Page 65 of Kingdom of Embers and Ruin

Liv told them about her adventures before she decided to stick with the Kolbeck brothers and make a home here. She had traveled from village to village working as a mercenary or guard, depending on who needed what. In the desert outside of Logi, she had fought and slain asighogg, a sand dragon that dwelled beneath the sands and attacked travelers.

Eydis had been enraptured by Liv’s stories, while Maude had become slightly envious. Maude had wanted to do so much, and when she ran away, she thought she’d get the chance to do the many things she’d dreamed of. Of course, after Brastone, she never ventured further than Logi.

As the conversation drifted to Maude, Eydis seemed to be unable to refrain from asking Maude about being the Heir of Flame any longer.

At first, Maude had been stiff when speaking about her life, but as she moved away from stories of her training, she began to relax a bit. She told them of her sister and how she had always been so gentle and funny in her youth; she told them of her favorite place to sit and watch the sunrise over the east and how she always had a burning need to sit and look out toward the unknown kingdom that ruled over oceans and life.

She avoided speaking about her mother, the truth about her that Maude had not yet accepted. Liv had given her a curious look when she had breezed over the mention of her mother, having been present when the Queen had revealed her identity and her mother's. Thankfully, she did not push the topic, though. Maude had spent so long in hiding that she had forgotten what it was like to be herself. She felt as if she was learning about herself the more she spoke with these women.

Eventually, they reached Veter, and the conversation stopped being about Maude, to her great relief. Liv had been explaining the layout of thecity, but Maude had stopped listening. Unable to do anything more than take in her surroundings, Maude walked on in silence next to Liv and Eydis, who continued chatting.

The buildings were taller than they looked when she had viewed them from the palace. The white of the stone was bright in the sunlight, making Maude squint a bit. The air around them had a spicy floral scent that mixed pleasantly with the smells of the bakeries and shops they passed housing spices, butcher shops, clothing stores, and jewelry stands. Maude had started to feel comfortable enough amongst the friendly citizens of Veter, so she pulled her hood down, allowing her hair to shine brilliantly in the sunlight.

“Maude, you really should leave your hood down more. You shouldn’t be ashamed over the scar you bear; it shows you have fought for the life you live now,” Eydis said to Maude, surprising her with her words.

“I didn’t have much of an option when I was in Logi, so I guess I’m just used to it now,” Maude said, ignoring the comment about her horrific scar.

“We all bear scars, Maude,” Eydis said as she bent to smell the flowers that a vendor had placed out for purchase. “Some are invisible, and some are shown on the skin, but the history behind them is something we shouldn’t hide. We should embrace every part of us that has made it to this day.”

Maude didn’t know how to answer her optimism. The scar on her face had been part of the event that had made her finally leave her life behind. There was too much to unpack at that moment when her life had been changed. Liv had drifted further ahead of them through the bustling market. Maude thought about what Liv had told her about her history.

There is freedom in letting go of your guilt and forgiving yourself when you’re ready.

Maude didn’t think she could ever forgive herself for what happened that day. The scar on her face reminded her of that. She didn’twantto forgive herself. She didn’t want to forget.

But instead of saying that, Maude replied, “You’re in a much better emotional state than I have ever been, Eydis.”

Eydis gave her an uncertain smile but dropped the subject as Liv circled back to them, hands filled with buns from the bakery down the road. They had been twisted into knots with cinnamon, sugar, and cardamom blended into the dough in long stripes and then topped with large granules of sugar pearls.

Liv handed one to both of them and ripped into hers before she could explain what it was. Eydis sniffed at the warm pastry suspiciously before taking a bite. She widened her eyes and motioned for Maude to try hers.

Maude bit into hers and was surprised by how much she enjoyed the bun. The slightly sweet taste of the thick bread instantly tasted like home to her. The mix of the cardamom and sugar teased a long-forgotten memory from her childhood.

“Shhh, girls. We’re not supposed to be here; you need to be quiet,” Mama said to them.

Maude and Bryn had been jittering with excitement ever since Mama had woken them late at night to bake together. She had tried to be mature about the adventure they were going on since Maude had just had her seventh birthday. She felt like a grown-up after her father had gifted her her first bow and quiver.

She wanted to start using it immediately, but Papa had told her that she was old enough to begin her training, which meant she needed to be patientuntil tomorrow. Now that they were sneaking in the middle of the night, Maude didn’t feel so old anymore and had gotten more excited the longer they crept through the empty halls.

Bryn was five and had been struggling to keep up with Maude’s pace as they walked through the dark halls of their home. Eventually, Maude bent to pick up Bryn so they could keep up with Mama’s long strides. In the dark, Mama’s hair was the color of the wine she drank every night at supper. Their little secret group turned the corner, and they entered the kitchens.

Mama told them to sit at the long table while she lit the burners in the hearth. She blew onto the cold wood, and Maude saw golden embers flow from her breath, lighting the fire. Maude and Bryn looked at her in awe; she wanted to be just like Mama when she grew up.

They watched as Mama busied herself with preparing the ingredients they would need to bake this sweet bread that she had told Maude about. Bryn was starting to doze at the table, but Mama came and picked her up and twirled her around the kitchen a bit to wake her.

They both laughed, and Maude watched them make fools of themselves for a bit before she decided to jump in and dance with them. After they were all having fits of giggles, they finally moved to the ingredients Mama had laid out. They worked quickly, sprinkling cinnamon, sugar, and cardamom onto the long sheet of dough they had rolled out together before they rolled it up again, creating the sweet lines in the bread.

They divided the dough into tiny buns and twisted them like the braids they wore in their hair. They placed the sheet holding the buns into the now steady-burning hearth to bake. Mama sat Bryn on her hip and hummed a song as she cleaned up behind them, leaving no trace that they were there.

“Mama, why did we have to come here in the middle of the night?” Maude had asked her.

“Because, my light,we aren’t supposed to be baking in the kitchens. Papa wouldn’t like it,” she said quietly to Maude, settling in the chair next to her.

“Okay, it’s our secret then,” Maude whispered and placed one small finger over her lips.

Mama tapped her on the nose before she gave her a warm smile. She readjusted a now sleeping Bryn on her lap, pulled Maude closer to her, and sighed.

“Why do you sound so sad, Mama?”

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