Page 58 of A Reign of Embers

“I’m trying to help you survive,” I reply flatly, and sweep my hand across the table to swing the visible part of the map over to Cotea. “You could use that assistance more than anyone, Your Highness. The open terrain along the Cotean border makes it particularly difficult for travelers to escape notice.”

I have the impression Bastien has restrained a sigh. “And how do you recommend I avoid that notice?”

“The hills just south of the river.” I rest my hand below them. “There are two guard posts that can keep watch over almost all of them, but we have a secluded route for any small convoys we don’t want the regular soldiers seeing. There’s a hidden door and a tunnel through one of the hills—I’ll show you the pattern for unlocking the door once you’ve uncovered it.”

Bastien’s eyebrows rise. “The imperial family always keeps their options open, don’t they?”

“You don’t maintain control over an entire continent—or half of one—for centuries without making use of every possible advantage. You shouldn’t complain. It benefits you now.”

Prince Lorenzo twists his hand in the air in a gesture I can’t understand but that makes Bastien grimace. I don’t know if that means the mute prince was speaking in my favor or against it.

Raul saunters closer, folding his arms over his chest. “And how can you benefit me,Marc? Can you whisk me into Rodrige right under Valerisse’s nose?”

Ignoring his tone, I pull the map over to Lavira. “I’ve gathered that your gift can help with that. You can do something with darkness, can’t you? Make any precarious approaches by night, and I’m sure you’ll be fine. But if you’re worried…”

I point out a small town about halfway between the border and the capital. “There’s another imperial shelter in the woods just north of Eldovon. You could hole up there during the day if you can’t make the entire trek past Valerisse’s forces in one night. I’ll go over the trick to unlocking that one as well.”

Bastien glances at Raul. “The most precarious part for you will be after you’ve arrived. It might be difficult to keep word from spreading that Queen Benvida’s younger son has come calling unexpectedly.”

Raul huffs. “My family might thrive on conversation, but they know when they need to keep their mouths shut.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” I say.

Bastien aims a thin smile at me. “Other than you arranging our departure in such a way that we never come back.”

I grit my teeth against another instinctive protest.

Why should I be surprised that they feel that way? It isn’t as if I haven’t wished more than a thousand times in the past few weeks that…

That they’d disappear and leave Aurelia to me? That I’d never have to see her grace them with the adoring smile she’s never granted me with quite the same warmth? Never have to watch them caress and pleasure her?

I expected to take a bitter satisfaction at the thought of her lovers disappearing. Instead, I find myself picturing the scene I witnessed in my wife’s bedroom just two days ago. The way the man who’s still glaring at me embraced her so tenderly, the softening of his face as he gazed down at the child who’s reallyhis, not mine… The way Aurelia relaxed into his body as if shedding all the weight she’d been carrying…

Bitterness does sear through me, but it’s focused on my own deficiencies rather than theirs. What I haven’t been able to give her. What I failed to recognize while I had the chance.

Do I really want to see how her heart would shatter if even one of these men failed to return? It isn’t as if I could comfort her through the loss. She’s offered me a shred of affection, yes—a shred I cherish every time I remember that brief kiss. But that’s hardly enough to sustain her.

She needs them. And they… I can admit they’ve earned it.

I fix Bastien and then the others with my firmest stare. “You’dbettermake it back. For Aurelia’s sake. You’ve made a point of proving you’re leagues more capable than I gave you credit for. Don’t fall down on the job now.”

Bastien blinks at me. Raul lets out a scoffing sound that Neven echoes like a parrot.

Lorenzo… Do the corners of his lips curve upward for just an instant?

“Believe me,”he says in that unnerving voice that doesn’t shift his mouth,“there’s nothing shy of a second Great Retribution that could keep me from her side any longer than she requires it.”

Raul grunts. “That’s right. So you’d better make sureshe’sperfectly safe while we’re gone.”

I exercise immense self-discipline and avoid pointing out to him that I saved Lorenzo’s life just a week ago. Do they not realize I’d let myself be flayed to the bone if it protected her?

And so would they. I can’t deny that fact either. Their devotion shines on their faces now, reverberates through their voices—even Neven’s, in his less heartsick way. It’s showed in every move they’ve made on her behalf that I’ve seen in the past weeks and those I’ve heard about from the months before.

And yet they still have to meet with just me in this meeting room while Aurelia attends to other concerns, because she’s already nervous about how much attention she’s focused on them since she came up with her plan.

For fuck’s sake,Iget to enjoy her presence more than they do, as distant as it often is, and I’ve spent most of my time in her life as a villain rather than her hero.

An unexpected knot forms low in my gut.

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