Charlie
Istare at my computer screen, scrolling through page after page of analytics for a major client meeting tomorrow. Facts and figures blur in front of me. I know there’s data I should be paying attention to, but it’s all a haze.
I wonder what he’s doing right now?
It’s been a few days since I showed up at Jake’s condo after he got back from his string of away games. I needed to make sure he was still alive and hadn’t sunk too deep into post-loss gloom. But since then, our schedules haven’t aligned. I’ve missed him more than I want to admit, and it’s messing with my concentration.
Ridiculous.Missing someone I’ve only ever kissed. The audacity of me.
Except it’s not just me. Noah’s been asking if he’ll see Jake again soon, too. He’s been quieter than usual this week, and I’ve been desperately trying to cajole him. Even Meadow, as I tucked her into bed the other night, mumbled sleepily that she missed Jake and his shoulder rides.
It’s sweet, but it also fills me with so much anxiety. Jake’s only been in our lives for a short time, and yet he’s already become a part of our little world. It feels risky. Like I should be pulling back, moving slower.
I feel protective and guilty, like I should be doing more to rein myself in. The last thing I need is for my kids to get attached to someone who might not be around for the long haul. I’ve already done that to them once. This move to Denver was supposed to give them a fresh start—the opposite of what they had with the last man in their lives, their own father.
But I can’t get Jake’s words out of my head, the ones he said to me after the zoo.I’m all in.
How can he be so sure? It actually pisses me off a little, thinking he’s saying these things so casually. He can’t just say that to a single mother with two kids. It’s not fair. Unless, of course, he means it. Which he might. And the way he looks at me… it feels like he really does.
I huff, clicking my mouse a bit too aggressively as I scroll through the data on my screen. I’m a bloody mess. I need my overactive brain to kindly fuck off for a bit.
The way my thoughts and emotions are swinging from side to side is driving me nuts. This isn’t what I came here to do. I should be able to focus. There’s too much at stake if I don’t.
A light tapping on my office door pulls me from my spiraling thoughts. Zoe saunters in, her mischievous smirk faltering a bit when she sees my stormy expression. “What’s with the face?”
I smile, composing myself and shaking my head. “Just… stuff.”
“Oh,stuff,huh? Would that stuff happen to be six-foot-three, ridiculously handsome, and play professional hockey, by any chance?” Zoe’s eyes twinkle.
I sigh, leaning back in my chair, but I can’t help the small smile tugging at my lips. “Maybe.”
Zoe plops down in the chair across from me, propping her feet on the edge of my desk. “Wanna talk about it?”
I hesitate, searching her face. Idowant to tell her, but I already know what she’s going to say—that I need to give this a chance. And while I love her for her support, I don’t think she fully understands just how fiercely I need to protect my kids.
“I’m feeling… conflicted,” I finally admit.
Zoe raises an eyebrow. “Conflicted because…?”
The words spill out before I can stop them. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m a single mother who uprooted her kids to the other side of the world. I swore I’d keep them safe, keep them from getting hurt again. And nowthey’re missing Jake more than I expected. I’m scared I’m setting them up for another fall. I feel like a hypocrite.”
Zoe’s expression softens, her usual teasing replaced with concern. “You’re not a hypocrite, Charlie. You’rehuman. You’re doing the best you can for those kids. And I don’t think you’re giving Jake enough credit. From what I’ve seen, he’s missing you guys just as much, probably even more. He’s got this whole tortured soul thing going on.” She waves her hand for emphasis. “That man’s not going anywhere unless you push him away.”
I bite my lip, her words hitting closer to home than I want to admit. “But what if I’m wrong? What if this all ends up hurting them? I can’t let that happen again.”
Zoe leans forward. “You’re a great mom, Charlie. You’d never let anything hurt those kids if you could help it. But maybe it’s time to believe Jake is all in, like he said.”
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, my phone buzzes loudly on the desk, the screen lighting up withNoah’s School.My heart drops.
“Hold on,” I say, picking up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hi, Ms. Andrews? This is Mrs. Lopez from Noah’s school. I wanted to inform you that there was a small incident today. Noah was involved in a scuffle with another student.”
My stomach tightens. “A scuffle? What happened?”
“It seems another student was picking on Noah, and he… well, he defended himself. He’s not in any trouble, but I thought you should know. He was pretty upset afterward.”
“What were they picking on him about?”