Page 24 of A Reign of Embers

“Well, I’m certainly grateful for your direction.” I hesitate before asking, but if anyone should be able to pry, it’s an empress. “You mentioned making an appeal—did your dedication ceremony include a gift?”

Axius doesn’t look offended by the question. He taps his side. “Just a moderate one. I gave up a rib. When sending a squadron or group of squadrons into battle, I have a knack for arranging them in the most effective formation.”

A very soldier-esque talent to fit the godlen of rulership and construction’s areas of expertise. I let my tone turn dry. “Let’s hope we don’t need to make use of that gift anytime soon.”

Coraya shifts against my shoulder. I’d think she’s just getting restless, except then she starts mouthing at my neck as if she thinks it might start producing milk.

I have to laugh even as my breasts twinge in anticipation of her need. “Please excuse me. My daughter is hungry.”

I’ve tucked myself away on a secluded bench and brought Coraya’s mouth to my chest when Marchionissa Lucrene drifts over to me. She beams down at the imperial heir. “We have to cherish these times while they’re young. They grow up so quickly.”

“I’ll be happy if she simply gets the chance to grow up at all,” I say without thinking, and then clamp my lips shut with an embarrassed flush of my cheeks.

The elderly marchionissa shows no sign of offense at my baldness. The fine lines at the corners of her eyes crinkle deeper. “You’re facing an unusual challenge. It always seems harder for the empresses than the emperors, though even the one I knew long ago never had to deal with so much resistance.”

The one she knew before—Emperor Tarquin’s mother? Lucrene must have been a young woman when that lady reigned. I wonder what color her silver-white hair used to be.

I tip my head in politer acknowledgment. “I’m following the best course I can.”

She nods. “From what I’ve seen, that’s all you can do. Fighting and talking prettily are both important, of course, but her greatest strength—the way she led—was in her resolve. You reminded me of her today. Keep that conviction, and I think you’ll find the way through.”

The earlier ache spreads through my chest again. “I’ll do my best.”

“There are always going to be people with differentopinions in a country this big, let alone the whole empire.” Lucrene tsks her tongue. “So many different needs. But I’ve seen how well you’ve managed to balance them so far. Just take your allies wherever you can find them. You never know when one person might make the difference.”

The thought of relying on even more people than I’ve already drawn into danger around me sends a jitter through my nerves. But perhaps an ally’s support doesn’t need to be that perilous. Lucrene is making a difference right now, isn’t she?

A lump rises in my throat. I adjust Coraya against me as I compose my response. “Thank you for your advice. I may want to speak with you again about how that past empress handled herself. Of course, it’d be my pleasure to reward you for your service to the empire?—”

The marchionissa waves off my comment before I can finish. “Not at all. You’ve already given me a reward in letting me speak so freely.”

She hesitates as if she’s afraid I might punish her for her honesty after all, and it occurs to me that she’s admitting to the lack of freedom she felt under her past rulers. My throat tightens even more.

“I’m glad I could offer that much,” I say quietly.

A bright smile curves Lucrene’s thin lips. She bows to me just as the night nursemaid bustles over.

The nursemaid clicks her tongue at me but lets me finish the feeding before holding out her arms for Coraya, who’s now dozing. “You need your rest too, Your Imperial Highness. Especially today.”

I can’t argue with her. When I push back to my feet, my whole body feels leaden.

I slip away from the continuing revelry in the garden. At my chambers, Marc follows me inside while the other guards remain in the hall. He spreads his usual pallet without a wordwhile I unravel my hair from its pins. I’d rather not bother with maids tonight.

“I think you did well today,” Marc says softly. “My mighty empress.”

His gaze catches mine and holds it with his usual intensity. The skip of my heart is unnerving but not totally unpleasant.

My hand flexes at my side. “I’d rather have avoided killing anyone.”

“Sometimes we don’t have a choice. What matters is that you act when you must.”

Gods grant me as few “must” situations as possible.

That thought brings my attention to my trunk that holds my brewing equipment. Marchionissa Lucrene’s remarks linger in my head.

I want to hold on to my convictions. I don’t have to fight these battles the way Sabrelle and Valerisse envision.

I have my own methods.

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