Page 118 of A Reign of Embers

“You haven’t gotten anything in the past couple of days, have you?”

He shakes his head. “No, but there was often a day or two between notes even before. They’d need to be even more cautious now. There’s a chance.”

A chance. How flimsy must it be?

Neither of us mention the prince we sent off into Valerisse’s domain. I have no idea if Raul even reached Lavira.

Was his attempt to steal the mirror there what alerted Valerisse to my gambit?

If her soldiers caught him in the act, I can’t imagine there’s any chance at all she’s allowed him to live.

An ache squeezes tight around my heart, bringing the burn I’ve been struggling to suppress back into my eyes. I blink hard and drag in a breath.

None of the advisors around me has any idea just how much Raul meant to me. They wouldn’t understand how shaken I am.

I can’t appear weak even before them, not when I’m barely holding on to this empire as it is.

“We have time to gather more information and devise additional strategies,” I say finally. The statement doesn’t feel definitive enough, but I’m not going to give orders I can’t say for sure won’t screw us over rather than bring us closer to victory.

How did I ever believe I was going to win against a woman so bolstered by the godlen of war?

Axius nods sharply. “I’ll have more possibilities to present to you in the morning.”

The cleric clasps his hands in front of him. “You should speak to the court tonight. Murmurs are passing through the halls—they need clear information and reassurance.”

I’m not sure I have much of either to offer, but I’ll have to conjure some no matter how I feel.

I dip my head in acknowledgment. “Have them gather in the audience hall at the ninth bell. I need a short while to think through what I’ll say.” My gaze slides over the tabletop. “Perhaps this image of our great country will inspire me.”

It’s more that I don’t want to have to step out into those halls and face the murmurs myself just yet, but my advisors take my request at face value. With a few respectful parting words, they file out of the strategy room.

When it’s only me and Marc at his post by the door, I slump over the table, my head on my arms. The weight pressing down on me might as well be an entire mountain.

Careful footsteps cross the floor. Marc sets his hand on my back. “We aren’t going to let her win.”

I force myself to raise my head with a hasty swipe of myeyes. “So many people have suffered—so many peoplearesuffering—because I’ve refused to back down.”

“And how many more do you think will suffer in the future if you let her steer the empire to her ends?” He grips my shoulder with a firm squeeze. “I know that’s not the empire I want to be living in.”

“It’s closer to your family’s legacy than anything I planned,” I mutter.

The moment the words have tumbled from my mouth, a jolt of regret hits me. But Marc only chuckles roughly and gives me a gentle tug to my feet.

Face to face, he holds my gaze, his hands wrapping around mine. “We’re going to make our own legacy. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to look or if I’ll approve of every part of it, but I want to see what this world can be when you get to stretch your wings.”

My throat constricts. Apparently he’s forgiven me for wanting to destroy the dominance the imperial family established so long ago.

The knowledge doesn’t touch the deepest pain inside me. The thought of the other man who might never stand with me like this again, who I might have sent to his death, digs into my chest like a shard of glass.

Something must show in my expression, because Marc touches my cheek. He doesn’t have to ask what else I’d be anguished about.

“Raul will make it back,” he says, like a promise. “I’ve never met a man more devoted or more stubborn.”

“I don’t think devotion or stubbornness are all that good at deflecting swords.”

“She’d have to catch him first. He’s got plenty of talent to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

Which is why I sent him. Why he might have insisted ongoing even if I hadn’t. But what does any placing of responsibility or blame matter if he’s gone?

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