Page 64 of Tall, Dark, & Ginger

“Obviously.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure. I feel different with him than anyone I’ve hung out with in the past, you know?”

Indy nods. “Like?”

“We have things in common, like horror movies. It’s just easy to be around him. Conversation flows but silence is comfortable too. The sex is…” I glance over my shoulder. “So damn good, but it’s more than that.”

“More in what way?”

“More intense. More intimate, I guess. I don’t feel detached like I do with other people. I guess what I want to know is,how do you know it’s not just endorphins or the excitement of something new? How do you know if it’s real?”

“I feel like you’re answering your own questions, man.”

I open my mouth to object, but end up speechless.

“That’s how I knew,” Indy continues. “Because it was different. It felt like more than it had in the past, and I wanted to be around him all the time. I wanted any bone he threw my way, and the idea of him being with someone else made me feral. That’s how I knew.”

My chest tightens with that knowledge. I don’t let myself think about Wren moving on, not seriously, and I’m sure if I did, it wouldn’t be a benign reaction.

“Did you get there at the same time?”

“I think so. We were both feeling things before we said anything, but when we did, we were on the same page.”

“What if only one of you is there?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, man. I guess it would be better to know so you could let it go sooner, but based on what I’ve seen, I don’t think that’s the case.”

“What do you mean?”

“Wren is different too. He comes around a lot more in his off time, he laughs easier. Lowen insists his creativity in the kitchen is growing. He’s confident, and since he was always good at the food part, it’s easy to figure that his personal life improving had a positive effect on other parts of his life.”

I chew my bottom lip as the realization sinks in that I went and caught feelings. A surprised laugh bubbles out of me and I rub my forehead. “I never thought it would happen. Not for me. Not now. I spent my whole adult life wondering if I was missing a chip or something, ’cause nothing ever stuck. I would get bored so fast every single time, but with Wren, I keep coming back for more. I think about him all day. Last night, he was asleep in my bed when I got home. Asleep, Indy.”

Indy smiles. “That must’ve been a nice feeling.”

“Amazing. We slept together. I don’t do that, but I do with Wren.”

Indy reaches across the table and pats my hand. “Welcome to the club.”

We both laugh until the reality of my situation sinks in and my laughter trails off.

“Now what? Do I tell him? What if he’s not ready and I freak him out?”

“It’s a chance you have to be willing to take. I told Salem first, knowing he might freak out, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was hopeful that he felt the way I did so I took the leap.”

I nod, replaying his words, but then a new, more terrifying thought takes hold. “What if I’m wrong? What if it’s just a crush and I set him up to be hurt? I’d never forgive myself.”

“Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Humor me.”

Blowing out a breath, I close my eyes. “Okay.”

“Imagine yourself five years from now. What does your best life look like?”

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