Page 15 of Chain Me Knot

Why does it have to be that way? Why can’t I just be on my own without any alpha in my head? I just want my beach. To be alone. To breathe air that isn't tainted by alpha scents or bonds or promises that always, always, turn to chains.

“I have to ask you some personal questions to help me assess exactly where you are medically speaking, if that’s okay?” Dr. Chen asks gently, redirecting my spiraling thoughts.

I nod, because there’s no use in denying the first proper medical care I’ve had in years.

Dr. Chen remains professional, thankfully. “How regular have you had your heat cycles?”

I close my eyes, trying to block out the memories that question triggers. “I went through four heats in that basement.”

Thank the gods for heat delirium. It blanked out the worst of what they did to me. But I always knew how bad it was when I came out of it, when I saw the fresh bruises, the bite marks, the... other damage. They'd leave me there afterward, lying in my own filth – sweat, slick, their releases, worse. Nothing apart from a rag and however much water I could fill in the sink to clean myself. No comfort.Nothing but the evidence of what they'd done dried on my skin. After they left I’d had nothing but time to scrub and scrub and scrub.

They'd disappear for days after, only coming down occasionally to throw some food at me like I was a dog they'd grown bored with. I hate them. I hate what they did to me. But most of all, I hate my omega biology that made their power over me possible.

“And how long were you in that basement?” Dr. Chen asks.

“I didn’t have a window, let alone a clock,” I say. I have no idea how long I was chained down there. It felt like lifetimes spent in darkness.

“I’m only trying to work out how regular your heat cycles were because your tests revealed that you haven’t had a heat in a long while. Did you know omegas are meant to have four heat cycles a year?” He continues quickly, no doubt reading the tightness on my face because I knew that, and it was the only thing that saved me. “I’m only asking because I’m trying to work out when your body started shutting down, as I’m sure it did living under those circumstances. I only want to help you by understanding. I don’t want to distress you.”

I shake my head. I’m embarrassed about how little I know about my biology. My real biology. Not the bullshit I was fed that served others.

I can’t go back down there. Not now I’ve glimpsed the sun. The doctor seems sympathetic. Maybe he knows a way I can disappear. Maybe he will help me. He’ll know handing me back over no matter what the law says will mean my death sentence.

“Please.” I try to rise but I’m so damn weak. “Please don't let them take me back. Don't give me back to Pack Carmichael. Please...”

“They were already here,” Dr. Chen says, and my heart stops. “They tried to collect you, but your scent match alphas prevented it.” He adjusts his glasses and levels a look at me. “Those alphas haven't left since you were brought in, and to be totally honest, they're your best protection right now. They will defend you with their lives.”

I shake my head, disbelieving.

“If you don't believe me,” he says softly, “reach out through the new bond. Feel what your alpha is feeling right now.”

I filter through the acidic bond, feeling Matthew’s familiar assault of cruelty, and Derek and James’s malignity. As I pass over them, claws reach up to gouge my soft underbelly. I cringe into the familiar harshness, knowing their intentions if they get me back into their clutches. As though their neglect, the raid and me being put into hospital, is my fault.

I stumble to the new bond that was never there before. I have to sink down deep to find the cord, as though he’s muted himself somehow, but when I do I’m hit with a tsunami of raw feeling. None of it carries the malice I'm used to. There’s loathing, yes, but it’s self-loathing, all of it directed inward, not at me. It's... strange. Unsettling.

But I slam those observations away, lock them behind walls built from hard experience. Anyone can manufacture emotions. James used to make himself feel 'sorry' right before his fist would strike my face. This must be another trick.

It has to be.

“Is there anyone you'd like to talk to?” Dr. Chen asks, clearly seeing my skepticism. “Someone who might help you feel safer? Anyone you trust?”

The question catches me off guard. Trust? The word is foreign on my tongue. But...

“I have…friends,” I whisper, the words coming before I can stop them. I've kept their names locked away, protected them from my alphas' interrogations. But now, with freedom tantalizingly close... “Mira and Leah.”

I'm not going to tell him they're omegas. Or that deep down, I’ve given up hope of ever seeing them again. The words stick in my throat as memories flood back. Three terrified girls plotting escape in whispers, knowing what waited for us when our first heats hit. But telling him they're omegas would be pointless. How do you trace someone who legally doesn't exist?

We're not like betas or alphas. We don't have jobs or bank accounts or driver's licenses. We don't own property or have credit cards or show up in a system thatmatters. We're possessions, things to be owned and traded. Our only paperwork are our designation certificates and transfer of ownership papers.

I need to know if they made it. If they're safe. If this doctor can find them, why not let him try? I hope they didn’t end up like me, chained in dark places with cruel alphas and subjected to partial bonds.

We had a plan for after our escape. When we were safe, we’d place an ad inThe Daily Heraldbut if they were caught like I was, if they ended up owned by alphas who keep them locked away... The chances of them seeing a newspaper, let alone being allowed to place an ad, are non-existent.

Still, I need to know. Need to believe that at least one of us made it. That all our planning, all our dreams of freedom, weren't completely in vain, but I'm fading fast, my body heavy with exhaustion. Even this short conversation is draining what little energy I had.

Dr. Chen pats my hand. “I'll send a nurse to help you get cleaned up. When you’re done, I’ll have a meal ready for you. You’ll feel better after that.”

I can barely believe he’ll go to all that trouble for me, but when he moves to the door, I hear urgent voices outside. Through the door, I hear their voices overlapping in urgent tones.

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