Page 59 of Restored

Eyes flying open, I drop to my knees to steady myself. I grip the staff tightly and then wipe damp palms onto my thigh.

Weak. That was all I would ever be. I shut my eyes against the images of Forde above me, the feeling of rough rope against my ankles.

I’ve been floundering since stepping foot out of Bellehaven. I’ve been beaten, bruised, thrown from one harrowing incident to the next. I’d failed Ledger’s father and was currently failing myself.

“Sorry Layla, did I hit you too hard?!” Cam’s eyes are wide, filled with concern. He leans towards me apprehensively from a few feet away, as if not wanting to get too close and upset me further.

“I can’t do this.” I throw the staff, and it falls to the ground sending up a cloud of dirt.

“Get up, Layla.” Mia is next to me in the next second.

“I am good at one thing and that’s healing. I’m just wasting everyone’s time.” My shoulders drop as I let out afrustrated sigh. I can feel Ledger watching from across the training grounds, awaiting my next move.

“You’ve forgotten your reason. You don’t want to feel helpless anymore? Then fight. You don’t want to be a victim anymore? Then fight. You have to feel weak to become strong.” She grabs my staff off the ground and holds her hand out to me. “Now get up.”

“All I’ve been doing is fighting Mia!”

“Well now you’re going to do it with a purpose. On your feet. I’m not letting you give up that easily.” I grind my teeth together letting Mia’s words settle over me. Taking a deep breath, I slide my clammy hand into hers.

Once standing she brushes off my knees and places the staff back into my hands. I grip it hard enough that my fingers turn white and turn back to Cam. He looks nervously between Mia and me.

“I can sense your frustration, your anger. Use it. Channel it. Work with your emotions, not against them. Don’t let them control you.” Mia waits for my reluctant nod before stepping back.

Cam gives me a hesitant look.

“You’re fine, Cam. I’m sorry I had a moment. Let’s try again.” I close the distance between us.

“Are—are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I’d asked for this; I just wasn’t prepared for the feeling of vulnerability and helplessness to resurface. I’d made it to Westray, survived the Maladra and Kerolu. I’descaped Forde, and if I encountered any of them again, I’d be prepared.

I close my eyes and bend my knees bracing myself. I hold out my staff ready for Cam’s assault and let my emotions build my determination.

I can sense Cam’s hesitation before he fades. My back spikes with awareness as he materializes. I hear his sharp intake of air as he waits for my reaction.

My body acts before my brain can command it and I swing around brandishing my staff like a sword.

It makes contact, bouncing off Cam’s. A resounding noise echoes through the courtyard.

My eyes spring open to meet Cam’s. He looks shocked, the whites of his eyes gleaming against the sun.

“Let’s go again, and don’t go easy on me.” My eyes fall shut and I get in a defensive position once again.

A rush of air brushes my cheek as Cam departs. I move around the ring with my senses on high alert. Taking a deep inhale, I get a whiff of freshly laundered clothing. Cam.

I strike out, this time making contact with his body.

“Nice one, Layla.” He grunts and I can’t help but smother a grin.

We carry on like this until I am panting and sweat drips down my back. Cam gets in a few more- much lighter hits, but so do I, and each one makes me feel powerful and competent.

Cam fades only to emerge on my right. Our staffs knock together hard enough to make my teeth clatter. He’s gone again and I sense him in front of me. We meet each other blow for blow until I make it past his defenses.

I don’t know where my staff connects but by the pained wheeze that Cam releases, I know it can’t be good. I open my eyes to him on the ground, gripping his groin.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, Cam. Are you okay?!” Mia slaps a hand over her mouth to conceal her laugh.

“Good hit,” he grits out, gasping for air.

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