Page 57 of Make the Play

Logan slaps his knee. “Chaz is so bad. Iloveit.”

I look around the locker room, searching for someone, anyone to see reason. Someone who will object to this absolute war crime of a name. All I get in return are blank stares and shit-eating grins.

“No way. Zoe would literally light me on fire.”

Jake shrugs. “That’s why it’s funny.”

Reid, still focused on his stick, barely acknowledges me. “Condolences.”

Logan keeps going like he’s hosting a fucking wedding planning meeting. “Okay, okay. What about Zoase?”

Ryan chokes. “Sounds like a yeast infection.”

I groan and drop my head back against my locker. “I’m begging you, make it stop.”

Eli claps. “It’s Chaz. Final answer.”

“And now that we’ve decidedthat,” Logan says, grinning like a game-show host, “what about Jake and Charlie?”

Jake, who was a moment earlier enjoying my misery, freezes mid-stretch.

“No.”

“Oh,hell yes,” I say, my mood instantly lifting. “Let’s go!”

Jake glares at me. “Don’t.”

“Jarlie,” Logan announces with entirely too much joy.

Ryan gasps like someone just got murdered in a soap opera. “Jarlieis horrific.”

“Jarlie isnothappening,” Jake says, scowling at all of us.

Reid nods solemnly. “I think it’s happening.”

Jake mutters something under his breath that sounds like a threat and a prayer. Logan’s laughing so hard he has to wipe under his eyes.

“Chaz and Jarlie,” he wheezes. “The NHL is doomed. What an absolute fucking disaster.”

Eli, practically vibrating with energy now, spins toward Reid. “Alright, Hutchy, if you ever get a girlfriend, we’ll make you a name too.”

“I won’t,” Reid says, without missing a beat. “Problem solved. But what’s yours? You’re married now.”

There’s a beat of silence as Eli’s face shifts from smug to horrified in record time. “Married couples don’t need one.”

Logan tilts his head, like he’s doing big brain calculations. “Eli… Tamara…”

The whole room goes still, like a crowd at a penalty shot. I swear I can hear the gears turning. Then Jake, who has fully embraced the chaos at this point, lights the match.

“E.T.”

The exact moment the words leave his mouth and float into the air, Eli’s soul exits his body. I can tell because he makes a strangled sound of protest as every single one of us breaks into howls of laughter.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

I double over, Ryan’s wheezing, and Logan fully collapses off the bench, gasping for air. “Holy shit, that's unforgivable. I’m gonna pass out.”

Jake’s grinning so hard he looks deranged as Eli hurls his helmet into his locker. “Aww, does E.T. need a cuddle?”

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