Page 45 of Dissent

“I’m right, aren’t I? You buried some part of yourself, pushing it down so deep that you don’t feel anything anymore.” A sardonic chuckle escaped me. “Unless it’s anger, that is.”

This time, the only movement from him was the stiffening of his body. His back strained slightly, his shoulders moving backwards, and then his head turned to look back out across the valley below.

I swallowed. I wasn’t sure how far to go or how hard to push him. But it felt like I was hitting the nail on the head. “Are you afraid—”

“I’m not afraid of anything,” he snapped suddenly, his head whipping around to face me. My heart jumped and then thrummed as my muscles twitched, itching to move. But I stood completely still as Wes spoke. “I’ve been in enough fucked up situations and lost enough in my life that I just don’t give a shit anymore. You got that? You don’t know anything about me, so don’t come up here pretending like you do.” He paused, rubbing his chin before declaring once again, “I amnotafraid.” He turned his head and looked back out into the abyss.

I placed a hand over my heart, trying to ease my nervousness, breathing out slowly through pursed lips. Steadying myself, I dared to try again. “You’re a liar.”

“What?” His head whipped around once more, standing up in one fluid motion that was both graceful and seriously intimidating. “What did you call me?”

Gulping, I tried to stand up taller. “I said you’re a liar. Youareafraid. I’m not sure of what, but you’re afraid. Maybe it’s grieving your brother, or caring for someone, or making yourself vulnerable. But you’re afraid, and you use this scary-ass machismo bullshit to push people away—”

I didn’t get a chance to finish.

Within the blink of an eye, Wes charged the space between us, causing me to recoil several steps back. He didn’t pursue me though, allowing me the few feet of distance.

“Nevercall me a liar, Mara.” The words left his lips in a deep growl, but I noticed he didn’t deny what I said.

Taking a breath, I steeled myself. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

A wave of different emotions coursed through him. I saw it all…the anger, the grief, the regret. It was all there, playing like a movie before my eyes. And just as quickly as they flashed through him, they were gone. And, once again, Wes’s shoulders seemed to collapse and his expression fell flat, his eyes empty once more.

“You miss him a lot, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, just a plain and simple observation.

Wes stayed quiet for a moment before he finally gave one curt nod. The silence stretched between us, and after a moment, Wes turned around and walked back toward the edge of the granite shelf. Then, he finally spoke. “We used to come up here a lot when we were on PTO. He was only older by a few minutes. But those few minutes meant he carried all the responsibilities of being the firstborn of the North. I…I didn’t have to worry about any of it.”

The responsibilities of the North? I hadn’t heard much about the other regions. Nothing more than what Sasha had shared with me thus far. I wondered if being the First Son of the North was like being the First Son of Telvia. A vision of Chase dressed as Jacob, standing next to Raúl at the arena came to mind, but I shook my head and quickly pushed it away.

“I liked not having to worry,” he continued, throwing a quick glance over his shoulder before snickering under his breath. “But that’s not the case anymore. Once I go home, I’ll have new responsibilities and…” He halted, his expression shifting, eyes glistening until he set his gaze to the ground.

“And?”

His brows furrowed again, fingers curling into a fist as anguish smoothed over the lines of his beautiful face. “And I’m not sure I want to.” He looked up at me this time, and for once, he didn’t seem to push down the pain. He allowed it to play across his eyes, across the valley of his angular features, and on the supple curves of his lips.

It took my breath away.

The pull, the desire to be near him was real…commanding. And I didn’t push back against it. I took steady steps toward him until I was at his side on the edge of the cliff. Iwasright. Hewasafraid. He was afraid of the man he was going to be forced to become. Like Jacob, they were both required to become specific individuals, tied down and limited by rules and responsibilities simply because of their parentage. But, unlike Jacob, Wes wanted nothing to do with his hereditary title.

My lips curved softly at the corners, and my chest swelled with an emotion I just couldn’t thumb down, but it rolled within me, carrying me through. “I get it. I don’t know what the North is like compared to Telvia, but I can imagine your job as the First Son is probably a lot like my brother’s. So, I get it.”

Wes looked away from me, licking his lips as he stared out over the valley. “Yeah, probably.” Silence fell between us again, and I took the opportunity to look out too, admiring the vista. And it was beautiful. The sun was setting, and the sky was painted with hues of purples, pinks, and pastel oranges, looking so much like an oil painting with measured brush strokes. My mind was flooded with memories of my past, of my brother, of Chase.

“You know, I remember this one time Chase got into one of his righteous moods. Something would bite him in the ass and then, suddenly, he’d be going on and on about it.” A smile encased my lips as the memory played out in my mind. “He was so indignant that he stood up on his chair at the academy and was giving this huge speech to everyone. It was pretty good, actually.” I looked at Wes. He was still looking out over the valley, but I could see the corner of his lips were twitching. “I don’t even remember what the hell it was that got his boxers up in a bunch, but he had all these people watching him, and then…he fell off the chair.”

Wes’s body stiffened. He didn’t shift his gaze or make a sound, but his body stood unwavering. A laugh escaped me as one of my arms curled around my waist and the other hand flew to my mouth. “He totally fell off. Like, totally ate it in the middle of this huge speech he was making. I felt so bad for him, but it was so damn funny because he was being so smug.” And then another laugh escaped me as the vision of Chase falling off the chair and the look of morbid embarrassment filled his face. “Like, hetotallydeserved it.”

Wes remained serious for a moment, and then, slowly, his lips curved. They parted, and then…

He laughed.

He laughed just like he did in the tent. Deep and full—genuine. And his laughter made me laugh even more. Before I knew it, we were both rolling, feeding off each other. And as the laughter began to subside, the most mortifying thing I could think of happened.

I snorted.

Like, a full-blownpiggysnort.

Both my hands flew to cover my mouth, my eyes growing wide. I hadneversnorted in my life! How embarrassing! But then again, I guess I rarely laughed like this back in Telvia.

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