Page 16 of Zinc: Black Metal Gang

Slow nodding, I took off my pajamas and stepped into the shower. I washed like I was contaminated with something. I scrubbed as if that would change the outcome. I had no doubt in my mind that I was pregnant. However, all of this was bittersweet knowing I was pregnant for a man that looked at me with so much disgust. He wasn’t fuckin’ with me in no shape or form.

When it all came down to it, a baby wasn’t supposed to be in the picture. I saw a future of just me and my man going from country to country living life. A child stopped people from doing the simplest things and that wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. I always been the girl to get up and go without having so much attached to me. Packing a diaper bag was not in my plans.

I stepped out the shower wrapping myself in a towel. There was no need to get dressed up, so I knew to get a simple two piece out my closet. It took me no longer than twenty minutes to get my shit together. I had my braids up in a bun and the black fit hugged my body. There was nothing more to do than nervously take that drive.

Walking to the living room, Dior sat scrolling. I got her attention by doing a small huff and she stood immediately, grabbing her keys in the process. We headed out the door in silence and all I could think about was how I would break the news or if I was even going to accept the news. I wasn’t Kosha and I knew for a fact kids didn’t fit my lifestyle.

Making it to the car, I took the passenger seat and just sat there. My father would’ve been ecstatic about finally becoming a grandfather while my mother would’ve encouraged me to have it just for her. I was an only child, so this baby would’ve made their day. I was sure of it.

It didn’t take long for us to get to the hospital. Eastlake Medical Center wasn’t quite downtown, but it might as well have been. If I was being truthful, the city was so damn smallcompared to the shit I was used to in Atlanta. However, I fucked with the lil’ itty bit shit. Me and bestie both scored niggas who didn’t play about us.

You ain’t got no man no more, Onyx. Snap the fuck out of it.

Dior behaved like I would and parked directly in front of the emergency room. When I walked in, I saw so many bikers it was crazy. Someone had a race and something went left. I shook my head and approached the receptionist.

“Name and reason for care.”

“Onyx Marcel and I have excessive vomiting.”

“Is there any chance it can be because of pregnancy?” Once again, that pregnancy shit was being thrown around.

“I’m not sure,” I answered truthfully. I was more than eighty percent certain I was, but that twenty percent was still unclaimed.

“Okay. Let me get your license as well as insurance card.” I handed over what she requested, she pecked a few keys then returned my cards. “Someone will be out shortly from Fast Track to get you. Here, wrap this around your wrist, please.”

My bracelet was on, and I was sent ‘bout my way. I took a seat on the opposite end of the lobby away from the crowd. I noticed that there were mostly Hispanic people filling the room and I was curious as to why. I couldn’t even sit and catch what tea I could before my name was being called. Kissing the back of my teeth, I stood and gave a light jog to where the nurse was standing.

“Can you tell me your first and last name, as well as your date of birth?” he asked.

“Onyx Marcel. Two, eight, eighty-nine.”

“Thank you. So, I see you’re having constant nausea. What’s the scale right now? Do you feel the need to vomit?”

“No. It’s mostly like when I eat or drink something. A smell could throw me off as well,” I answered.

“A smell? Are you pregnant? Most women experience excessive nausea during their first trimester.”

“To be honest, I don’t know what I am. I have been careless with my pills lately so there’s a good possibility.”

“Would you mind giving us a sample? We can run a simple pregnancy test from your urine or draw blood and get a for sure answer.”

“Sure.” I grabbed the cup he extended and headed for the bathroom he pointed to.

“Hand the sample over to the nurse that will be outside the bathroom waiting,” he instructed.

I was in and out with no emotions. It was like nothing mattered until I heard the results. The fact was, I wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. If my behind was still in Georgia, this pregnancy wouldn’t even be on the table. I would blame food poisoning or a virus. This shit was for the fuckin’ birds.

He asked me to sit tight, and Dior and I just shared a look that said I knew better. I really did, but I lost all common sense when I was with Nahmari. He contributed to a lot of my wild nights here. I didn’t think any of that would lead to sharing a child with him.

“Are you going to tell him?” Dior asked.

“Can’t tell a nigga shit if he ain’t trying to hear it.”

“What makes you think he don’t want to hear that? From the way you talk about him, I don’t think he’ll dismiss you like that.”

“You don’t know my nigga. He is everything nontolerant. Girl the way he spoke to me at the wedding hurt my feelings. I don’t know if I even want to see him again so soon.”

“Okay, switch gears then. Are you ready to be a mom? I see how you live, Chanel, and it doesn’t give mom at all.”

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