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“Welcome to Portofino’s. May I have your name?”

“Chrasmere Black,” I answered.

She scrolled her lil’ list and smiled. “Yes sir, Mr. Black. Right this way.” She grabbed two menus and ushered us to a table that sat in the corner but at an angle where you could see the door with no problem. “Your waitress will be here shortly. Enjoy your night.”

I pulled out Fade’s chair then occupied the one across from her. She hadn’t stopped smiling since we entered the building. Icould tell she hadn’t had a nigga show her this kind of attention in a long time. She was too geeked to step out.

“This is nice, baby. I like their layout.”

“This my first time here. I just heard a lot of good shit about it. It was a wine recommended but we gon’ have to visit this muthafucka next year or something when you can enjoy that shit.”

“I’m cool without it. This is good enough for me. What’s the popular dishes here? Did they say?” she inquired picking up the menu.

“Nah, but the menu tells you what’s in each dish.”

The waitress pulled up ready to take our order. Fade couldn’t drink so we ordered water as our beverage and played it safe with the Arrabbiata. I wasn’t trying to temp my baby or enjoy something she couldn’t. However, when we got back to the crib, I planned on taking a few shots before I fucked her pretty ass to sleep.

There wasn’t a woman alive that could say they had me like this. Fade had a nigga in a fuckin’ tailored suit making dinner reservations and shit. All it took was a waffle house all-star meal and they were satisfied in the hood. They didn’t make me want to step up and show them something different. I owed that all to the woman sitting across from me.

“So, we gon’ talk for real or we gon’ bypass all the shit that’s happened like it ain’t nothing,” I asked. Moving forward, I needed us on the same path for our child. No misunderstandings or assumptions.

Before she could answer, the waitress returned with our waters. Fade grabbed hers immediately and sipped on it. I didn’t think she was nervous, but I did think she would end up being emotional by the end of the conversation. So far, anytime I got close to her heart, she panicked and I ain’t like that.

“Are we addressing everything?” she asked.

“Why not? Shit, this the chance to speak yo’ peace and run if need be.” I would kill her before she could get out the door if the latter was her choice.

“Run? Chrasmere, you and I both know you would never let that happen.” A light chuckle escaped.Fuckin’ right.“I will address how I went from being so mature and guarded to unraveling and being so vulnerable with you. Houston played with my heart in ways I didn’t think he could so when I ran into you, I wasn’t in the mood. However, after the one night at the hotel, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was weird because I could be doing the simplest shit, and you would invade my thoughts. I ignored it as much as I could until you came to the shop for your car. All those feelings I had on night one rushed back and I couldn’t deny how good it felt to see you even if it was briefly. From then on, it’s been like a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Nothing and I do mean nothing seemed to be peaceful if you weren’t around. I guess it was the way you chased me. I never had a man show that he wanted me so much. Houston was the complete opposite and all I knew for eighteen years. I wasn’t ready for you and that’s the God honest truth. I don’t even know if I’m accepting this to get over the heartbreak Houston caused but I know I love you. My feelings are real. They might be rushed but they’re real.”

She said a mouthful, but I heard her loud and clear. When she spoke to me, she maintained eye contact. I believed every word and knew that everything about us formed in the blink of an eye. Fade had only been in Eastlake for a few months and already I had her locked down and on the path to having a nigga baby. No time was wasted, and we both knew there was no turning back now. The souls were tied.

“Do you think I’ll make you feel that same heartbreak?” Her head fell to the side slightly as if she was unsure. I never wanted her mind to wonder when it came to me. That didn’tcause nothing but insecurity. “I won’t. If anyone was to end up heartbroken out of this, it would be me. I can take a lot of shit, whether it’s a muthafucka disrespecting me, my crew, or family ‘cause I know how to handle that. I can’t take you leaving me though. This shit different for me than it is for you. I don’t love easily and I damn sure don’t wear my heart on my sleeve the way I have for you. A nigga ain’t never been so close to a woman’s soul that I could reach out and touch that shit. Women? I’ve had plenty of them, but ain’t nan one of them made me crave, miss, or love them the way I do you. I’ll agree and say it was fast to have me so down bad behind yo’ ass, but it's not a regret. I put a baby in yo’ ass and been trying to get yo’ pretty ass pregnant again and you ain’t even dropped this one yet. This some simp shit, but I can love you enough for the both of us. I’m a nigga that can bare that.”

By the time I finished talking, her overly sensitive ass was in tears. I wasn’t even trying to make her cry tonight. All I wanted her to know was how locked in I was. I didn’t care for nobody else but her. Dragging her ass out that abortion clinic was to save my sanity, not hers. I had a vision of my future and that would’ve shattered that muthafucka into pieces if she went through with it.

When I told her she was mine in that hotel room, I wasn’t talking to be talking. I felt the fuckin’ connection then and I knew it was gon’ be hard to get her to believe and see the same shit. She was a fresh divorcée and probably wasn’t checking for shit like she said. I was just a spoiled ass nigga that always got what he wanted. Fade was that.

“Seeing you with another woman hurt me more than it was supposed to. I wasn’t supposed to catch feelings let alone fuck you, but it happened and I lowkey lost my shit. I heard you saying you loved me and thought how could you love me and still do you. The choice to get an abortion was off pure emotion. Theconnection with us so damn strong and I don’t know how that shit happened.”

“Yeah, I been asking myself that shit too. I really don’t give a fuck how it happened though. A nigga happy with you, Fade. I may be twenty-five, but I know what I want. Hell, I know what I got and unlike the last nigga that had you, I ain’t ‘bout to fuck it up and lose it. Aight?”

Nodding, she patted at her wet face with a napkin cleaning herself up. She was gaining her composure again. Fade didn’t have shit to worry about when it came to me… us. Disloyal hadn’t ever been a character trait of mine. I put those I loved before myself on any occasion. She was pregnant with a nigga baby. That put her at the top of the list each and every time.

“So, is this the part where I relax and let you run the show?” she questioned.

“Kick yo’ feet up and pig the fuck out. I got this, Mama. I can promise you that.”

She motioned for me to come to her, and I quickly leaned over the table into her area. She gently palmed my face and placed a kiss on my lips. Our lips parted and our tongues danced to their usual beat causing a nigga dick to rise. Anytime she showed affection, I immediately wanted to fuck. I was a fuckin’ horn dog behind her ass.

“I love you, Chrasmere.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

The food was finally brought out and we could enjoy ourselves. It went silent as we filled up on the meal. I couldn’t lie, the people that bragged about it had every right to. The portions were huge, and they had good hospitality. It wasn’t what I expected.

“So, do you ever like race or anything?”

“All the time. As a matter of fact, I got one coming up. It’s this Saturday at eight. You trying to show up and support yo’ man or something?”

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