Page 36 of Dissent

“What? Hell no!”

“I said,again,” he snapped.

“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing!”

“Defend yourself. Now let’s go.”

“I—” Once again, I didn’t have time to finish. Wes charged me, grabbing my arms, flipping me around, swiping my legs out from underneath me. The next thing I knew, I was lying flat on the mat with my arms behind my back. He squished my face up against the soft padding, and I inhaled deep breaths of rubber and sweat as I panted. My arms, all twisted behind me as he placed pressure on my fingers, sent debilitating pain up my arms. “Ouch! You’re hurting me!” I felt the pressure of his body on my back.

“Make me stop,” he breathed in my ear.

“Stop,please!” There was a moment of silence, my heart thundering in my chest, and then the pressure on my fingers lessened, stopping the pain going up my arm. Relief swept over me again, but I noticed he hadn’t released me from the hold, still pinning me down with the weight of his body.

“You should leave.”

“W-what?”

“You need to leave. Get the hell away from here.” His voice was hot in my ear, low and menacing.

And then I understood. He wanted me gone. Not like, out of the room, but likegonegone. And I wished I could give him what he wanted. I wish Icouldleave. I wanted to so badly, but I was stuck. My parents wanted me dead, and I didn’t even know where Iwas! I wanted to scream it all at him, scream it to everyone, but all that came out was, “I don’t have anywhere else to go.” It was a whisper that escaped me. So inaudible that I wasn’t even sure I actually said it at all.

Wes didn’t respond. He didn’t move. I felt his breath hot on my ear, the weight of his body on mine, and I swore that time stopped. The beating of my heart slowed, but each individual beat felt as though it rocked my whole body. I could hear it with each pound, hard and heavy. And then, the pressure released. I felt his weight lift off me and my hands were let go.

I exhaled a long breath, and then slowly got myself onto all fours and stood. When I turned around to face him, Wes stood like a sentinel, feet shoulder-width apart, arms down at his sides with hands balled into fists, and the familiar scowl on his face. But his eyes told a story, and I found myself captivated by them. There was an edge to them, a warning to stay away, to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But there was something else. Something hidden in their depths. Something that pulled me in, held me prisoner, leaving me trembling. Something that left mewanting.

We stared at each other, the tension building, sending waves of tingling heat coursing through my body as the silence became deafening, making me edgy. And when I thought I couldn’t stand it any longer, something shifted in Wes’s expression. It softened, but only by just a hair. And when he spoke this time, the word came out as a plea.

“Leave.”

That’s exactly what I did.

17: Cafeteria Angst

“Youdidagreatjob today.” Matias’s voice was warm and inviting, sending a flutter of heat within me. The cool mountain air was crisp in the twilight, causing me to cross my arms for warmth as we hiked back down the mountain toward camp.

“Really? I feel like I was terrible.”

After my god-awful training session with Wes, Matias had found me. His job was to teach me marksmanship, which was basically how to work with guns. Today was gun safety, and we spent what felt like hours reviewing the safety, how to turn it on, how to turn it off, how to load it, how to disarm it, and so on. He also introduced me to a stunner, which looked like a handgun, but instead of harming your opponent, it just stunned them, immobilizing them for a period.

Apparently, the Dissenters weren’t interested in killing Telvians. They wanted to dethrone Raúl, not destroy Telvia. Freeing the people was the goal, and reuniting Telvia with the other regions would secure peace to the UFA. Matias was clear that stunners were used as the primary weapon, with guns as a last resort. Sasha armed most rebels with stunners and few had a lethal weapon. Though similar in appearance, they were lighter than their deadly counterparts, and silvery in appearance. The clips were a battery pack that held the charge for the quick zap of electrical energy that shot out of the barrel when fired. My lesson today taught me about both, familiarizing me with each, and learning how to use them.

“Nah, you did great.” He flashed me another smile, sending little flutters off within me. God, I loved his smile, the soft contours of his face. “I think you might be a natural.”

I snorted, “Yeah,right.” Despite waving off his compliment, a little part of me beamed.

“Seriously… Oh, wait a second.” He stopped walking and reached out toward me. “You have something right there.” Leaning in close, he gently brushed away something on my cheek. His touch sent a tingle through my body, scattering gooseflesh down my arms. I didn’t dare move. His hand glided down to my chin, thumb resting just below my bottom lip, as his eyes locked with mine.

I gulped.

Time slowed and we just stood there. How did it get so damn hot all of a sudden? It was like his body was radiating off waves of heat. I resisted the urge to pull on my collar, and just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, he took a lock of my hair and gently tucked it behind my ear.

“You’re beautiful.”

My breath caught as my heart pattered like a little school girl. I couldn’t have heard him right. “I’m sorry?”

He dropped his hand as a smile crossed his lips once again. “You’re beautiful.”

Yup! I heard right. “Thank you.” My voice came out in a whisper, as though saying anything too loudly would break the moment, shatter the magic that seemed to swell within me.

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