Page 96 of The Bad Boy Rule

The truth is I don’t even know if Lennonismine, but what I do know is she’s not going to be anyone else’s.

Fuck no.

“What do you want to do once you graduate?” I ask.

The question feels random, but fuck, now all I’m thinking about is what’s going to happen next, where do we go from here? About what the future is going to hold withus.

What’s going to happen if she ever finds out about the shit with our dads?

Would she hate him for the shit he’s done, or would she hatemefor blaming her father?

I’m carrying this shit inside my chest. This… guilt. It’s an unfamiliar, uncomfortable feeling to experience.

I just don’t want to hurt her. “Honestly? I don’t know.” She winces, like the thought of being unsure of her future is as uncomfortable as the guilt I’m harboring. “I’ve spent my entire life doing every single thing that I’ve been told without ever questioning or giving any kind of resistance. I’ve always done everything that’s been expected of me. The dutiful daughter.” I watch her throat rock with a hard swallow.

I reach out and grab her hand, threading our fingers together and doing a slow, steady sweep of my thumb along the soft skin of her hand.

I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but it feels like she needs the assurance of my touch. I know this shit with her dad hurts her, even when she tries to throw up armor as thick as mine.

I’ve realized that Lennon is soft, in all the places that it matters, but especially her heart.

My thumb moves as she speaks. “Until this year, I never had the freedom of planning for a future outside of the one my parents have set for me. I think about it a lot. The fact that my family comes from money… the nicest cars, a seven-bedroom house when it’s only ever just been the three of us, designer gowns. I’ve lived a life of luxury, and I’m privileged to say that. Trust me, I know that.” She pauses, blowing out a breath. “But surrounded by all of that… the one luxury I never had was freedom.”

The irony isn’t lost on me. My Golden Girl… in her golden cage.

“Anyway, until recently, I haven’t really had the chance to think about what Ireallywant to do. But I think I’d like to work with children? But also incorporate skating into it somehow. Maybe work with underprivileged kids. Open a rink and make it possible for everyone to have the ability to chase their dreams.” She smiles then, her eyes lighting up as she mentions it.

I can’t imagine anything she’d be better at. She’s kind, patient, down-to-earth.

The exact opposite of the girl I thought she was when she walked into the rink that day.

“I think you’d be amazing,” I finally say, offering her a small smile. “Do whatever makes you happy, and fuck what anyone thinks about it. That should be your motto from here on out. Be wild, be rebellious. Total fucking anarchy, Lennon. Fuck it.”

Her eyes glint with pride. “Hmm. I like it. Maybe I’ll start by getting a tattoo of my own.”

“Oh yeah?” I drop her hand to haul her up my body until she’s fully on top of me, my mouth hovering beneath hers. “What are you going with? A butterfly?” Using the tips of my fingers, I draw one onto the back of her thigh just below where my T-shirt ends, noting the way she melts into me, a shiver racing down her spine. “Hmm. Nah, too basic. What about… a flower?” I makethe lines of the flower, trailing up beneath the shirt as I draw the stem. My lips ghost along hers, featherlight, chaste even, yet hunger flicks within the depths of her pretty pale green eyes. “A heart?” Inch by inch, my fingers move higher, all while I watch her, never letting my gaze leave hers. “No, none of those. I’ve got it.”

“What?” Her words tumble out breathlessly, a whisper against my lips.

“Agoldenphoenix. From the ashes, you rise.”

FORTY-FOUR

SAINT

Golden Girl: I’m not saying I miss you, but I am saying I miss your

Saint: & what did I tell you?

Golden Girl: …

Saint: If you want my all you have to do is ask. You asking, Golden Girl?

Golden Girl: Come to my apartment after ice time? Maybe… we can play hooky tomorrow? Stay in all weekend?

Saint: Let me check my schedule

Golden Girl: You know what, never mind. No more for you

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