Page 44 of A Reign of Embers

The pointedness of that last sentence quieted him. Maybe because he can guess why I particularly need to talk to his foster brothers right now, and why I’d rather he wasn’t around to listen in on the conversation.

I signaled them in the dining room not long ago. It onlytakes another few tense minutes before the panel whispers open.

They emerge one after the other: Raul looking fierce, Bastien pensive, and Lorenzo concerned. As I stand to meet them, Lorenzo takes one look at my face and strides past the others to my side.

He tucks his arm around me and tips his head close. His warm, tangy scent envelopes me like a second embrace.“What’s wrong, Rell?”

My mood is that obvious, then?

I let out a shaky laugh and hold up my hand as if I can ward off Raul’s instinctive bristling. “It’s not— I’m perfectly fine. There’s no new catastrophe.” At least not of the typical sort. “I just needed to talk to you about something.”

Naturally, Bastien has already noted a key defining feature of this talk. “Without Marc around.”

Raul manages to loom even taller. “Didhetry to hurt you? After all his?—”

“Raul.” I touch his arm to stop him. “He didn’t do anything wrong either. This is about me.”

Lorenzo cocks his head to better study my expression and presses a gentle kiss to my temple.“Go ahead. We can manage not to interrupt.”

He shoots a pointed glance at the prince of Lavira, who grunts his displeasure but settles for clasping my hand.

Now that I have the stage and their full attention, my throat closes up. I spent most of the night trying to decide how to broach this subject, knowing I had to, wishing every part of my life wasn’t so tangled.

I drag in a breath. “I need you to know that nothing I say changes our relationship. I love all three of you as much as ever; I want you by my side as long as you’re willing to stay.”

“Then you have us forever,” Raul says gruffly.

I twine my fingers with his. “I know this might soundinsane, but I’m recognizing that… there’s a part of me that’s starting to want Marc too.”

Raul can’t restrain a growl.

Bastien’s stance stiffens, but he still manages to speak evenly. “As more than a guard.”

“Yes. I— I’m not going to say he wasn’t awful. But he was neveronlyawful, not like Linus was. There were enough moments, and so much of what happened was influenced by his father and his brother…”

I pause and rub my forehead. “It still seems insane even to me. But the way he reacted when I told him the truth—the fact that he chose me over his brother, over keeping the throne… He’s been cast down to one of the lowest stations in the palace, ordered around constantly, but he hasn’t lashed out. I think he really does want to be someone better. And hehasbeen.”

Raul grimaces. “That doesn’t mean— All the shit he put you through?—”

I meet his pale gaze. “The three of you weren’t exactly kind to me when I first arrived, and you didn’t have a lifetime of being molded into a tyrannical dictator behind you. People can change. It isn’t as if I never saw anything appealing about him even before—only that his behavior too often got in the way of any real affection developing.”

Lorenzo strokes his hand up and down my back.“And now it has developed?”

“Something has. I don’t know…” I shake my head. “I can’t tell whether it’ll go any farther or whether I want to act on it. But I can’t deny that the feelings are there. We had a moment, last night—only a brief kiss, but I initiated it… I didn’t want to hide anything from you. Marc has never pushed. You come first. If you can’t stand him being anything more than my guard, then I don’t even need to make any decisions, that’s how it is.”

I’m not sure how much sense I’ve made with that jumbled explanation, but Raul smiles thinly at my last words. “Then I don’t see why you should even contemplate giving that prick the time of day. We can’t trust him. He could be playing a long game.”

Bastien’s forehead furrows. “I don’tlikeit. But I haven’t seen any reason to think he doesn’t regret his past actions. He’s had plenty of chances to sabotage Aurelia in the past month without taking any of them. Hell, if he wanted to reclaim the throne, his best opportunity would probably be going over to Valerisse’s side and giving her so much more ammunition against Aurelia. But he’s still here.”

Raul rounds on him. “So you want to see him?—”

“No,” Bastien cuts in. “I said I don’t like it. But that’s not what matters most, is it? I didn’t like the idea of sharing our empress’s affection at all to begin with, even with the two of you. And… strategically speaking, it would work to our benefit if Marc has even more tying him to Aurelia. Harder to shake devotion that’s returned.”

The other prince lets out a strangled sound and throws his hands in the air. But Lorenzo speaks up before Raul can keep arguing.

“What’s most important is what feels right to Aurelia.”He nuzzles my hair.“I don’t want to see you hurt. Only you can decide how much you can forgive Marc, what you’re comfortable with, how strongly you feel about him now. If you decide he’s worthy of being a husband in more than name, then I trustyouand your judgment.”

“He’s never going to shove us aside,” Raul snarls.

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