Page 78 of The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating

Leaning into the swing, I channeled a surge of dominion magic into the strike. The eyeball made a fantastic squelch and soared through the air. A single pulse of shadow adjusted its trajectory mid-flight, ensuring it splattered graphically against a distant rock formation on a floating island—visible proof of my skill, even from here.

Vex, leaning against the parapet, offered a wry nod. “Well done, my lord. Though I doubt we can reuse that one.”

I flicked off a bit of gore from the club. “Sacrifices must be made. Speaking of which, has Lady Blackrose finally emerged from the stables, or is she still doting on that overgrown lizard I was fool enough to give her?”

Vex and Griffin exchanged a look that made me want to fling them both from the parapet. “Well?” I prompted irritably.

“Lady Blackrose spent her morning in the library,” Vex said, “researching dragon husbandry.”

“How riveting,” I replied. My jaw tightened without my permission. “I’m thrilled she’s occupied while the fate of this fortress hangs in the balance.”

Sims stepped up to take his shot, eyeball in place. He swung so poorly that it tumbled straight into the swirling clouds. “To the abyss with that one,” he muttered.

Griffin clasped his hands behind his back. “That’s four eye casualties today, Sims.”

Vex straightened, posture all business. “Continuing where we left off: No word yet from our agents in Solandris about Lord Evenfall’s plans. He’s keeping his dealings very quiet.”

My grip on the club tightened, the mere mention of Arabella’s father curdling my mood further. “What about the mercenary recruitment, then?”

“No solid leads. He’s approached at least three companies this past week, but we can’t track them all,” Vex admitted.

Griffin picked up the next eyeball, rolling it in his palm with forced casualness. “He’s not actually trying to mount a direct assault on a floating fortress, is he? That’d be suicidal.”

“Indeed,” I said, thinking how the Heirloom’s stasis complicated everything. “But Evenfall is desperate, and desperation can drive a fool to unimaginable risks.”

Sims consulted a small notebook. “His coffers have been empty for years. His only decent asset was?—”

“His daughter,” I finished flatly, a stark fury worming into my mind. “Who’s now of no use to him because she belongs to me.”

Griffin set his eyeball on the tee, lined up, and—thump. The organ soared, dropping neatly onto a mid-range island. He crowed with triumph. “That puts me ahead by two!”

“Temporarily,” I warned him, though my mind was elsewhere. “It’s curious, isn’t it? Evenfall acts as though heexpects me to simply hand over both his daughter and a fortune, despite knowing full well who I am.”

“Perhaps he’s counting on your well-known mercy and generosity,” Vex suggested, her tone so dry it could have parched the Ashen Wastes.

I snorted. “That must be it—my reputation for compassion precedes me.” I stepped up to the tee. “Perhaps I should send him a gift basket full of severed fingers.”

“Didyou send a response?” Griffin asked, handing me another eyeball.

“I debated removing his courier’s head as a token,” I said, “but that seemed too polite. So I offered a different message.”

Sims hesitated as he jotted it all down. “Which was?”

“That if Evenfall persists in demanding his daughter’s return, I’ll consider it an open war with Skyspire. And then I recommended he partake in certain… anatomically elaborate activities while waiting for the nonexistent ransom.”

Griffin grimaced. “Very diplomatic, my lord.”

“Some traditions must be maintained,” I said, channeling my irritation into a second shot. I examined the eyeball, which had an unusual golden fleck in the iris. “This one looks familiar.”

“It should,” Vex said with a grim smile. “That’s all that remains of the guard who couldn’t keep his eyes to himself when Lady Blackrose first arrived.”

The eye squished slightly as my anger flared, hot and possessive. I forced myself to relax before I ruined a perfectly good projectile.

Sims sniffed. “He should have known better than to ogle the boss’s wife.”

“He made his choice,” I said, placing the eyeball on the peg. My swing was vicious. I watched with satisfaction as it arced through the air, then gave it a subtle magical nudge so it landedprecisely in the courtyard below. It was followed by a spectacular chorus of cursing.

“That’s Thorne,” Griffin announced, peering over. “You’ve got superb aim, my lord.”

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