Page 48 of Dissent

Something was wrong.

The lines of his face shifted, and the icy stare swept back into place as his brows drew forward. I searched his eyes, frowning. What was happening? What the hell was going on?

Wes took a step away from me, and then another, putting several feet between us.Shit, what the hell is happening?I blinked, trying to release myself from the spell.

A pained expression crossed his stunning face as his eyes clouded. “I’m not Chase, Mara.”

And suddenly, everything collapsed. “Oh my god,” I whispered, mortified. “Oh my god,” I said again. “I’m so sorry.”

I didn’t call him by his name. Out of habit and because of old memories, I had breathed out hisbrother’sname! I called himChase.

My hand covered my mouth, embarrassment and mortal dread filling me. And I felt so bad. I felt so, so terrible. I just fucked everything up…again!

What the hell is wrong with me?

This wasn’t Chase. And what’s worse, this wasn’t Matias either. How could I have done this?

What the hell isfreakingwrong with me!

Desperate to rectify this total mess, I searched for words. “Wes, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Just stop.” His tone was firm, cold, crisp. Whatever warmth might have been growing, whatever truce was taking shape, it was gone now.

I walked towards him, hands up in a plea for forgiveness. “I swear, I didn’t mean to call you that.” He took an even bigger step back, putting more distance between us. I stopped pursuing him, feeling the rejection brewing in my chest. “Wes, I’msosorry.”

The scowl slipped back into place, and I knew then that whatever friendship might have been possible was gone. “Get out.”

Tears swelled in my eyes once more, and shame accompanied the embarrassment. Pressing my hands to my lips, I nodded and turned away from him, leaving the gym.

23: Hunted

Iran.Iranas fast and as hard as I could, out of the training center, past the dozens of eyes that stared after me in confusion, and back up the trail. I felt like such an idiot, and I was confused—so confused about everything.

My chest heaved from the exertion as I made it to the top. Looking around, I noticed the trail that looked like the one to the Rock. I took it. I needed time and space, and I didn’t know of anywhere else I could go where I would be alone. My feet slowed down, but I didn’t stop. I just kept following the path, even as it seemed to become overgrown by brush.

Tears flowed freely, and I kept wiping them away, but it was pointless. How could I do that? How could I call him Chase? Wes barely tolerated me already, and then to call him his brother’s name? I shrieked out of frustration.

And was he going to kiss me? Was that what was happening? I ran my fingers through my hair. I was so confused…andcrazy! There was no way he was about to kiss me. It was all me and my stupid, unrealized fantasies I had from Chase. And I was projecting that onto poor Wes who sure as hell did not need that crap from me.Iwas the moron in this shitshow. I let myself get carried away, allowing my mind to play tricks on me. I had to get it through myeffinghead!

Wes. Wasn’t.Chase!

No matter how many times I saw Chase die in my nightmares, my body was drawn to Wes over and over again. Muscle memory kicking in, seeking intimate moments, with a living replica of the boy I’d lost. He probably thought I was nuts. One minute I was calling him a rabid dog, and the next I was throwing myself at him. “Argh!”I cried out, hands balling into fists.

My legs screamed at me as my lungs burned. Unable to go any further, I finally stopped walking, and leaned forward to rest my hands on my knees, taking in ragged breaths. I didn’t know how I was going to fix this or even if Icouldfix it for that matter.

“What a mess…” I muttered.

Exhaling sharply, I stood up straight and glanced around, taking in my surroundings, but nothing looked familiar.

Wait a minute…where the hell am I?

I scanned the forest, noticing nothing but a never-ending sea of trees and shrubbery. The path before me had disappeared, taken back by the forest years before my intrusion.

I was such an idiot. This was definitely not the path to the Rock. And if itwasthe path, I had taken a wrong turn somewhere. I looked around to follow the trail back to the main path, but there was nothing there. Nothing but brush, trees, and more brush.

There was no trail.

“Great. Fan-fucking-tastic…” I griped with a heavy sigh. Moaning again, I rubbed my face with hands in exasperation, brushing away the dirt, sweat, and tears as I looked around again.

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