Page 148 of Resist

Edith always corrects me, always emphasizes the difference. She always reminds me that Mara begged her to get us out safely. If she was betraying us, then why leave us alive? Why make sure Edith knew how to get us out?

I was so confused. And I was so worried. Nothing made sense, and she left me behind with the most cryptic message ever.It’s not what it seems.

I was an idiot.

I dared to hope.

I dared to believe that those words meant something.

Fucking stupid.

Hope was a fickle mistress, only setting me up for more pain, more rejection. I had to stop doing this to myself.

I came to the edge of the pool, feeling my heart beating fast, my breathing ragged. My muscles ached with fatigue. They trembled as I pulled myself out of the water, the smell of chlorine ripe in the air. I sauntered to the bench in front of me, reached for my white towel, and buried my face in it. I’d been spending a lot of time swimming lately, ever since the Telvian mission. Ever since she’d been incarcerated a week ago.

I drew the towel down over my throat, feeling the stainless-steel chain tug on my neck. My dog tags clinked, and instinctively, my hand went to them. I felt the rectangular metal between my fingers, and then I felt her ring resting alongside them.

My father had taken it from her when she was captured; imprisoned for betraying the North, for betraying the Dissenters, for shooting her team, for shooting me.

I was surprised he gave it back to me. Then again, I think he enjoyed salting my wounds, preening now that he had her behind bars. Letting me have her ring was just a way of reminding me I always failed. And that gave him some deep-seated satisfaction. I wanted to throw it away, to chuck it into the deepest part of the sea…

But I couldn’t.

Because no matter how wrong I had been, no matter how much she betrayed us all, I still loved her. And keeping her ring reminded me that I held her once, that she was mine if only for a little while.

I shivered as the cool temperature of the pool room caused my wet skin to prickle. This was one of the few places I found sanctuary in my father’s house. It soothed my weary soul, gave me a place to think while my body kept busy doing something productive.

No one bothered me here…until now.

Movement on my left caused me to turn my head. And I saw the last person I wanted to see.

“What are you doing here?” I narrowed my gaze at Matias as I toweled myself down. The look on his face told me he knew he wasn’t welcomed. He approached me with cautious eyes, slowly, like I was a viper coiled tight, ready to strike.

He wasn’t wrong.

He tucked his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. “We need to talk.”

I ran the towel down my torso, my fingers curling into the fabric with a death grip. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

Matias paused two yards in front of me.Stupid.Two yards was nothing to me. He would have been better—safer—staying at the opposite end of the pool.

“Wes,” he began evenly, putting his hands up, palms out. “I’m not here to fight with you, brother. But we need to talk.”

I rubbed my face in the towel again, trying to control my anger, my impulses. “My brother’s dead. I don’t have brothers anymore.”

He grimaced. “Wes,” he tried again, “I know you’re pissed at me—”

I laughed sardonically, cutting him off. “That’s an understatement.”

“I don’t blame you, but it’s not what it seems.”

I froze.It’s not what it seems.That’s what she said…it’s not what it seems.

Matias pushed the advantage given to him by my hesitation. “Mara and I…it’s not like that between us. She doesn’t love me. Not like that.” He took a step towards me, and my whole body tensed as I glared at him. He stopped mid-step, reading my body language. “You have to do something. You have to help her.”

I turned away from him. “I don’t have to do anything.”

“She cares about you, Wes.”