Page 63 of Orc Me, Maybe

“I went to the village.”

“And?”

“I bought things.”

“For camp?”

“For you.”

Her eyes go wide. “Did you get me the boots with the unicorn laces?”

I shake my head. “The ones with actual horn dust were banned after the incident with the pixie council.”

“Ugh, boring.”

She grabs another chip. “Did you get anything for Julie?”

The question lands so hard I almost choke on my own chip.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Why would I?—?”

“Because you like her.”

I stare at her. “I tolerate her.”

Lillian gasps, scandalized. “You love her!”

“Keep your voice down.”

She leans in, whispering dramatically. “Did you get her a present?”

“I bought socks.”

“You never buy socks unless it’s serious.”

“I buy socks to avoid frostbite.”

She pauses, chewing thoughtfully. Then, with the serenity of a philosopher king, she says, “If you marry her, I get to call her Mom.”

I sputter. “That is not how it works.”

“Groth said she already bosses you like one.”

“She coordinates me. Professionally.”

“She kisses you yet?”

I blink. “That’s not any of your business.”

She grins. “That means no. Are you gonna kiss her?”

“Lillian!”

Lillian gasps again. “Is this secret courtship?! Is this what the romance novels talk about? Groth lent me one with pirates?—”

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