they wanted to run over the smooth band of flesh.

“Well, I know from my exercises that we all need a wash soon. How far from Dagsbrun are we?” Maude asked as she leaned to her other side, her shirt covering the exposed skin once again.

“We are a few hours from the most southern point of the Bone Chasm; we should be seeing it soon, and then we are about a day's travel from Dagsbrun. The bulk of this trip will be through the Dead Waste so we need to sleep for a few hours once we get to the Chasm before we continue,” Hakon responded. He was going through the supplies we had brought with us to make sure that they had enough to make it to the town.

Herrick, who was lost in his thoughts and unable to find the words needed to participate in the conversation until now, said, “We should leave soon; we can rest later.”

Liv and Eydis were going over self-defense tactics with the dagger Maude had given her before they had left Engate, while the rest of them readied the horses for the last leg of their journey before they rested a few hours. Maude broke off from where she had been speaking with Gunnar and made her way to where Eydis and Liv were practicing. Herrick watched Liv stiffen and then incline her head to Eydis before heading to ready her horse.

Maude sighed as she watched Liv walk away from them before she started speaking with Eydis. At her prompting, Eydis went through the few motions Liv had explained to her to show Maude her progress.

When she had finished, to Herrick’s surprise, Maude began correcting some of Eydis’s movements with a gentleness that he had not seen before. Eydis blew out a breath of exasperation when she couldn't nail a movement, and Maude chuckled a bit before going over it again, the sound drifting to Herrick on a stray breeze and wrapping around him.

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