Page 105 of Made in Mumbai

“No, Maya, do not talk like that to me. I am not some child that you are sending me off to sleep and being the adult.”

“Then what do you want me to do? What’s happened?” She hiked MM around and lifted her on her shoulder.

“Nothing,” he swallowed. “Just leave me alone.”

“That is why I said, go and sleep.”

“No. In life. Just leave me alone for some time. Actually,” he turned and began to stride towards the main door. “I’ll go out.”

“In those old tracks?”

He glanced down. They were old and ratty, and had MM’s spit-up milk on it. Gautam changed tracks and went again for his room.

“Wait,” Maya held his bicep midway. Her face softened — “What happened? Tell me. Is it something about the spices business?”

That kindness, that compassion, that concern? He was not made for that. That downy head with a whole lot of curls, sweet and pretty in the crook of her mother’s neck? He wasn’t made for that either.

“I am going.” Gautam announced.

“Where? Turkey?”

“To my new house. You stay here with MM.”

“Hang on, hang on, hang on… you are asking me to stay in your flat while you go to that new bungalow of yours? Like shift?”

He nodded. Maya remained silent, trying to read him. Then she turned and padded to her room, returning without MM.

“You mean you are breaking up.”

“When were we in a relationship?”

“Right. We never signed a contract or something.”

“Don’t act smart with me now, M.”

“No, I’m just following your cue. You said let’s get together, so let’s get together. You became this solid partner, almost a father figure to my pregnant belly — let’s do that! You stayed in the labour room, became this… parent to my daughter, helped me day and night with her — let’s do that. Now, I should be thankful you stuck around until she had learned to sleep better. Thank you, Gautam. You may shift. I will shift out from here as well…”

“No.”

“Excuse me, why would I listen to you? Are we in a relationship? Are you Megha’s dad?”

He tautened. That blow hit worse than the words from the letter.

As if his expression had given away all the poison churning inside of him, Maya crossed the distance between them and grabbed his shoulders, her eyes beseeching — “Talk to me, G. Talk to me. Don’t leave like this. I can see what’s going on between us. All three of us. Don’t leave this.”

“I have to,” he stepped back, and her face paled. As if stricken. One tear, then two. Her head bowed, but he could see them fall one by one, dripping to his floor. A shiver racked across her shoulders.

“May…”

“How did I become this?” She dropped her face into her hands. “Shit, shit, shit. How did I become this again?” Her head rose, and blank eyes bore into his — “I never begged my own parents for affection., didn’t beg my husband… and I became your charity case? Begging you to love me? To love Megha? To be ours when you clearly have been looking to walk out?”

“It’s not you.”

“It’s good Megha is so small… she won’t see her mother like this… she won’t remember you and ask for you…” Maya began to retreat to her room, but this time he stopped her with a hand on her bicep.

“You are not going anywhere, I am. End of discussion.”

“You cannot ord…”

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