Page 80 of Resist

Always.

And I had been too stupid, too scared to see it. Too afraid to admit that maybe I wanted him to be there. That I wanted him more than anything else. That the emotions and inexplicable force that always drove me toward him was really my very own heart—my verysoul—seeking her perfect match. And I…I was his.

I pulled away from him then, just enough to look straight into his eyes, and it was all there. Everything I had refused to see—refused to acknowledge—was on full display in the depths of those hazel eyes.

Love.

I let go of his hand, drawing both of my own onto his chest, and I felt him. I felt the beating of his heart, hard and fast. And I knew at that moment he was afraid. Afraid that I would take his soul—the part of him he had worked so hard to shield from the world—and reject it. But he had nothing to fear from me.

Not anymore.

I allowed my left hand to travel up his chest, feeling the fabric of his lapel, and then the smooth skin of his neck. His heart jumped under my right palm, galloping wildly in his chest. With bated breath, I whispered his name.

He pulled me closer, drawing me flush against his body, causing me to lose my voice. His spare hand caressed my cheek. “Mara, I…” he hesitated, and I felt my heart thundering inside me. I held my breath, the anticipation tearing me at the seams. “I…”

Do it. Just say it.

I had to hear it. I needed to hear him confirm everything I was only now beginning to understand. I needed to hear those words.

“I—”

“Mara,” someone interrupted, cutting Wes off, and causing us both to take a step away from each other. The world came back into focus, the magic broken, and I almost choked when my eyes landed on the intruder.

“Matias?” This was awkward, being caught in one of the most intense and intimate experiences of my life by myquasi-sorta-ex. I placed a hand on my chest, fiddling with my necklace as I tried to convince my heart to slow down.

“Hey,” Matias said hesitantly, eyes flicking from me to Wes, and then back to me again. “Can we talk? Please?”

I glanced at Wes, watching as he shifted, facing away from me. “Now’s not a good time,” I said.

Matias licked his lips, desperation on the edge of his voice. “Please.”

“Matias,” I began, facing him once more. I couldn’t do this with him right now. Not when Wes and I were—

“Just go,” Wes said, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked at him. “Wes, no. I ca—”

“Go, Mara,” he repeated in a whisper. I saw it. I saw the hurt and the doubt curling up in the depths of his eyes. From one heartbeat to the next, Wes’s stoic mask shifted into place and shut me out. “Just go.”

“But—”

He didn’t let me finish. He turned and walked away, disappearing into the sea of glittering gowns and black tuxedos.

43: One More Chance

My world was spinning, and I felt so disconnected from my own body as Matias guided me through the endless mass of faces. All I kept thinking of was the look in Wes’s eyes before he shut himself back up behind his emotional walls. My world was turning upside down. Truths I had been trying to hide from myself were spinning out of control, and all I wanted to do was go back to him. To run back and bury myself in the sanctity of his embrace.

“Matias, I’m sorry,” I began, feeling him tug me along toward a giant floor-to-ceiling window. “I just can’t do this right now.” I looked back behind me, catching sight of Edith several yards away in a stunning red dress that looked more like she painted it on her figure. She was laughing, surrounded by a throng of guys who looked like they were ready to offer her the world.

Despite the rush of confusing emotions within me, I smiled. Just wait until I told her I had finally figured it out. Of course, that meant I was also going to have to apologize and admit I waswrong and she was right. And lord knows I would never hear the end ofthat!

“Please, Mara,” Matias begged. I snapped my attention back to him. “I just—I just have to get this out, and it can’t wait anymore.” Coming up to the window, he reached for a handle. I realized then that in the middle of the giant window was a door leading out to a balcony that overlooked the estate. Opening it, he ushered me out into the cool night, a breeze causing me to shiver and pull my wrap tighter around me.

I walked out to the railing, glancing out across gardens of flowers and the glistening waters of a serene pond, before turning to face Matias. He was cute in his tux, looking older than I knew he was. His boyish features—sweet as always, with the tousled locks of black-brown hair that framed his deep brown eyes—reminded me of a love come and gone. He hesitated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, hands fidgeting as his nerves got the best of him.

What was he so nervous about? I knew things had been awkward between us, but not so much so that he should be this uncomfortable. He blew out a breath, clearly trying to ease his angst. I felt so bad for him that I just couldn’t help myself. I walked up to him, cupping his cheek with my hand. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s going on?” I asked, putting a smile on my face to reassure him. “Why are you so nervous?”

He closed his eyes as he leaned into my palm. “Mara,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” Opening his eyes, he poured himself out. “I wasn’t there for you when I should have been. I let my anger about what happened to Chelsea keep me from doing what I should have. I should have been there for you with the Admin Job. If something had happened to you, I never would have forgiven myself.”

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