Page 21 of Her Former Bear Mate

"I feared as much."Aditi hid her face behind a packet of crackers with a little shriek."That's so embarrassing."

So cute.Why was she so cute?

Lena put the hunk of blue cheese back and grabbed some random crackers.She couldn't care less about it but she needed something to keep her hands busy before she did something stupid.Like kiss her ex in the middle of the supermarket.

"I'm sure nobody else noticed," she said eventually, hoping it came across as reassuring.It was the truth too, she'd only noticed because she knew exactly what Aditi's face looked like when she was getting flustered.She'd be able to recognise the raspy breaths, the unfocused look in her eyes, the sighs anywhere anytime.

Aditi bit the corner of her bottom lip."You're not as freaked out as I thought."

"Why would I freak out?So you still find me attractive?What's the big deal?We didn't break up cause we stopped finding each other attractive," Lena said with a little shrug that she hoped came across as easy and casual.It wasn't a big deal.It didn't matter that Aditi still liked it when she breathed on her ear, that it still got her heart pounding and stomach fluttering and legs squeezing together.

It.Didn't.Matter.

Lena's grip on the bag of crackers tightened.She really, really needed to convince herself that it didn't matter.

"I suppose so," Aditi murmured in a flat voice."Yeah, you're right, it's not a big deal.I still find you attractive, so what?Right?"

"Exactly," Lena pushed out, turning away before she lost all sense of control.She would never have guessed that one of the biggest trials in her life would be over cheese and crackers.

She was glad when they moved on and the conversation switched back to safer topics.Her heart was still pounding and she kept hold of her trolley with both hands, afraid what she might do now she knew Aditi was definitely, definitely still attracted to her.

Reality came crashing down like a cold shower when they reached the check-out and she was reminded that despite shopping together, they were paying separately and going to their separate homes.

They weren't together and it didn't matter if she still made Aditi flutter.They were still broken up and wanted two devastatingly different things from life and their romantic partners.

Not even good chemistry could fix that.

Aditi paused after paying, lingering really.“You know, I could come over and make you proper bangers and mash.I know how you get when you’re on your period.I’ve got everything for it now anyway and it’ll be better than your ready meal.And all those chocolates in your bag.”

Lena’s heart leapt up although she couldn’t pinpoint if it was eagerness or panic.“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“It’s a friend-offer.I do this kind of thing for Alix too.”

Which was true.Lena knew it was true because she’d been there for it.Aditi was just this kind of person, warm and thoughtful and caring.Would it really be so bad to take her up on this offer?It wasn’t like anything was going to happen, Lena’s period was killing her.And she really wanted to be pampered instead of going back to a flat that wasn’t quite home.

She nodded, against her better judgement.“I do like the way you make mash.”

Aditi looked pleased, maybe too pleased.“Great.Plus, I’m kind of curious to see your new place.”

“Right, you’ve not been.”Lena’s excitement died and it twisted the knife in her heart.She already regretted saying yes because now she had to take Aditi to her sad little flat and host her like a guest, as if they hadn’t lived together and shared their lives for the last four years.

What the heck was wrong with her?

TWELVE

Aditi

Aditi wasn’tsure what she’d expected from Lena’s new flat but it was both a surprise and so very Lena.It was all bare and functional, which could've been explained by the fact that she only moved here recently but that wasn't the case.Lena was just like that, functional but surprisingly agreeable to buying cute little pillows and nice bed sheets and colourful paintings for the walls.

She was always agreeable.Maybe that was why it came as such a surprise that she hadn't been willing to budge even a little on the fated-mate conversation.Then again, it wasn't really something to compromise on.There was no in between going and not going into the lake of fate.

"Pots are in there," Lena said, snapping Aditi out of her thoughts."I think I've got a colander somewhere.I'm sure I bought one."

Aditi pulled open another cupboard and knelt down, not at all surprised to find it stuffed with kitchen utensils with their labels still attached.A brand new colander was one of them and she pulled it out."Found it."

Lena looked stunned, as if she'd forgotten that they lived together and knew all these cute slash frustrating little habits about each other.Like how Lena left her socks everywhere and how Aditi's hair clogged up the shower drain.Or that Lena was an expert at stacking the dishwasher, unlike Aditi, and only had three drawers for clothes.Shirts, trousers, all her underwear and grey socks.

That was, for someone like Aditi who liked a walk-in closet, one of life's greatest bafflements.It wasn't something she wanted to change about Lena, rather she found it quite endearing.It also meant that she knew her way around Lena's flat even though she hadn't been here before.

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