Page 11 of Zinc: Black Metal Gang

“Aye sis’, let me holla at you right quick.”

“Chrome, as much as I would love to kick it with you and embarrass myself even more, I have somewhere to be.”

“That nigga ain’t gon’ answer. Whether it’s by phone or you popping up at the crib.”

I slowed down and turned around with confusion etched across my face. I heard what the hell he said, but I was vexed on why the nigga I laid beside every night wouldn’t answer for me. This was something that needed to be discussed… no, explained. I fucked up, I knew that but the least he could do was give me a minute to do that.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I know my brother and him seeing you here probably sparked feelings he harbors for his mama. She started out just like you.”

“Just like me? Meaning what, Chrome?” I wasn’t sure if he was trying to throw shots at a bitch or what. However, I was gon’ stay and hear him out. Maybe he could give me answers as to why Zinc flipped shit the way he did.

“She stripped, not in a fine establishment like this muthafucka but in a club, nonetheless. Any who, she was doing what she had to do for home. Somewhere along the line, she got addicted to drugs and somebody convinced her she would makemore on the streets than in the club. She gave that shit a try and ain’t been home ever since. Zinc lost his mama to this life and although this shit is entertainment for him, he don’t want a woman that does it. I’ll bet my last that nigga cut you off,” he said with a small laugh. I didn’t find shit funny.

“That’s funny to you?” I questioned.

“My bad, sis’. I ain’t mean to laugh for real. It’s just that nigga can get cold. You think I’m unhinged, that nigga really don’t give a fuck. Good luck, though. You gon’ need it fa sho’.”

I shook my head while I stormed out the club. Now that both Zinc and Chrome told me about his mother, I felt so ashamed that it was beginning to overwhelm me. I was here for one reason, and it wasn’t to make money or find another dick to hop on. I just wanted to do what made me happy. Now I was in the ring with my nigga fighting like my life depended on it. I didn’t think it would end up this bad.

Running to my car, I hopped in throwing my things to the passenger seat. I hit the button on the dash and allowed the car to crank good before I threw it in drive. I wasn’t a woman to beg for a bitch ass thing, but I wanted my relationship with my man to stay.

If Nahmari cut me off like Chrome stated, I was crashing out. No if, ands, or buts. I loved my nigga, and I wanted to believe he loved me as well. Any man who showed his ass the way he just did had nothing but love for his woman. I was woman enough to own my fuck up, but he had to let me. Running away wasn’t gon’ solve shit. To be honest, all it was gon’ do was piss me the fuck off. I didn’t run from my problems. That was what you called coward shit. I did the dash ‘bout mine and I expected for him to do the same in return.

I cruised through traffic not giving a fuck about what law was broken. Eighty was hit through the city until I was deep in Myers Park. I knew he wouldn’t go back to my place from how upset hewas. I rode to the bottom of the street where his all black BMW sat in the driveway next to his bike. I probably would get ignored tonight, but I was gon’ take my chances.

I parked in front of the house and hopped out damn near sprinting to the front door. I banged on it like I was the police and anxiously waited for it to be answered. Tears sat on the brim of my lids daring to fall. I didn’t want to believe Zinc cut me off. We were too close for it to end so abruptly.

“Nahmari. Nahmari!” I shouted as my fist continued to pound on his door. I would accept him roughing me up as long as he gave me a face to face.

The door swung open, and I took a few steps back. The look in his eyes was one I’d never witnessed before. It was like I was looking into the face of a menace. I gulped out of nervousness and waited for him to say something.

“Get the fuck away from my crib before I call them people on you.”

“You don’t even fuck with twelve so tell that to a bitch who don’t know you,” I countered.

“I just did. Get the fuck off my porch, Onyx. I ain’t gon’ tell you again.” The door was a barrier between me and my man once again.

Those tears I’d been keeping at bay finally decided to fall without permission, and I felt my entire chest tighten. Beg a nigga? Yeah, aight. Chase a nigga? I quit track a long time ago. However, I would do just that when it came to him. He gave me a comfort another man couldn’t duplicate. A bitch was in love and unlike my best friend, I wasn’t indecisive about a damn thing. My heart lied with that young ass nigga giving me the cold shoulder.

“Baby, I’m sorry. Look, you may not fuck with it, but I was doing what made me happy. You know how I feel about dancing. I lied on exactly where I was dancing but that doesn’tchange shit. I never disrespected you in any shape or form. You ride bikes and I dance, that’s us. If anybody was supposed to understand, it was you. You can have your moment but cutting ties ain’t happening. I don’t play ‘bout my love, and I’ll be damned if I let you take pieces of me then drop them like I don’t mean shit to you. Chin up ‘cause I’m not going nowhere.”

I pulled the chair that sat in the corner to the front and copped a squat. I was putting my pride to the side for him. Too many people thought walking away solved everything, but it didn’t for me. The only thing that would get us through this bullshit was Nahmari getting over his childhood trauma and accepting me for who I am. He was loving me with no problems before my secret was revealed so I didn’t see the hold up now.

With me sitting on his front porch, I thought maybe he’d have a heart and come get me. If he loved me, he wouldn’t let me leave or stay out here alone. I could handle myself, but I always felt secure and protected with him. Regardless of what we were going through, my expectations of him never shifted.

He claimed I didn’t know him but that was far from the truth. I knew he didn’t move for any woman but me. I knew when it came to women, I was the one he publicly and openly displayed his love for. I knew out of all the people who got a piece of him, I was the one who granted him peace. He could front like I wasn’t the one to keep him grounded all he wanted but we both knew the truth.

When he made love to me, I could feel how much I meant to him. When he looked at me, I saw how much love he had for me. Hell, when he kissed me, the passion he held for me was always present. Cutting me off was fuckin’ comical. He couldn’t leave me alone and vice versa. This wasn’t over by a long shot.

&

“Onyx. Sis’. Aye mane, get up before we be late.” I was being woken up out my sleep, but I had no recollection of even falling asleep in the first place.

Peeling my eyes open, Chrome stood over me with his tux in hand. I sat up and looked around. At least he was nice enough to bring me inside instead of letting the mosquitoes tear me up. I was drained and all I did was cry all night. This was not how I wanted to start my day.

“Where’s Nahmari?”

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