Page 92 of Dissent

He wasn’t listening. He looked off into the dark, muttering away, but I could tell he wasn’t talking to me. He was in his own head. “Kidnapped. I can work with that. She was kidnapped, and they made her do it. She’s a victim—”

“No! I’m not a victim. Listen to me! Raúl’s been lying.”

“I can tell them she didn’t mean any of it—”

“Jacob, stop it and fucking listen to me!” My sudden outburst snapped him to attention, and he whirled his face to look at me, our eyes locking. “Just listen, okay? They kidnapped me, but once I was there, I saw everything. There’s water and trees, and, and…and chocolate! There’s chocolate!”

“Chocolate?”

“Yes, chocolate! And Jacob, people just want to be free, to live the livestheywant to live.” I took his face into my hands, cupping his cheeks gently. “And that isn’t so bad, right? To want freedom?”

“You stayed with them by choice? They didn’t keep you there as a prisoner or anything?”

I shook my head. “No. They didn’t mistreat me or anything. They just showed me the truth. And Jacob, the truth is beautiful. They just want peace in the end. And can’t we have that? Can’t we have peace?” He stared at me—expression completely unreadable. And the silence caved in on me as unease took root in my chest. “Jacob?”

“You chose them?”

“What?” Wait a minute…all he got out of that was that Ichosethem?

“Youchosethem? You didn’t come home…to me?”

My brain was foggy, probably due to blood loss and lack of food, but I couldn’t believe the turn this conversation was taking. “Jacob, I didn’tchooseanyone. I was kidnapped, and then there was—”

He pulled away from me. “Youchosethem! I’ve been going out of my freaking mind trying to figure out where you were, going crazy thinking about what they were doing to you, only to find out that you were thereby choice!”

“It’s not like that.”

He stood up and began pacing the room. “I tore through every Subclass home. And when I didn’t find you, I had the REG tear through every house in Telvia, every fucking building, Mara.”

Oh my god.

“I ravaged this fucking place trying to find you. And then when they saw you by the processing plant, I lost my mind. I couldn’t believe it.” His hands were in his hair, pulling on the strands, threatening to tear them out.

I got to my feet, extending my arms out, wanting to soothe him. “Jacob, calm down, please. Let me explain.”

“No, Mara! I made myself look like a fool. I put my reputation on the line defending you to her,” he pointed up at the door. And I knew exactly who he was talking about. “I fucking told her to go to hell, telling her she was wrong about you.”

Oh shit!He told Belinda off? My hands went to my mouth, covering my lips in shock. “Oh my god.”

“Oh my god is right! You think what she did to you was bad? I won’t even tell you what she did to me.”

My heart ached. He went toe-to-toe with Belinda…for me. Against his mother, forme. “Oh, Jacob, I’m so sorry.”

He finally stopped pacing, his shoulders slumped, and a pained look crossed his face. “Mara,” he breathed out my name, and a sudden rush of guilt flooded me, bringing tears back to my eyes. “Why would you do this? Why would you do this to me?”

My heart broke then. I didn’t think it was possible, but it clearly was, because here I stood, with my heart breaking for the third time. And I had nothing to say. Because how do you answer that? What could I say in this moment to ease his pain?

He looked away, balling his hands into fists. “When they saw you at the plant, when they told me you had been there…I was so confused. And I lost it. I was convinced that they were mistaken. Because there was no way that Mara,myMara, my baby sister, would betray me.”

I wiped my tears away, sucking in a breath as I held back a sob. “Jacob,” I whispered out, but he ignored me.

“And then when they told me they had caught someone. That they caught that fucking maid, Chelsea,” he ran his hands through his hair again, “I fucking lost it for reals.”

My heart squeezed, causing a searing pain to rip through my chest. The memory of Chelsea, bruised, battered, and beaten, shot through my mind. “You did that to her?” I knew Chelsea had said it was him, but I didn’t want to believe it. Jacob was good. He wouldn’t do that toanyone.

His gaze returned to mine, hardening with cold pride. “Oh yeah I did.” My hands went back to covering my mouth, trying to keep me from screaming. “You fucking bet I did. I knew ifanyoneknew where you were, it would be her. And I was going to find you.” And just as suddenly as the look of pride had flooded his face, it was gone, leaving behind only pain. “Ihadto find you.” And then his shoulders slumped again as he tucked his chin in, gaze returning to the floor.

I hated what he did, but I understood. Jacob would travel through hell and back to find me, to keep me safe. He had always been there for me when no one else was. He had stood up against Belinda and,literally, took a beating for me. Because he was my brother, my older brother, and he loved me.

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