Page 119 of Resisting the Running Back

“What if she is?” he asks.

What the fuck, bro? I was waiting for him to calm my nerves and tell me there’s no way that could possibly be true.

Does he really think that?

I don’t get a chance to ask because he’s called back to the media table for more interviews.

But now it’s a thought swirling around my mind, and it’s going to send me into a spiral.

I would do anything for her…and that includes leaving her if I think she’s better off without me.

I don’t know what that looks like. She’s living in my fucking house, for one thing. I’m away for two weeks. I’ve been gone less than forty-eight hours, and I’m already questioning whether she deserves better.

Of course she does. She deserves someone who can be present for her. Who can show up for her.

She deserves the guy I am in the offseason, not the guy who travels from city to city playing a game every week. Not the guy who’s gone for two weeks at training camp, leaving her back home.

I only get to be that guy for half the year. The other half, I’m a football player first. I have to be. I have teammates relying on me to be.

But…so does Tanner, and he managed to strike a balance. Or not. This is his first seasonplayingwith Cassie in his life. Maybe they’re struggling, too, and maybe that’s where his words are coming from.

The difference is that he’s married now.

This was never an issue in previous seasons, but I’ve also never had to leave someone behind who I was so deeply in love with.

And sometimes that deep kind of love means sacrificing the things that you want in order to give the other person what they need.

And I think Sophie needs someone who can be present for her.

Spencer slides into the seat beside me. “You doing okay?”

I lift a shoulder. “Hanging in there.” I glance over at him. “How do you manage to keep the balance between your career and your wife?”

His brows dip. “I don’t know if I do. I think it’s more her understanding what this job entails than anything special I’m doing. Why do you ask?”

I lift a shoulder as I start to bare my soul to my half-brother. “It suddenly feels like I’m choosing between Sophie and this career. I know that’s not the case. She wouldnevermake me choose.”

But in a lot of ways, that’s what it comes down to in my own head.

“But you’re making yourself choose?” he guesses.

“Kind of, I guess.” I blow out a breath.

“Why can’t you have both?”

It’s food for thought, I guess.

“How are things going for the wide receivers?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Madden Bradley is giving me a run for my money, man. He’s a couple years older than me but fast as hell.” He shakes his head like he needs to get his shit together to keep his place on the team. “But he’s also got his father breathing down his neck to take over the family business when he retires, so he’s got a lot of pressure on him. I’m not sure how long he’ll stay in the game, but he’s a hell of a player, and we’re lucky to have him.”

“We got quite the acquisition in that trade deal,” I murmur.

He nods. “Chicago got rid of an all-star, that’s for sure. It’ll be a battle.”

“May the best receiver win,” I say, meaning it as a joke because surely it’s Spencer, but I’m not sure it lands that way since he’s currently worried it’s not him at all.

This is a serious business. Any number of guys would give up anything to be in our position—including relationships. Family. Careers.

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